Meant To Be
by EpicallyObsessed
Summary: Kendall Knight and James Diamond have spent years on the periphery of each other's lives, although it seems that Kendall can't stand James. When life throws them a curveball and they're forced together for days on the road for work, secrets are revealed. Will they be able to see each other in a new light?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello everyone!**

 **I hope you're all having an amazing start to the new year! I didn't really plan on having this up so soon, but here we are! :D**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

In the grand scheme of things, going out with Lucy was probably a bad fucking idea.

I had been best friends with Lucy Stone since freshman year's first frat party, where we did six vodka shots in a row and subsequently threw up in the small dorm bathroom together for the rest of the night.

Lucy liked to joke that nothing bonded two gays together more than alcohol poisoning. I liked to ignore that she knew I was gay from the classy French tuck of my t-shirt that night.

It should have been a clue, then, that when Lucy called me at six o'clock on a Sunday night for a quick catch-up session before she caught her plane to London in the morning, that we wouldn't actually be having a nice, relaxing Sunday hangout.

Instead, true to form, we had drinked pretty much all of the liquor in Sunny's Tavern, an incredibly hipster bar in downtown Seattle, complained about our terrible love lives, and then dragged our asses back to my apartment at four in the morning.

It was creeping on seven-thirty now.

 _Fuck_. I was going to be late for work.

Despite this, it took about ten more minutes of groaning into my pillow before I could even attempt to drag my sorry ass out of bed. I stumbled into the bathroom, the harsh bright light overhead making me wince.

I was halfway done with brushing my teeth when I glanced up at the mirror. A bright pink sticky note was stuck to my forehead. I frowned at my reflection, letting the toothbrush dangle from my mouth as I pulled the note off.

Lucy's lopsided handwriting was as recognizable as her signature move of posting notes wherever she wanted.

 _Hell of a night, Half-Pint. Got a plane to catch. See you in a few weeks. Love you! Don't do anything I wouldn't do. ;) -L_

I rolled my eyes and went to crinkle the note before the sappy part of my hungover brain had me sticking it to the mirror instead.

Getting ready for the day took another fifteen minutes, but even that extra time didn't actually help much. I took one last look in the mirror, cursing at my bloodshot eyes and wrinkled button-down before darting out of the house.

The fresh air helped immediately, and the extra-large, extra-strong Americano I ordered from the cafe halfway between my apartment and the office helped even more. My mouth was cotton, sure, but it was _coffee_ -flavored cotton now.

The heaviness of my head was countered by the warmth of the sun and the rolling nausea in my gut-well, actually, that one kind of just sucked. There was no real upside to being nauseous.

Still. By the time I made it into Spectrum Enterprises, I was only ten minutes late and the Americano was half-empty. Ten minutes late was pretty much par for the course for me, and at least this time it was for a good reason.

I laughed to myself as I pushed the button to the elevator. I doubted my boss, or anyone at the company really, would think getting smashed with Lucy was a good reason.

Oh, well. You win some, you lose some.

Someone's arm reached past me and the elevator button smashed again.

"Already did that." I said, lifting the coffee cup to my lips. I glanced over and grinned wide behind the brim of the cup when I saw Kendall Knight glaring back at me.

Ah. Speaking of losing some.

Sweet, spitfire Kendall Knight. Second in his class at business school, right below me, third in class overall-and, okay, I was fifth. We had both started at the same time-half a week after graduation two years ago. I started in sales, Kendall started in admin.

Somehow, we both worked in the same department now, in client services, underneath the same general manager. I'd been here for two years, and still couldn't figure out their sideways promoting. I would never understand how promotions worked. I'd just keep my nose to the ground and hope I'd get one.

Kendall, on the other hand, was not a nose to the ground kind of guy-not that he wasn't a hard worker. He was great, even if I'd rather have my teeth pulled than admit that to him. He was just way more into brown-nosing and looking around as if the secrets were in the walls.

And, it was always important to note, Kendall's main career move was just glaring at me. And huffing at me. And rolling his eyes at me.

"Didn't think you'd remember to click the button." He said, stepping past the opening elevator doors.

 _And_ speaking to me like a child.

I laughed and followed him into the elevator. So the guy hated me. I thought he was hilarious.

I leaned against the corner, letting Kendall punch in the floor to our offices. I sipped at my coffee, shoving my sunglasses up on top of my head, and watched as Kendall tapped aggressively at his phone.

"Good weekend?" I asked.

Kendall grunted. Not a response coming out in a grunt, but literally just a push of air. I snickered into the cup and then tried again. "Did you see the game this Saturday?"

Kendall sighed. His head fell back, eyes squeezing shut. His mouth was opening and closing as if he was talking to himself.

I took the lid off my coffee cup and took a huge gulp. I waited until Kendall lolled forward, eyes opening again, and started typing on his phone.

I wasn't really sure _why_ he didn't like me. Could be our different work ethics-I couldn't imagine Kendall even once getting drunk on a Sunday night, best friend leaving the country or not. He stayed late nearly every night. I left at five-thirty on the dot.

It wasn't that I didn't try hard at work. It was just that I knew, maybe a little better than most people in the office, how short life could be. It was about more than just a good job.

And, clearly, he could have a good job without all the terrible restrictions he put on himself. After all, we had the same job.

I took a step closer to him and peered over his shoulder. "Who is even up this ear-Oh my god. Is your phone _off_?"

Kendall's head snapped up and he shoved the phone, which _definitely_ had a blank screen, into his pocket. "It...died. I forgot to charge it last night."

I laughed, the nausea in my stomach fading almost completely, because I was too delighted by his bright red face and narrowed glare. Ah. Apparently, there was at least one cure for hangover nausea: Kendall Knight being caught as a dramatic bitch.

I thought the guy was great. Too bad we'd never be friends.

The elevator dinged as we reached our floor. Level eleven, where half the offices for the company were. The other half were on twelve and thirteen, split because those were bigger. One day, I'd end up on thirteen.

 _Kendall can have twelve_ , I thought, grinning.

I held my coffee cup in my mouth with my teeth clamped around one edge. The lid was still in my hand, and I used the other to salute Kendall as I squeezed past him, just to annoy him.

He huffed. I felt another laugh building in my throat.

Stopping by the recycling bin, I downed the rest of my coffee, tossing it and the lid away before making it to my desk.

I only managed to shuck off my jacket and start the computer up before my work phone rang. I answered it quickly, frowning at my schedule on my cell phone. I didn't have any planned calls, and it was only 8:13.

"Diamond. How can I help you?"

Harris Stephens' voice firmly wiped the smirk off my face. "James. Get into my office. Now."

He hung up before I could answer. I sighed, turned the computer screen off, and got back into the elevator.

The trip two floors up to the CEO's office seemed to take three times longer than usual. The headache and nausea that had been slowly receding came back full force, an angry rush of hangover symptoms that a meeting with the big man induced.

I strolled past his secretary and knocked on the door twice before letting myself in.

Harris Stephens was a brute of a guy. Physically and in business, he was a massive man. It was difficult to be in a room with him and not feel like a scrawny teenager.

Which, luckily, I was not anymore.

I smiled brightly at him and threw myself into a seat, lifting my feet onto his desk and crossing my ankles. "Hiya."

"You're late."

I blinked in surprise. It was _ten_ minutes. How had anyone even-

Fucking Kendall Knight, the narc. He had been late too. I'm sure he forgot to mention _that_ part.

"Yep?" I didn't really see the point in denying it. Any sort of checking would result in him knowing immediately. Belatedly, I added, "Sorry."

Harris lifted an eyebrow at me. His mouth was a souring frown and I had barely said three words. "This tardiness won't stand."

I sighed and lifted my hands placatingly. "It was the line for coffee. And also how late I woke up. I'm sorry."

Harris gave me a dissatisfied once-over. "Get your feet off my desk."

I rearranged myself so I was sitting more properly. "I really am sorry. I just forgot to set an alarm."

Harris sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in an exasperated and familiar way. "You're a good kid, and a good worker. You need to be a better _employee_."

The wave of unsettledness that went through me had nothing to do with the hangover this time. I nodded quietly.

He sat back and looked at me, considering. I tried not to fidget under his scrutiny. Still, CEO or not, there was only so long I could sit there quietly. "Anything else on your mind, Uncle Harris?"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Don't call me that here at work."

I knew the speil and recited it under my breath in time as he said it. "No one here knows you're my nephew. I don't treat you any different than anyone else, so I don't want to be accused of treating you different. It's bad for you, too."

"Bad for me, too. Yep, got it."

"This isn't funny."

The sides of my lips quirked up in amusement anyway. "What should I call you then, by the way? Sir? Master? O Ye Who Signeth The Checks?"

Harris sighed heavily, sounding so much like my mother at that moment that I actually did burst into laughter. His lips twitched in amusement as he waved me away. "Get to work, you brat."

In a mirror of leaving another annoyed guy earlier today, I saluted Harris before sauntering out of his office and taking the stairs back down.

The whole eleventh floor was full now. I rapped my knuckles on Kendall's desk when I passed him, just to see that sharp, narrow-green-eyed look of distaste. It brightened the rest of my journey back to my station.

The joy, however, was short-lived. The day of a junior employee in client services was not a glamorous one, and by twelve o'clock, I was ready to give into the seduction of quitting and finding a cheap plane ticket to join Lucy in London.

But then the burrito truck was outside at lunchtime, and that buoyed me enough to survive the rest of my shift.

I bumped into Kendall a few more times during the day, but luckily, nothing too involved. We didn't have to talk-meaning I didn't have to talk while he corrected me rudely and rolled his eyes-and some days, that was just going to have to be enough for a win.

Back in college, Kendall and I had been in a lot of the same classes, in a few of the same clubs, generally just on the periphery of each other's lives. He'd hated me the whole time.

I used to try and understand why, but after a year or two, the effort became more than it was worth. Sure, the guy said snide things and rolled his eyes when I answered questions in class, but his hostility was harmless-and honestly, a bit, well, _cute_ most of the time.

It didn't seem to be tied to any sort of homophobia, since half of our mutual friends in college were gay and he didn't have a problem with them, so I decided it didn't really matter.

Kendall was always going to hate me, and he was probably always going to be peripherally in my life. I learned a long time ago that I didn't get to control other people. That I had no say over fate. If I could accept it back then, when things were hazy with smoke and grief, then I sure as hell wasn't going to get hung up on a coworker's attitude now.

The rest of the day passed at the same breakneck speed as the morning, and before I knew it, I was clocking out and on my way home.

I made it to my apartment with half a leftover burrito to eat for dinner, the number of one of the guys interning in sales, and no more conversations with cranky men who cracked me up. It was a pretty okay day, all in all.

* * *

The flimsy plate on my lap teetered dangerously, threatening to dump my chicken alfredo all over the carpet.

I glared down at the pasta until the plate settled, and then shoved my fork back into it. I chewed slowly, looking between my roommate Logan and his girlfriend, Camille.

They had thought ahead to put real plates underneath their paper ones, so that their food wasn't trying to fall in their laps. Camille's crossed legs took up half of the tiny couch, so I had been relegated by her pointed glance to the armchair across from them.

"And another thing," I said, taking a gulp of water. "James is the absolute _worst_ at spreadsheets, and yet! Yet! They _keep_ letting him make the monthly rundowns. It's… you know what it is? It's nepotism."

Logan arched an eyebrow. "Nepotism is getting ahead because of family connections."

"Fine, favoritism then."

"Are you going to talk about James _all_ night, or just during dinner?"

I flushed and frowned, digging the toes of my socks into the carpet. "Not sure yet. I'll keep you posted."

Logan chuckled around a mouthful of his pasta. He grinned at Camille. "Didn't you miss Kendall's I Hate James Radio Hour?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's like we never even graduated college."

I shoved another forkful of food into my mouth. It wasn't like I talked about James _that_ much. He didn't matter to me. Not even a little bit. He was just-

"Frustrating!" I said, pointing my fork at Logan. "It's frustrating and, more importantly, unfair. I work twice as hard as him and then he comes strolling in late, _clearly_ hungover, on a Monday. A Monday!"

"A Monday?" Camille sat straight and looked between Logan and me with wide eyes. "He was late on a Monday?! Well, fuck, man. Why didn't you _start_ with that?"

Logan laughed, tossing his head back. I mumbled a quick _screw you_ and ate the rest of my pasta silently. I could still feel the words and frustration bubbling underneath my tongue, but managed to hold it in.

I knew I talked about James a lot. It was admittedly, one of my faults. But the guy just _got_ to me. He rubbed up against me in an entirely invasive, unpleasant way. Like no matter what I did, I couldn't manage to actually scrub him out of my thoughts.

It would be easier if we didn't have a history. Hell, half the guys at the office were assholes, and I managed to ignore all of them just fine for the most part. But something about James-his dumb, easy smile, the way he could manage to trick nearly everyone he'd ever met into thinking he was a good guy, the way he never really had to try hard to get where I was freaking _killing_ myself to be-dug at me, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't dig him out.

It was more Logan's worried glances than it was the physical feeling of my knees bouncing up and down that had me realizing how jittery I must've looked. I ignored his heavy look in favor of slowing down the bouncing and twisting my face into a casually interested expression. The effort involved in _that_ meant that I didn't actually hear half of Camille's story, but, hey, at least I looked the part.

I only made it another ten minutes before I begged off.

Logan and Camille cried out in protest, but I waved them off, grabbing all our dirty dishes from the coffee table and putting them away. I could feel Logan's worried stare on the back of my neck even as I scrubbed the creamy pasta sauce out of the pots. How water suds were climbing up my forearms with every harsh scrub.

I knew that things were getting to me-i.e. James was getting to me-worse than usual, could feel annoyance bordering on real anger burrowing right beneath my skin. It wasn't him, not really. Sure, James genuinely was an asshole and genuinely did suck, but it was more than that today.

It had been fifteen years. Fifteen years since my dad died-longer than I'd even known him. My dad hadn't even known me at fifteen. He'd died a month before my ninth birthday.

It was almost my birthday. Today, it was the anniversary of my dad's death.

Logically, I knew an anniversary didn't matter. Logically, I knew that my dad wasn't any more dead today than he had been yesterday or would be tomorrow. An anniversary shouldn't have this sort of hold over me.

But still-the anger burned beneath my skin, and I let it. If I fought against the rage, I knew the only thing I would do was guarantee the release of the grief.

I dried the dishes and escaped back to my bedroom before Logan or Camille could convince me to stay with them. I wanted to burrow under the covers and feel the anger and fight the grief.

I shucked off my work clothes, carefully hanging up the slacks and jacket so they wouldn't crease. I pulled on a pair of old, worn sweatpants and threw myself on the bed. I grabbed my phone from where it was charging on the nightstand and sighed. Two missed calls from Grandma.

A flash of hot guilt swam through me. As hard as today was for me, I knew it was worse for Grandma and Grandpa. My mom had died when I was just a baby, some drunk who'd crashed into her. Dead on the spot.

When Dad followed her a few short years later, it was his parents who picked up the pieces. Picked _me_ up.

I called her and listened to the slow ringing, chewing on my bottom lip. I let it go with a pop when the phone went quiet, followed by Grandma's quiet, unsure "Hello?"

Talking to my grandmother, the woman who'd _raised_ me, was an experience of contrasting urges. The urge to fall to her feet, to thank her, to give her anything she wanted was on the surface-that was the one I tended to indulge. She was a good, honest woman, the most formative person I'd ever met. I hoped every day that my life honored her, even when I knew there was no way I could ever repay her for taking care of me.

But the other part of me-the quiet, hidden, selfish part-wanted to run and hide. Talking to her or Grandpa curled into my stomach all wrong, made me feel a little sick. Not because I didn't love them, but because I did-because I knew that with a single wrong word, a single accident, everything they wanted me to be would disappear in an instant.

I was barely moving up in the company, after they'd worked so hard to get me into a good college, and I knew how much it would mean to them to see me succeed. I hardly ever made it over to the house for Sunday dinners anymore, even when I knew Grandma was already disappointed that I didn't come to church anymore. And I wasn't settling down with anyone and starting a family.

I couldn't tell them _why_ I couldn't do these things-I couldn't tell them who I really was, couldn't risk it.

I blew out a breath and shakily said, "Hey, Grandma."

The quiet was gone in a half-breath. "Oh, Kendall! I was so sure I'd missed you when you didn't answer. Your grandfather, oh-Bill! Bill get in here. No. No, I said GET in here, Bill! It's Kendall. KENDALL. Bill, your grandson. Oh, Kendall, sweetie?"

"Uh, yes?"

"Oh, good. Grandpa wants to say hello."

I nodded and then rolled my eyes at myself. "Okay, Grandma."

"Well, if he ever gets in here." She grumbled. I could see the pinch between her brows and the way she'd tap her foot impatiently on the kitchen linoleum as she waited for Grandpa to come in from the living room. After his hip replacement last spring, he moved just slowly enough to annoy his wife of fifty years.

"How are you, Grandma?"

She sighed heavily. "I'm good, sweetie. Don't you worry about me."

 _Fat chance_ , I thought. "Okay. Tell me about the ladies at the church. And your church groups?"

Grandma didn't hesitate this time, going on about the various ladies and what those ladies were doing, and their kids and grandkids. And, unsurprisingly, the topic of Jo Taylor came up.

Jo was someone I met when I used to go to Sunday school. I knew that she was single now, and if I wanted, Grandma would pass along to Jo's grandma that I, too, was single.

Grandpa finally got fed up listening and snatched the phone from her. I nearly thanked him.

"Lord, woman, let the child _breathe_." He snapped at her, but there was no heat behind the words, and the sound was barely muffled as he directed it away from the receiver. "Kendall."

Grandpa was a man of very few words. My dad had always been more like Grandma, from what I remembered. I was always closer to her for it. But Grandpa...there were some moments when he was the only one I could talk to.

Or, as it was lucky, _not_ talk to. We sat quietly, the phone as heavy as our breathing as we waited for the other one to break.

As usual, it wasn't either of us that did it. Grandma hissed from the other side, _Bill, say something!_ And then Grandpa sighed and asked, "You doing okay?"

"Yes." I said quickly, nodding. I didn't stop even after I remembered he wouldn't be able to see me. "Yes, I'm doing great."

"That's good." He said.

We waited a half of a beat and then, "How about you, Grandpa?"

"Oh, I'm fine, son. Don't worry about me."

I told him a bit about work, and he invited me fishing, the same as we did every time we spoke. I hung up before he could give the phone back to Grandma and she could keep me talking another hour.

When I plugged my phone back in, I could still hear Logan and Camille shuffling in the living room, the TV playing some reality show that they always watched together. It was hardly late enough to be ready for sleep, but I still got ready for bed anyway.

There was a billowing sadness in my chest that I ignored. It was a heavy, low-hanging weight that promised a more sinister fall, but I pushed it down until holding it was exhausting enough that I fell asleep.

XxX

The next morning came much too quickly. My alarm-a blaring, angry, seven a.m. wake up call-startled me awake, my hands flying in a sleepy, uncoordinated effort to slap it quiet.

I normally woke up ten full minutes before my alarm, but even with the extra bit of sleep, and having gone to bed early last night, my head felt groggy and my limbs ached from exhaustion.

I wanted to go back to bed, burrow under the covers and sleep until my head stopped ringing. But sleeping in wasn't an option-people who slept in were people who were late to work, and people who were late to work _weren't_ people who got promotions.

I needed that promotion, so I needed to get the hell out of bed.

By the time I rolled out, it was seven-fifteen. Logan was already in the shower, and I knew from experience that there would be nothing but ice-cold water left-that was why I always woke up at six, to beat him to the punch.

We were out of milk for coffee, and I spilled the last cup of black coffee all over myself, ruining the light-gray pants and blue button-up I was wearing.

I made it to work with five minutes to spare, but I was unwashed, hungry, and wearing _casual jeans_ on a freaking Tuesday.

Then, right when I thought the day couldn't get worse, I stumbled into James.

Like, literally, crashed into the guy. On instinct, I reached out, grasping onto him to keep myself upright.

His hands clenched, one around my upper arm, the other around my waist. He steadied me, eyebrows rising as he gave me a quick once-over.

I froze, not even managing to glare. Instead, I just blinked at him in surprise.

His eyebrows fell and his lips twitched. "Kendall."

His voice, like nails on a chalkboard, woke me right up. I wrenched away, feeling my face flood with embarrassment when I realized that my own hands had been knotted up in his shirt. "James."

He held up his hands up in mock surrender. "Whoa, watch the venom there. _You_ fell into _me_ , you know."

I glared at him and clicked the elevator button again. Or maybe for the first time. I had to start getting up earlier. I couldn't stand it if James and I kept having to ride the elevator together.

Already it was two days in a row. I felt like I was being punished.

"Just...get out of my way." I muttered.

James rolled his eyes. He did it obnoxiously, slowly, as if he was trying to make sure I'd catch it from the corner of my eye. I gritted my teeth to keep from saying something. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

"Wait a second, are you wearing _denim jeans_ at work right now?"

The elevator pulled up, the doors opening. He jumped in front of me, slowly backing up into the elevator to give me a wide grin. "Oh my god, you _are_ wearing jeans."

Even though it was infuriating, I could feel my cheeks heat up by him pointing it out. I stepped into the elevator and jabbed the floor button hard.

James kept talking like I hadn't been ignoring him for five years. "This is so exciting. Best-Dressed Knight is slumming it like the rest of us mortals today. And he was _late_ yesterday."

James started laughing, a delighted peal that made my skin itch. I tapped my foot against the rising floor, counting to ten over and over again as I tried not to say anything unnecessarily rude-not that anything was really unnecessary where James was concerned. It was all well-deserved.

The doors opened, and I launched forward.

James' arm flew out and curled around my elbow, holding me still. I spun around to face him. He was still grinning, face bright and eyes laughing at me.

"Sure hope no one reports you for that." He patted me on the elbow before letting me go, winking. I yanked my arm away and glared at him, feeling my face heat up.

 _I guess I deserve that one._

He strolled past me, whistling as he went toward his desk.

I watched him go, a fleeting sense of envy bubbling up in my stomach. God, I could practically _taste_ how easy life must be for James. How simple and casual and _calm_ it must be to be a guy like that, without a care or worry in the world. Life was a breeze for him.

I slowly stepped off the elevator and walked to my desk, letting the bruising jealousy ease out with every step. I might not have have easy a life as James, but I was not going to let that stop me.

I was going to have just as good a life as James Diamond, even if it killed me.

* * *

 **Done! So, there you have it!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter of this will more than likely be up sometime this weekend!**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello again everyone! :D**

 **Before we get started with the new chapter, I would like to thank everyone that read the first chapter. I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, RainbowDiamonds, Guest, and Side1ways for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

The week had passed with surprising quickness. I liked my job, always had, but working lower on the totem pole than I thought I was cut out for, doing work less fulfilling than I wanted, had me tired and bored most days. I understood that I had to pay my dues, but God, it was frustrating.

But this week hadn't been half as slow as usual.

It was a stroke of luck that Andy from marketing came down with the stomach flu and I ended up with the Heymans account. I normally did more fact-checking: mind-numbing, not-worth-100k-tuition kind of work. But working in marketing, with the designers and the actual creative teams, was almost as invigorating as I remembered it sounding in college.

For once, I showed up to work before eight a.m. and didn't leave until well past six in the evening. My head hurt half the day from squinting at the computer screen, and my apartment definitely looked like someone who didn't give a fuck about laundry lived there, but at least I was finally doing work that didn't make me feel brain dead. That had to count for something.

Despite that, by Friday I was one more note from design away from pulling my teeth out, bare hands and all. There was probably more coffee in my stomach than guts and, thank God, I was about ready to shoot the account to the higher ups.

I leaned away from my desk, rolling my neck as I stretched in my chair. A low groan fell from my throat, the kinks in my neck loosening only slightly.

Sharon laughed, breaking into my self-pitying stretching. I cracked an eye open and glanced at her. "Something to say?"

She lifted her hands immediately. "Hey, I didn't say anything."

"Fuck off, Sharon." I quipped back, but there was no heat behind the words.

With the open-concept office, everyone in our department heard me.

There were twelve of us out here. The cubicles were shaped like a small square. Six of the desks were on the outside, six on the inside. There was a small walkway for those of us in the middle, or as I had dubbed it a few months back, the Quad.

Most of us loved the nickname. I'd give out one guess as to who hated it the most vocally.

I thanked the God of office planners every day that Kendall was on the outside of the Quad. At least now his annoyed and snide remarks were somewhat muffled, and my laughter was softened by the cubicle walls.

A few chuckles filled the space, Sharon rolled her eyes at me even as she laughed. A couple of the guys, Jett and Carlos, glanced up with amused expressions. I heard Kendall's scoff even through the divide of the cubicles separating us.

"Hey, kid." Jett said, even though he was only a couple years older than me. My teeth gnashed, even as I forced a smile onto my face. "You enjoying that new account?"

My smile widened. "Yeah, hundo-p."

Kendall groaned. I heard the soft sound of his head hitting his keyboard. A familiar sound, for sure, followed by an even more familiar, "You're the worst."

Jett and I exchanged a look, punctuated by me rolling my eyes and Jett's wide grin. I considered the pros and cons of pulling Kendall's leg some more, but I knew he was also hoping for the Heymans account, and despite how little he thought of me, I didn't want to be a complete dick to the guy.

The rest of the day passed quickly. I barely noticed the way my hands were cramping and my spine was curling until I looked up and it was past seven o'clock. I cursed, quickly saving all the files I was working on, and waved a quick goodbye to the few people left. Even Kendall was already gone, though I had heard him grumbling while trying to find something else to do to stick around until I left. I knew it grated on him that I'd gotten the account rather than him.

I had a few text messages from Luke, a friend I tried to see at least once a month, but I could feel my heavy eyes and exhaustion clawing at me already. I sent off a quick-fire apology and promised to buy rounds next time.

He sent back a string of annoyed-but hilarious-emojis, but followed it with a "No problem, I totally get it" message that eased, at the very least, the tension of feeling like a bad friend.

I stopped at a burger joint on my walk to my apartment, picking up an admittedly too-greasy meal, and managed to make it into my bed, sans clothes and with a huge pile of french fries, by eight o'clock. With a sigh, I happily started to munch on the food when my phone buzzed.

A jolt of fear that it was work went through me. I was _tired_ , dammit.

It was Lucy's name on the screen, though. I grinned, shoving a fistful of fries into my mouth and answered it with a garbled, "Hello?"

I heard her groan as clearly as if she was sitting across from me. I could practically see her scrunched-up nose. "Half-Pint, you are _disgusting_."

"You know that's not my name." I reminded her.

She made a sound that was the verbal equivalent of waving her hand in the air. "As if that matters."

I laughed and took a long pull from the soda on my nightstand. "So," I said, settling against the pillows. "How's London?"

Lucy started to spill about her last few weeks. It had been almost three since she left, and already I was about to gnash my teeth. Sure, I had other friends in Seattle, but none of them were Lucy. And with me being so busy, even my non-Lucy friends were awol from my life. Admittedly, that was my fault, but still.

"And, anyway," Lucy continued, undeterred by my melancholy hums, knowing full well they were only full of me missing her, "that was when I knew, without a single doubt, that I would never be a true British monarch."

"You'd never be a fake one, either."

"Never say never, Half-Pint."

I laughed. "Okay, fair. Let me guess, your birthday?"

"Or Halloween. Lots of ways and reasons to dress up and fake monarch here."

I grinned, rolling my eyes at her. "When will you be back again?"

Lucy sighed. "Not for weeks."

"Oh, God. Weeks? It's already been weeks!"

"I know!" She cried.

I shoved more fries in my mouth and chewed slowly. I didn't want to be so obviously upset by this news. "So much could happen in a few weeks."

Lucy was rolling her eyes-I didn't see it, but I didn't have to. "Sure. You could get married, have kids, all before I get my return flight from Heathrow."

"I'm just _saying_." I grumbled. "Listen, I promise not to get married until you come back to Seattle. Scout's honor!"

There was a loud shuffling noise from her side of the line and then a quick, "Oh, damn."

"Something wrong?"

"Sorry, Half-Pint. I have to get going. I'll see you soon."

We hung up after a few more long, gushy goodbyes that both Lucy and I were going to pretend didn't happen. I shot Mom a quick text about our weekly dinner-Sunday night, seven o'clock, I bring the dessert-and tossed my trash into the can across from my bed. The burger wrapper missed and fell to the ground.

I ignored it, talking to Mom a bit before turning in for the night. I was exhausted, but still knew I was going to miss the assignment when it was over. I fell asleep dreaming about promotions.

XxX

I was halfway through reviewing the notes marketing had sent me, and three-fourths of the way through my Americano, when the phone rang. I reached for it blindly with one hand while the other lifted the coffee cup to my mouth.

"Diamond." I said, eyes scanning over the email still pulled up on my computer screen.

My uncle's voice cut me off short. "James, my office."

I sat the coffee cup down quickly, frowning. "Hey, I've been on time! Early, even."

Harris sighed. It was that long, heavy one that curled around me for a week after. I was sure he'd learned it from my mother. "Just...get up here. You're giving me a migraine."

I threw my hands up in defeat, even though he couldn't see me. Cradling the phone against my shoulder, I typed out a quick email to the marketing department that I would get on the revisions soon, and then hung up on Harris.

When I made it up to my office, I froze.

The door slamming behind me had two heads whipping in my direction. My jaw clenched, and I glared at Kendall's smirking face. "What is _he_ doing here?"

Normally, Kendall was the aggressor in this pissing match we had, but if he honestly thought I was going to roll over while he reported me again, he had another thing coming.

Harris interrupted Kendall when he opened his mouth, eyes shooting daggers at me. "Enough, both of you. James, sit down."

Begrudgingly, I sat in the chair next to Kendall across from Harris's desk. Kendall squirmed in his seat, clearly wanting to snipe at me, but unwilling to be unprofessional in front of his boss.

Idiot.

I turned to my uncle and shot him my nicest grin. "I don't know what Kendall has been saying, Harris, but-"

He waved me off and rolled his eyes. Kendall shot me a pinched look, and I fought the urge to say something else.

"I didn't call you in here to yell at you." Harris said slowly, eyebrows raising. I considered that, forcing myself to not turn or fidget. He smiled at us, looking at us both carefully and appraisingly. "I have a project for you."

My spine stiffened. Kendall sat straight up in his seat, his face immediately shifted to something hungry and eager.

"Um, sir?" Kendall prompted.

Harris cracked a smile. "It could be a way for you to move up the ladder here. Both of you. I know you've both been hoping to bring something more to the table, to advance in the company, and I want you to know that we notice that kind of thing here. Kendall, you have a great track record. James, your help with the Heymans account has been important."

I couldn't help it. I stole a glance at Kendall. His eyes were wide, expression nearly stunned in surprise. I could feel nerves building in my chest.

I turned to Harris quickly. "Is this, like, a competition?"

"No." Harris said firmly. He placed both hands on his desk. "We have a... _sensitive_ package that needs to be delivered to a client in Los Angeles."

"You want us to facilitate the delivery?" Kendall frowned.

Harris shook his head. "It's not suitable for air travel. It needs to be delivered in person. I need someone I trust on this."

"So you want us to, what, drive to LA?"

"I think," Kendall said deliberately, shooting me an exasperated look. "What James is _trying_ to ask is: What, precisely, do you need from us?"

"I need you to drive to LA and hand-deliver a package to one of our most important clients. The contents of the package are non-replaceable."

"That's, like, forty hours of driving." I pointed out.

Harris threw his hands up. "Well, if you're not up to the task-"

"Hey, hey, no, I didn't say that!"

"Sir, I would be _happy_ to complete the task myself."

I glared at him. "Oh, I'm _sure_ you would."

Kendall glared right back.

Harris muttered something under his breath that I couldn't quite hear. It took all my energy to not glare at him, too.

I sighed. "Why not send a courier?"

"The package is, as I said, irreplaceable. I'd drive it myself, but I trust both of you. Of course, you're both fully able to say no-"

Kendall and I interrupted him with a loud litany of protests. He smiled. "Good."

"When do we leave?" Kendall, straight down to business.

At the same time, I asked, "What's in the package?"

Harris pinched the bridge of his nose and then smoothed out his expression. "Confidential, for our client's privacy. You'll need to leave immediately."

"I have dinner with Mom." I blurted out.

Kendall shot me an incredulous look. "I, of course, will cancel any plans I have."

Harris's mouth pinched. I recognized it as him trying not to laugh. "Leave in the morning. Take a company car, if you want."

"My car works fine." I said.

Kendall rolled his eyes, I quirked an eyebrow. There was a beat before we both looked away, conceding the fight before it began. For now...

Harris didn't notice the tip-toeing of our battle plans. He was shuffling through papers. "Here." He shoved an envelope at Kendall. I tried not to take it personally.

Kendall flipped through the contents and then handed it to me. Inside were directions to the client's drop-off location, contact information, and where to get the package before we left.

Harris dismissed us. I saluted, he rolled his eyes, Kendall shook his hand firmly. Fuck, he was such a suck-up.

We walked quietly to the elevator. Kendall was practically bouncing where he stood. His enthusiasm was a little hard to be annoyed at, even if he was a dick most of the time. I punched the down button. "So, I'll pick you up eight."

His head whipped to me quickly. "Who said you're driving?"

"Uh, I've seen the sack of shit car you drive. We're taking mine."

His eyes narrowed. "We could take a company car."

"Then we'd have to wait until at least ten to rent it out, and get on the insurance, and it'd be a whole big thing. No, we'll just take my car."

Kendall's lips pursed together. His mind was whirling for an excuse so bad I could see the smoke coming out the top.

"Fine." He said at last, a look of utter defeat crossing his expression. He pulled out his phone at tapped aggressively. "I just airdropped my address to you."

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone, nodding. "Okay. Eight?"

"Eight." He agreed, sighing heavily. We stepped onto the elevator and he punched the button. "I can't believe I have to drive all the way to LA with _you_."

"Aww." I said. I leaned against the corner of the elevator, crossing my ankles and grinning. "I'm a delight."

"You're a pariah to society."

"Knight, you are a treasure to society."

"Shut up." He grumbled, crossing his arms. I laughed.

He stormed out as soon as the elevator cracked open, shifting his hips so he could slide between the still-moving doors.

I cracked up, quickly texting Lucy what had just happened as I made my way back to my desk.

Sure, a road trip with Kendall Knight wasn't my _favorite_ way to spend a weekend, but at least he'd be twice as miserable as I was. And Lucy always did love a good Kendall story.

* * *

In a surprising turn of events, James showed up on my curb at exactly eight a.m.

I had a duffle bag full of clothes, the package that needed to be delivered, and a Thermos full of coffee in my hand. The bad mood that had clung to me the past few weeks finally lifting.

I might not have been looking forward to spending much time with James, of all people, but this was my chance. This random-but-important errand was going to be the thing that got me out of the mediocre middle ground of the corporate ladder.

Not even James could ruin that excitement. I waved a little as he came to a stop by my house.

"Hey." I tossed the duffle into the backseat and slid into the front. It was a nice car. I didn't know much about cars, but this one seemed nice. I couldn't remember seeing it in the parking lot at work.

It was a sleek black Volvo, the inside dark leather. I wouldn't say it to him, but it was a good thing that we were taking his instead of my old blue Chevy. It would not be half as comfortable, let alone get gas mileage as good as this thing probably would.

"Hey." James' radio was playing some old rock song. He bobbed his head along to it, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. His other hand was curled around a coffee cup.

It was an extra large from a coffee shop near work. I'd gone there once, my first week at the office. It was one of those artisanal, expensive joints.

I buckled my seatbelt, and after giving me an appraising look, he took a gulp of his coffee and threw the car into drive. We shot off the curb fast enough that I let out a quick, surprised curse. I tightened my grip on the folder of information.

"You drive like a maniac." I said.

James rolled his eyes. "Dude. Forty hours."

I shrugged one shoulder. I'd much rather get there in forty-two hours and survive, but, hey. I flipped through the documents one more time, even though I mostly had them memorized from going over them last night.

"Hey, if we take Route 150 South, then-"

"Nope." James barely glanced at me, interrupting my suggestion. "I mapped it on my phone."

"But the documents-"

"Harris is a thousand years old." James said. He reached for his coffee again. It bumped against my thermos. "We're not taking directions from a literal map. We can just use an app."

I pursed my lips together. _Don't fight_ , I reminded myself.

There was no real benefit of arguing with James. We were stuck together in his car, and even though Harris said that this would be a good opportunity for both of us, everyone knew that Harris had a soft spot for James.

They got along easier than I did with any of the higher-ups. While I was sort of sure that James wouldn't openly badmouth me to the boss, he probably wouldn't shy away from telling Harris if I was openly hostile.

"Fine." I said after a moment. "Do you want to plan the stops now? I'm thinking we can switch every four hours, grab some lunch after the first switch?"

James waved me off dismissively. "No need. I like driving."

I frowned. "That's insane. I can drive at least half."

"Nope." James said. "My car, my rules."

"We could have taken a rental!" My fingers creased into the papers, and I forced myself to relax, to keep from jumping out of the car right then and there.

"No need. This baby drives smooth." He winked, then started to rattle off various details about the car.

I interrupted him. "I… Look, I really don't care."

I winced at the shortness of my voice and glanced over.

James' lips were twitching as if he were amused, eyes staying on the road almost purposefully. I felt less bad.

I considered arguing more. It was ridiculous-there was no way James could drive the entire way to and from Los Angeles, especially when another fully capable driver was sitting _right here_.

I could talk about all the ways that driving so much was dangerous. It was bad for the body, but also, he was more likely to crash his car. He seemed to like his car-maybe that would work. Or I could argue that it was my job, my duty-Harris had chosen _both_ of us, and I wasn't about to let him do more of the legwork so he could one-up me.

I drank my coffee slowly, considering my various options. Regardless of what I did, I was trapped with James for-I checked my watch-at least 39 hours and forty minutes. I needed to play nice.

James hummed along to the music playing. I didn't recognize it. I didn't really listen to rock music. Ambient work tunes, sure, or whatever indie band Camille was into that week.

But I wasn't really into any particular type of music myself. Logan said that was weird. I told him he was a dick. We agreed there was a difference in opinions preventing us from seeing eye to eye.

I drank the rest of my coffee slowly. Even though I was used to being up this early-hell, I would normally have been in the office for an hour already-it was different. I couldn't lose myself in work, couldn't dive into my cubicle and ignore the rest of the world while going over customer complaints and expense reports.

Normally, I did everything I could to avoid spending any amount of time with James. Now, it was taking everything in me to not stare openly at him.

I didn't think I'd ever seen James drive before. Of course, I got to work before him and left after him most days, so it wasn't like we'd be leaving the lot at the same time. But even before work, in college, I couldn't remember a time when he'd been behind the wheel.

It seemed impossible now, watching him on the road. He looked more relaxed here than he did anywhere else I'd ever seen him. I briefly wondered if that was safe, if he was actually using any brain cells at all.

One hand was curled around the steering wheel, a loose grip that was nothing like the ten and two I drove at. His other sat on top of his coffee cup, which had been long empty but still occupied the cup holder. He had a thick ring on his middle finger, a dented silver band. Had he always worn that? It looked like a wedding band.

I snuck a glance at his face. Surely I would know if James had been _married_. We'd been in each other's lives for far too long for that to be a surprise.

He quirked an eyebrow before looking over at me. "What?"

"Just wondering if you're purposefully trying to kill us." I sniped automatically. He rolled his eyes and went back to staring at the road. In my defense, he _was_ driving ninety in a seventy-five zone.

I had never really taken the time to study James. Physically, at least. I knew everything about his grade stats, every promotion and side project he'd gotten since we started at Spectrum. But I had never really looked at the guy. I'd spent all of my time avoiding it, actually.

His hair was wild, like he didn't do anything to it after rolling out of bed this morning. It was entirely unprofessional. Compared to my styled hair, he looked like a frat boy.

Underneath that unkempt mess, he did have a strong yet delicate face. His cheekbones were sharp, jaw nearly deadly enough to cut glass. He had really bright hazel eyes, too. I couldn't see them right now, with his gaze focused on the highway in front of us, but I knew they would be an intense hazel, framed with long lashes and perpetually quirking eyebrows.

He had a handsome face. I was sure it had paved the way for the carefree, easy life he led.

I pivoted to look out the window. Gripping the thermos tightly in my hands, I tried to shake the thoughts out of my head. I didn't need to be getting distracted by...what? By James' good looks?

I was jealous, that was all. I was jealous that everything came so easily to him, that he had never had to work at anything.

I ignored him as best I could. We only made it another thirty miles down the road before he was singing loudly to the songs to the radio, grinning as he blared Bon Jovi loudly enough to burst my eardrums.

I glared at him, feeling even as I did how weak it was. "You could not be more annoying." I said.

James grinned, winking, and turned the radio up louder. He started to pound on the steering wheel with his hands. I could feel the beat of the music in my bones.

I groaned and ran my hands down my face. James stopped singing long enough to laugh loudly at me.

At noon, we stopped for gas and burgers. "We could just eat while we drive." I suggested.

James looked at me like I had suggested we drive off a cliff. "Fuck that."

"What? Are you kidding? We'll save an hour!"

"We are _not_ bringing food into my baby."

"If you aren't a good enough driver to eat, I'd be happy to take over." I smiled as nicely as I could.

James pointed his finger at me, glared, and then jabbed the air again before storming past me into the diner.

I rolled my eyes and followed him. "Hey." I shoved at his shoulder lightly. He spun around with narrowed eyes. "You can't just ignore everything I suggest."

"Oh, wow, good point." He said, sarcasm dripping off his every syllable. "But you can't keep suggesting dumb things."

"It's not dumb for me to drive!" I threw my hands up in frustration. A few of the diner patrons turned to look at us. I fought the urge to flip them off.

"It is." He insisted firmly, before turning around and storming off to a booth. He slid into one side and grabbed a menu, hunching down so it covered his face.

I grumbled under my breath about hostile working environments and sat across from him. My foot tapped incessantly against the linoleum floor. I could practically _see_ James' hackles rise at the sound but, surprisingly, he stayed quiet.

I didn't bother to open the menu. The waiter came with a wary look on his face.

"Um, welcome to Bobby's." He glanced between us as if we were going to yell at him. I felt momentarily guilty for not yelling at James outside, away from the diner staff. "What can I get you guys?"

James set the menu down and quirked an eyebrow at me. I was going to shave them off, I really was. "Can I get a water to drink, and then a hamburger with a side salad, please?"

The guy scribbled on his menu. "Dressing?"

"Italian on the side."

James was looking at me again, his face scrunched up and cocked slightly to the side, as if I were confusing to him. The waiter turned to him.

"I'll have a Coke." He said, tearing his eyes away from me to smile politely at the waiter. "And I'll have the Bobby's Burger special, please."

The waiter nodded. "Of course. Do you want that with a fried egg on top? Onion rings on the side or fries?"

"How about _yes_?" James grinned. The waiter laughed. And I felt nauseous just considering it.

"All right, I'll get that in for you guys."

I kept tapping my foot. James leaned with his head on his fist, scrutinizing me. I tried not to fidget under his gaze.

Something about his steady glare was exactly like Harris's. It made me just as nervous to sit under James' eye as it did my boss's, and that, alone, ticked me off.

I pulled out my phone and scrolled through the text messages I'd gotten so far. One from Grandma, God bless her, reminding me to check in, signed with her full name. Two from Logan, and one from Camille telling me to ignore Logan because she was mad at him. I typed out responses to them.

"Is your phone actually on this time?"

Heat burned my ears. I glared at my phone, but refused to answer him. He chuckled.

Our food came fairly quickly. The waiter dropped off our drinks and came back with my burger and salad. It took him two trips to bring all of James' food.

His burger was steaming, dripping with grease. I had never seen so much cheese on a single item of food before. He had a plate of onion rings and a bowl of fries, and my stomach hurt just looking at it.

"Oh my god." He groaned, tugging the plate closer to him. "This is heaven."

"That," I jabbed my fork at him. "Is a heart attack waiting to happen."

He took a bite, practically unhinging his jaw. I scrunched my nose as him.

With much more enthusiasm than was entirely necessary, James devoured his lunch. He ate with such big bites his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk's.

I contemplated the benefits of him dying on this road trip. I'd get time off, probably, for the trauma, and the promotion would be mine, hands down.

He offered me an onion ring. I finished my salad, ignoring him.

When we got back on the road, I was pretty sure that James was going to pass out at the wheel. When I commented on that, he glared at me and turned the music up louder.

We stopped for gas once more. I tried my hand at convincing him to let me drive again, but James threatened to buy me Powerade instead of flavored water, so I gave in and stayed in the passenger seat.

I did manage to convince him to change the radio station to something less head-banging hair bands. James glared at me for that and muttered something about uncultured swines, but at least there wasn't any more REO Speedwagon playing.

It was even more difficult now ignoring him than it had been before lunch. His every move seemed to grate against my skin, his every breath loud, pressing against me. I couldn't stop myself from staring at him, from noticing the way his jaw twitched when he was passing someone on the road, his spine straightening when he recognized a song. How my own spine tingled in response to him singing out loud.

Even the car's scent-citrus, bright, clean-seemed to pale in comparison to him. His shampoo, or something, smelled like oak trees and honey maple, a heavy scent that clung to me every time the car turned a little.

I wanted to fling the car door open and let the road take me. I was here for work, and yet all I could think about was how aggravating James was. If there was ever a time to keep my guard up around James, it was on this trip.

I forced myself to lean against the door, closing my eyes, and tried my hardest to ignore James.

At some point, I must have dozed off. I woke up with a sharp jolt. James yawned loudly. I jumped at the sound, head hitting the window I was leaning against.

He laughed, and I glared at him. "Jerk."

"Not my fault you're sleeping on the job."

"The job?" I huffed. "You won't let me _do_ anything."

"It's my car!" James slapped his hand on the wheel. He sounded angry, but his lips were twitching.

"Do you ever take anything seriously?"

He gave me and arched look. "As seriously as you?"

"Yes." I crossed my arms.

He smiled. "Nope."

I groaned. I wanted to punch him. He winked at me, and looked _way_ too delighted by my frustration.

"You're so annoying." I said.

He shrugged one shoulder. I sighed. My head was starting to pulse. "Can we please pull over for the night? You're going to fall asleep at the wheel."

"It's only eight o'clock."

"Yes." I gritted my teeth. "And if we had been switching off _like I said_ , then you wouldn't be so exhausted."

"I'm not exhausted-"

"James. I'm going to kill you."

James pursed his lips together. His eyes were bright, laughing at me with his just his appeasing look. Then his expression smoothed out and he nodded. "Okay. We're like halfway there anyway."

I let out a sigh of relief. If I could just get _away_ from him for a little bit, everything would be fine. We pulled into a motel lot, and I practically leapt out of the car.

"I've got the company card." James said pointlessly. I knew that. He'd been paying for all the gas. "I'll go check us in. Then we can grab some food?"

I nodded. "That sounds good."

James smiled at me, offering me a quick salute before walking off toward the motel lobby. I leaned against the car and sighed heavily.

 _Come on, Knight,_ I thought to myself. _Pull yourself together._

This trip was going to be the end of me.

* * *

 **Done! So, it looks like it'll be an...interesting trip for these two, to say the least. :P**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed! I'm not completely sure when the next chapter will be up, but it will definitely be up by Wednesday at the latest.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter alert!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Side1ways, Guest, RainbowDiamonds, and XxxAnimaniacxxX for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

The motel keys dangled from my hands as I made my way back to Kendall.

He had been moody all day, bouncing back and forth between sniping at me and pretending like I wasn't there.

I hoped a good meal and some sleep would get the stick out of his ass. Otherwise, tomorrow would be just as long and just as annoying.

Hell, I knew the guy didn't like me, but it wasn't _my_ fault I existed. He could at least cut me _some_ slack.

We took our bags to our rooms, adjoining, with a door that Kendall emphasized would stay shut. I rolled my eyes. Like I had always said: Kendall Knight was a dramatic bitch.

The woman who checked us in said that there was a pizza parlor across the street. I led Kendall the way she pointed, and soon enough, we were situated in a booth with a large pepperoni pizza between us.

Kendall's eyes were huge when he watched me grab my second slice. "How the hell are you still hungry?"

"What?" I swallowed the hot food and winced. "Dude, lunch was eight hours ago."

"You ate more at lunch than I do in a week." He was still staring at me incredulously.

"Oh, right, I forgot you're trying to keep your slim figure." I winked at him. His face seemed torn between scowling and blushing sheepishly. I fought the urge to laugh by taking another bite.

I ate slowly, trying to see how many slices I could get through before Kendall threw in the towel and inevitably started to make fun of me again. It was entertaining, at least, to see him squirm.

I'd noticed the looks all day, of course. The confused ones, the sharp ones-he'd been unable to keep his eyes off of me most of the time.

Normally, Kendall stared at me like I was scum beneath his shoe. Now, he was looking at me warily, like I was something dangerous.

I'd always assumed that Kendall was straight. He never seemed interested in any guys during college, even though pretty much everyone was experimenting and coming out. I wracked my brain to try and remember if he had ever dated anyone, male or female.

He'd hung out with that guy Logan a lot, but Logan had been with his girlfriend since before I had even known him. And I doubted that a goody-goody like Kendall would be a _cheater_. Ah, the moral implications! The guilt!

The looks Kendall had been giving me in the car were a little bit like he wanted to jump my bones. But maybe for Kendall, that look meant he wanted to _break_ my bones. It wasn't a far leap. He was not the most considerate guy I'd ever met.

He was quiet as we ate. I couldn't think of a thing to say to him besides, "Are you planning on killing me?" And I figured that would _really_ make things awkward.

I threw another slice of pizza on his plate when I grabbed my third. He opened his mouth to protest, but narrowed his eyes and stayed quiet instead.

"You must have the world's smallest stomach."

Kendall took a bite, rolling his eyes as he chewed slowly. "I'm not a gluttonous monster."

"Sure." I leaned against the back of the vinyl both, grabbing my cup. I sucked from the straw and considered the way that Kendall was avoiding my eyes. "So. What do you think the mystery package is?"

Kendall frowned. "None of my business."

 _Boring-ass follower_ , I thought. "We could always open it. It's not even sealed."

"No!" Kendall shook his head.

I tapped my fingers against the top of the booth. "O _kay_. Well. What do you think the promotion is?"

Kendall sighed and gave me a hard look.

I ran my fingers through my hair, trying my best to crush the angry frustration that was building at his complete reluctance to speak.

He cleared his throat and wadded up his napkin, throwing it against the table. "Give me the credit card."

"What?" I cocked my head.

Kendall took a deep breath. "I'm going to go pay." He said slowly, like he wasn't sure if I could follow. "But I need the company card first. Give it."

I huffed, but grabbed the card from my wallet and tossed it to him, He caught it easily and gave me a mocking smile in thanks.

I grabbed another slice of pizza and bit off the crust, glaring at him as he made his way to the counter. _Dick._

He could at least _pretend_ not to hate my guts. We were stuck on this trip for at least another three days, and if Kendall kept hurling angry glares at me, I was going to punch him.

I was a nice guy. I was happy to make small talk and pleasantries. Hell, I'd be Kendall's friend, if he stopped being an asshole.

I never turned _him_ into the company's CEO when he was late, and I'd only ever eaten his lunch from the office kitchen _once_ , and I'd even felt bad about it. This guy could put in one percent of the effort I did, and I'd be happy as a clam.

But nope. He came back to the table already glaring.

He had a to-go box and a doggy bag and started to load up the leftovers. He shoved it at me. "For when you inevitably get hungry again."

"I'm growing." I quipped.

Kendall gave me a once over and shrugged. "Much like a child."

"Fuck off, thanks."

Kendall scoffed. He grabbed his jacket, and without giving me a half second to follow, left the parlor. I scrambled out of my seat and followed.

 _Such a dick._

XxX

Even though we'd been driving all day, I wasn't the least bit tired when I got back to my motel room. I had unused energy buzzing beneath my skin, begging me to not have the absolute most boring day possible.

Unfortunately, the motel had five channels and a questionable-looking bedspread. My options were limited by more than just energy levels.

It took everything in me to not think constantly about Kendall, and even everything didn't help that much. Every three thoughts, my mind would rotate back to Kendall's careful disdain and casual disinterest, and I'd be just as mad as I had been.

I took a shower, changing into sweatpants and a t-shirt. I brushed my teeth, then ended up eating more pizza, and then brushed my teeth again.

I mapped the road we'd be taking tomorrow, and looked at diners along the way that promised the world's best pie. I even tried to watch baseball.

Nothing helped.

And baseball was really fucking boring. I didn't like it, never had. I hated the entire concept of baseball. Even live, it was arguably the most boring sport imaginable. I didn't even know why I was trying to watch it now, in this crappy budget motel.

Except I also knew _exactly_ why I was watching baseball.

I called Lucy on the phone. She answered after a half dozen rings.

"Bitch, it's five-thirty in the morning."

I winced. "Um...sorry?"

"I'm going to fucking kill you."

"Can't do that until you get back." I said.

She huffed loudly. "What the hell do you want?"

I felt my face heat up. It seemed dumb now. "I...I'm watching baseball."

Lucy was quiet for a beat, and then there was the shuffling of blankets. "You haven't done that in a while."

"I know." I watched as the pitcher threw the ball. God, this was a terrible game. My chest ached.

"What's got you thinking of...him?"

Lucy knew better than to say his name. _Dak._

When I was seventeen, my then-boyfriend had loved baseball. He was the captain of our school's team, the only openly-gay guy in school, and somehow still the most popular guy in the entire tri-state area. I'd always hated baseball, but I would watch it, every week, for him.

Dak died in a car accident a month before our one-year anniversary.

God, I missed him sometimes. It had been a long time. Years and years, a lifetime ago. But sometimes, I just missed him. Or missed how I remembered him; missed being really _known_ by someone. Missed _having_ someone.

"Want me to come back? I can be there in, like, twenty hours."

"No." I said quickly, trying to keep Lucy from jumping on a plane. "I'm fine."

"Did you do a lot of driving today?" She asked.

I shrugged. "Yeah, but, you know. I still do drive."

"Not often." She said gently.

I swallowed around a lump in my throat and ignored it, pivoting the conversation. "I didn't call to talk about Dak. I called to talk about how _annoying_ Kendall is. I just...this guy just _gets_ to me. He's-"

"He? As in boring-ass-suck-up-work guy?"

"I think that's his given Christian name."

"Shut up. You're on your work trip, right?"

"Yeah." I shrugged even though she couldn't see me. "I'm just mad."

"And when you're mad you like to wallow." Lucy said knowingly.

I protested anyway. "I'm not wallowing."

"Yes, you are!" Lucy said firmly. Her voice had lost its sleep heaviness, and I was being attacked by the full brunt of Mama Lucy Parenting. I should have called my actual mother. She'd be way more sympathetic.

"You're mad that this guy doesn't like you, and instead of dealing with it, you're wallowing."

"I refuse that analysis."

"Non-refundable." She said. "Look, I get it. It's almost the anniversary, and this guy reminds you that you're a dick-"

"Hey! I'm not the dick in this situation."

"Kind of are."

"I'm sad about my dead boyfriend. Can't you be nice?"

"I would if I thought you were actually sad about him. I know you are, but I also know that's not really what this is about."

I sighed heavily. My head hit the back of the bed frame and I winced, rubbing at the sore spot. "If Dak was here...I don't know. Maybe he'd kick Kendall's ass."

"You could just kick Kendall's ass."

"Good point."

"Half-pint, stop being such a brat and go _deal with it_."

The announcer was talking about innings. God, baseball was boring. Lucy was mean. Calling her had been a bad plan.

"I've tried to talk to him. _Numerous_ times."

"But did you try to talk to him about why he won't talk to you?"

I didn't answer. She groaned. "Go be an adult, and then call me during _normal talking hours_."

"Fine. Goodnight, love you."

"Love you." She hung up before the last syllable got out.

Admittedly, I felt better after talking to Lucy. I always did.

Before I could lose my nerve, I turned off the TV and grabbed my shoes. Slipping them on quickly, I walked the short distance to Kendall's room.

I banged on the door incessantly, not caring how annoying the sound was. I heard the TV cut off and his shuffling steps before the door swung open.

"What the hell?" He said harshly, eyes wide but still glaring at me. It was an impressive angry look.

He had also changed already, though his sweatpants were snugger than mine and cut off at the ankles. His t-shirt was at least three sizes too big and fell off one shoulder, exposing his collarbone and the smooth, pale skin there.

I tore my eyes away from it and glared at him. "What the fuck is your problem?"

Kendall's eyebrows shot up to his forehead and his mouth fell open. "Uh, you coming and banging on my door, for starters?"

The adrenaline in my body was turning into rage and I jabbed my finger against his chest. "No, you Scorpio-Sun, Aries-Moon _bitch_ , what is your problem with _me_?"

He blinked at me. I felt my chest heaving, and dropped my hand to cross my arms and glare back at him.

Kendall waited a breath, and then two. I could practically see the gears turning in his head as he weighed his options.

" _You_. You are my problem."

"I didn't do anything to you!" I threw my hands up.

He closed the space between us, crowding me. "You get everything you want with absolutely no effort! You don't care about anyone, or anything, and you just keep _getting ahead_ , and it's unfair! Life isn't some easy-breezy bullshit for the rest of us, you know."

I felt the breath shoot out of me like a punch. "I-"

"You show up to work late every day, and nothing happens! _You_ get the Heymans account, you'll probably get this promotion, even though I work twice as hard!"

Kendall gave me a scathing look, eyes dragging up and down as he spat his assessment of me. "You're a privileged asshole who doesn't care that you haven't actually earned any of the shit you have."

Shock had me frozen to the concrete my feet were planted on. There were dozens of things I could say. I could tell him how hard I work, contrary to popular belief. I could tell him what a flawed assessment he had of me, and that not everyone had to be a damn martyr, but nothing came out.

I just blinked at him, just noticing how close he was to me.

I took a half step backward and considered just fleeing. Calling Uncle Harris and telling him that nope, this was not going to work, he needed to just send a damn courier like a normal company.

But then Kendall pounced forward, hands fisting in my t-shirt, and he dragged me to him. There was a beat, for half a second, when our chests were touching, and my hands had flown up and grabbed him by the elbows, where there was a chance for us to stop. For me to knock him away, for him to let me go.

We held our breaths. Neither of us moved.

And then Kendall kissed me.

His lips were soft, the pillowy press of them a gentle intoxication against mine. He tasted like the sharpness of mint, like he'd just brushed his teeth, and his tongue swept across my bottom lip with a slow, languid drag.

I parted my lips, dragging him closer to me. My fingers dug into his skin, his hands relaxing until one was curled around my neck and the other flat-palmed against my chest. I chased his tongue with mine, tasting the roof of his mouth, feeling the low groan inside of his chest.

Then, just as quickly as it had happened, Kendall was gone.

I stumbled from the loss, slamming into the door just as it was thrown shut. My forehead leaned against the door, my chest heaving as I tried desperately to catch my breath.

Carefully, I turned so my back was against the door. My legs pushed out in front of me, barely supporting me, they felt so weak.

I raised two fingers to my lips and pressed against hem. They felt swollen and warm.

Damn. That was unexpected…

* * *

My mouth was on fire.

I locked the motel room door and flipped the deadbolt, as if James could somehow get the first lock undone. Turning off the lights, I flung myself onto the bed.

My heart hammered wildly in my chest. I pulled the blanket up over head, clenching my eyes shut.

James knocked on the door a few times. I ignored him and pretended to be asleep.

What the _hell_ did I just do?

My stomach rolled. What had I done? _Why_ had I kissed him?

Kissed him. Oh, good God, I just kissed _James_.

A man.

Of all the truly stupid, truly terrible things I could have done, this had to be the worst. This had to have been one of the absolute dumbest things that anyone, anywhere, could do. It would have been better if I'd punched him.

Punching him wouldn't ruin my life. Sure, I'd get written up at work, but even Harris had to realize what an annoying pain in the ass James could be. Surely he wouldn't _fire_ me for punching him.

Or I could have kicked him in the balls. Even that would have been a much better option than kissing him.

I waited under the covers until I was sure James had made it back to his room. I heard baseball blaring from the other side. I turned on my own TV to drown his out. A home makeover show played, and I watched it mindlessly, trying to get my pulse to stop radiating out of my body.

I couldn't shake the image of James, lips already swollen and parted, eyes wide and surprised. I didn't know that I'd ever seen him that quiet, without smirking or laughing, for that long.

I shook my head almost violently, my neck hurting from the emphatic roll. I threw the covers off and went into the bathroom, yanking the hot water on.

I needed to stop thinking about that. I'd made a mistake. Bid deal. People made mistakes. People kissed.

 _Guys_ kissed. Just because I had never kissed a guy…

I jumped into the shower and scrubbed at my hair with the small, travel-sized shampoo. I listened to the TV blaring and thought about how many more hours we had to drive.

We'd driven for nearly twelve today. We could get the rest done tomorrow, make it to LA, maybe be back in four days instead of five.

The shampoo smelled like oranges. The sharp burst of citrus reminded me of being in James' car, of the warm sun beaming into the hot black leather, of James being just a half foot away.

We'd be back in that car tomorrow. I could reach over, grab him, feel his large, warm hands press against me. My elbows still burned from where he had touched me-innocent, practically, in the way he'd grasped at me.

I couldn't fight against the onslaught of wonder, the desire to know what it would feel like if his hands weren't just clutching me in surprise, but moving, exploring-

I yanked the water over to cold.

 _Get. Control. Now._

I finished my shower as quickly as possible, nearly shivering by the time I climbed out and dried off.

"It's no big deal." I said out loud. My voice cracked, and I shook my head. The mirror was halfway between foggy and clear. I stared hard at my reflection and brushed my teeth for a second time, scrubbing vigorously.

"So it's the first time you kissed a guy." My voice came out in a whisper. My skin was bright pink, and I couldn't tell if that was from the water, or the embarrassment coursing through me.

God, what if my grandparents found out?

They couldn't. They wouldn't. No one had to know. Well, James knew, but-

James might tell someone else…

Waves of nausea had me rolling into bed, covering myself up with the covers again.

Out of all the guys in the world, why did I have to go and kiss _him_? He was such a dick. Of course he'd tell everyone. He'd go straight into the Quad with a t-shirt that said _I Kissed Kendall_ on it.

I'd have to move to a new state. Get a new job, maybe a false identity. I could go by Trevor or Thomas, something innocuous.

Or maybe I could learn to live in the wilderness. There was some camping gear at home. I could take it and grow a garden or something. Become a mountain man.

"Get a grip." I murmured to myself. Underneath the covers, the words sounded like they were echoing off of a canyon. I could still feel my heart beating too quickly in my chest.

I didn't need to flee the city. That was a bit overdramatic. It was a fluke. A mistake.

I would just have to ignore him completely, and pretend like nothing happened.

XxX

I woke up the next morning more alert than I had ever been. It was like I hadn't slept at all.

I dressed quickly and drank the sad, watery coffee that the motel room offered with little Styrofoam cups. It was disgusting, but made the horrifying alertness feel at least marginally deserved.

I had a text message from an unsaved number by the time my bag was all packed again. I frowned and opened it.

 _Meet at the car in fifteen? XOXO_

I could practically feel my face paling. I glared at the phone even as it, and my hand, shook. The phone buzzed again before I could think of an intelligent response.

 _This is James, by the way. In case you didn't save my number._

I huffed and threw the phone on the bed and made another pot of coffee. It was decidedly worse the second time.

I finished packing my bag and gave myself a quick once-over in the mirror. Despite the bruise-like dark circles under my eyes, I looked more or less normal. More or less like I hadn't kissed a guy. A guy who just happened to basically be my mortal enemy.

I groaned and splashed water on my face before grabbing my bag. I flung my coat over my shoulder and reluctantly grabbed my cell phone.

James' number had sent me a string of kissy-face emojis.

Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to go to the car.

The walk over took about thirty seconds, but it felt more like thirty years, like I was truly in purgatory. The thought of even facing James again was crippling.

His bag was nowhere in sight. James leaned against the body of the car, his legs long and stretched in front of him, crossed at the ankle. He was wearing a pair of light-wash jeans with a small rip in the knee. His t-shirt was plain white, but hung against his chest and shoulders snugly. I wondered if he'd picked that outfit just to punish me.

Then I promptly reminded myself that he could wear whatever he wanted, because some guy wearing anything wasn't punishment, because I did _not_ care.

I stopped a few feet short of him. His hair looked even worse today than it had yesterday, and he hadn't bothered shaving, giving himself a five o'clock shadow all along his jaw. His hazel eyes were a little bloodshot, as if he hadn't slept that great, either. Or like he had been crying...

I cleared my throat. He quirked an eyebrow. _Twelve-ish hours to home,_ I thought. _I could hitchhike._

James pushed off the car and swung a little toward me. He winked. "Hey."

"Uh, hey."

"No kiss good morning?"

I glared at him and elbowed my way past hime, making sure to hit him with my shoulder, and climbed in the front seat. He watched me as I struggled to throw my duffle in the backseat behind me before shaking head.

Crossing around, he took the driver's seat.

I sighed. "Any chance I'll get to drive today?"

James looked at me incredulously. "You're joking, right?"

"I am perfectly capable of driving." I said.

James clicked his tongue as he threw the car in reverse. "Tough shit."

I opened my mouth to argue, but he continued talking before I could. "Do you want coffee? I'm stopping for coffee."

I'd already had two, but I nodded anyway.

We swung through a Starbucks and James pulled the car to an idled stop, tilting his head at me as he stared at the menu. "What's your poison?"

"Uh, just a plain black."

"Boring." He said passively before ordering. "Yeah, we'll take a large black coffee, your house blend is fine, and then a large Americano. And, uh, hold on one second-" He glanced at me and said, quiter, "I'm getting food. Food?"

I nodded. He turned back to the menu. "And we'll take two of your egg croissant breakfast sandwiches, please."

We went through the drive-through and James handed me my food. He gulped down nearly half of his coffee before we even left the parking lot.

He perked up immediately. "How'd you sleep, Kendall?"

I jolted a bit it surprise and turned to look at him. He was staring out the windshield with his breakfast in one hand. "Um. Fine."

"Yeah?" He took a bite and chewed contemplatively before shrugging. "I figured you would have slept great, is all. After a kiss like that."

I cursed under my breath and shoved half my sandwich in my mouth to keep myself from saying something very dumb.

Doing my best to ignore the blaring radio and James' constant rattling of jokes- _Hey, you're not bothered that I'm such an amazing kisser, right?-_ I ate in silence.

I wanted to punch him. Or maybe kiss him again just to shut him up.

I recoiled from the thought quickly.

I did _not_ want to kiss him again. I hadn't even wanted to kiss him the first time!

It was...fight or flight. That was it. Just adrenaline. We were coworkers, so it wasn't like I could punch him. That kiss was the polite, coworker version of socking him in the face.

I turned to tell him that, but he was grinning, wide lips spread in a smile, his head bobbing a little with the music, and I felt my stomach flip.

Leaning my head against the window, I pretended to be asleep.

Apparently, despite years of evidence of the contrary, I had absolutely no self-control or willpower. No matter how many times I purposefully redirected my thoughts, I couldn't stop thinking about kissing James.

The problem was _him_. It was being _near_ him. I could hear his chest rumbling as he hummed to the crooning rock music, could smell that warm pine scent that I _knew_ wasn't his car, had to be the heady smell of his soap on his skin. I could feel the heat radiating off of his thigh, pressing against the outside of mine.

My chest felt like tight coiled wire. My stomach was flipping, full of confused, anxious butterflies. Even with my eyes closed, and a fake dream fluttering my eyelids, all I could think about was the warm feeling of James' tongue against mine.

I let myself imagine, just briefly, what it would be like. What it would mean to give in, to stop fighting, to admit things that didn't need admitting. I imagined not slamming the door in James' face last night, instead dragging him across the threshold.

The sounds he'd make if I'd pressed him against the cold door, crowded into his space completely-they'd be full of indignation at first, but then turn to whines, to pleas. He'd open up for me, strip out of his tight clothes, bare his skin and-

My eyes flew open.

Holy shit. _Get a fucking grip, Kendall._

James shot me a worried glance. "Are you okay?"

I pointed wildly out the window and, thankfully, his eyes moved there. "The rest stop?"

"Ye-" I cleared my throat and tried again, subtly dropping my hands to my lap. _Why_ had I tucked in my shirt? "Yes. I need to use the bathroom."

"Oh, okay." James flipped on the blinker and slowly took the exit.

I threw the door open as soon as the car was parked. The rest-stop bathroom was a disgusting place, and, luckily, exactly the sort of environment I needed. I felt the heat seep out of my veins and my body start to respond to my demand to _settle the fuck down_. Splashing water on my face, I glared at my reflection.

"Kendall," I said firmly. I had nowhere near the same hard tone as my grandparents but, fuck, it wasn't like I could call them and ask for advice. I glared even harder at the way my reflected skin paled at the thought. "Get. A. Grip."

I grabbed a paper towel and dabbed at my face. "So you kissed your coworker. So what if he is the worst person you know, and also the most entitled, and a brat, and the closest thing you have to a mortal enemy? Everyone makes mistakes. And, okay, he's a _he_ , and that is...not good. But! No one knows, and no one has to know. Plead the fifth. It's fine. It's fine!"

I wondered if my look of assurance was half as convincing as it needed to be. I looked frenzied even to myself. Maybe James wouldn't notice.

The bathroom stall opened and I jumped, cursing to myself as an older man came out from behind the door. "Oh, hi." My face burned with a bright blush. "I didn't realize anyone else was in here."

The man hummed a little in response, but otherwise didn't say anything. He crossed over to the sink, and I quickly jumped out of the way, blushing.

"You know," The man said, running his hands underneath the flowing faucet, "you could stand to take a little advice from someone who's been around the block once or twice."

"Um…" I swallowed past the embarrassment and tried to wrestle my expression into something polite. The man was wearing an old brown sweater that reminded me of something my grandfather owned. It made me miss him with a fierce ache, even if I was well into my twenties and could never tell him what was actually going on with me.

The man glanced at me and sighed happily. "I've been married to Glenda for sixty years. She's...she's the love of my life."

I couldn't help but smile back at him. "That's really nice. My grandparents have been together for a long time, too."

"Nobody thought we'd last." The man kept talking like I hadn't interrupted. "It's been sixty-two years, and no one believed we'd last a week! If I'd listened to everyone else, I'd have married Leila."

"Leila?"

"My would-be high school sweetheart. Till Glenda." He dried off his hands and turned to look at me. It was a little far-off, his look, a little bit like he wasn't really seeing me at all. He smiled softly. "Not a day goes by I don't thank my lucky stars that I didn't listen to anyone else but my heart."

I swallowed hard. "That's...really nice."

The man hobbled by, patting me on the shoulder twice before continuing on his way. "Leila was arrested ten years later for murdering six husbands, you know."

I blinked in surprise, turning around, but the man was already gone.

I let out a disbelieving chuckle. I had no idea how that related to _me_ , but, sure. It was nice to hear that sometimes love did prevail.

I used the restroom quickly and washed up before heading back to the car. James was leaning over the top, his head propped up on his hands. He straightened up when I walked over. "Ah, you survived. I'm glad."

I rolled my eyes and flung open the door before freezing.

Ignoring the issue at hand, sure. But ignoring James when he was clearly trying to be nice, especially when he had this huge thing to hold over me? Probably not such a good idea.

I took a deep breath. "Um… you, too?"

I glanced up and watched surprise blossom on James' face. He cocked his head, narrowing his eyes, before a small grin grew on his face. He slapped the roof of his car. "Let's get going."

* * *

 **Done! So, it seems that things are starting to take an interesting turn. :P**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter will be up sometimes this weekend.**

 **Until then! :D**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello everyone! New chapter alert!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Side1ways, Guest, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

The winding road down to LA was probably very beautiful. Warm sun, and bright green, leading into the burnt orange of desert.

I wouldn't know. We were taking the interstate.

It was on purpose that I was driving the entire forty hours by myself. I loved my car. She was a beautiful, lean, expensive sweetheart that I was unwilling to part with, even if it meant I got a break from the leg cramps. But more than that, the last time I'd let someone drive my car even when I knew it wasn't a good idea-

Well, Kendall wasn't going to get to drive. Even if he was a fantastic kisser.

And, fucking hell, he really was. It had been almost twenty-four hours, and I couldn't get the feeling of his mouth against mine out of my head. He'd kissed like he argued-sharp, sure, confident that he was going to win, but with just enough give that I could still take what I wanted.

It was overconfident and self-assured but good. Really, _really_ good. He'd tasted like Winterfresh and blueberries, and I was sure that he hadn't even _eaten_ blueberries that day, so I had no idea where that had come from, and-

Shit. I needed to stop thinking about that. About him.

I didn't know why Kendall had kissed me, and I didn't know if he'd do it again, but from the whiplash of hot and cold he'd been giving me ever since, the ball wasn't really in my court.

I had tried to make light of it, tease him a little, to get rid of the tension between us, but no dice. Kendall hadn't really responded to my humor the right way, and I didn't know how else to clear the air.

The guy sort of hated me, but I didn't have a problem with him. If he wanted to make out, I'd be game.

I shifted in my seat and ignored the heat that shot through my spine when he turned to look at me. My body felt jittery from a simple look that wasn't filled with malice. Good God, I was going insane.

"How are you driving a million miles an hour and we're still not there?"

I relaxed a little in my seat. _This_ was a Kendall I kind of understood. Whiny, annoyed at me as if I, myself, were personally responsible for the traffic. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel and hoped that the Journey blaring on the radio helped soften his annoyance at me. It was a great song.

"Good point." I said, tilting my head toward him as if in consideration. "I'll just quickly call every single other person on the fucking road and ask them to please get out of our way."

"Smartass."

"Whine bag."

"Whine bag?" Kendall shifted in his seat, the seat belt tugging as he turned to look at me incredulously. The traffic was slow enough that I could turn and watch as his face worked through the insult. He tried to hide it, but I'd spent enough time with Kendall hating me to see that this was amusement underneath the surface, not annoyance.

"I call it like I see it."

"You're an idiot."

"Ah, Kendall, I missed us." I shot him a wink.

His face twisted in a scowl, but his cheeks flushed a very pretty pink. He huffed and looked out the window, stealing the occasional glance at me that he pretended he wasn't.

Kendall reached over and hesitated, squinting his eyes at me in concentration, before flipping the radio station. I raised my eyebrows.

"Getting comfortable, are we?"

"Shut up." He replied automatically. I rolled my eyes but didn't turn the station back.

The rush-hour traffic was starting to become stifling. We'd just done a drive-through for lunch, sure that we'd be able to get to LA today, but now it seemed more likely that we'd just shrivel up and die here on the horrible freeway.

I tapped my thumbs on the steering wheel and watched Kendall out of the corner of my eye.

He was dressed in a loose green button-down today, untucked after his trip to the bathroom, and the material stretched across his shoulders nicely. It made his green eyes seem even brighter on the very few occasions he actually looked at me.

His bottom lip was bright red from being worried between his teeth the whole day, and now that I knew how great that lip could feel, it was taking everything in me to not slip my thumb over there to free it from the abuse. Nothing so great should be taking such a beating.

I hadn't thought about Kendall like this before-it had never occurred to me to want anything from him besides the semblance of respect.

 _He hates you_ , I reminded myself. What had he called me last night? Arrogant, selfish, something like that.

He hated me. If anything, the kiss had been an angry kiss-not that I'd be totally opposed to hate sex with the guy, but hell. I didn't want to make this aggressive coworker thing worse than it already was.

The traffic slowed again. We were at a standstill, and I sighed, letting my head fall back on the seat. I let go of the steering wheel and stretched out my hands, my fingers clenching and unclenching.

"This would be easier on you if you let me drive." Kendall said.

I cracked an eye open and gave him my best unimpressed look. He shrugged one shoulder, and I closed my eyes again.

The warm sun beat in through the windshield. My thoughts ran in a circle, asking again and again: why did he kiss me?

Kendall let out a strangled sound. I turned to him, frowning.

His eyes were wide, the bright green framed by raised eyebrows and a bright pink face. He had one hand on the car door handle, as if he were going to try and escape down the freeway.

I froze. I had asked, _out loud_ , why he'd kissed me.

Oh, shit.

"Kendall-"

"I-"

We both started at the same time and I froze, locking my muscles in place so I wouldn't bolt into traffic. It would be ridiculous if we _both_ ran from the car.

Kendall's face scrunched in concentration, as if answering this might kill him. The radio blasted an old rock song that I couldn't pinpoint. The blush on his cheeks spread, turning his ears and neck a soft pink. He looked trapped, like I'd thrown out a net and caught him.

I felt momentarily guilty before remembering that, first, _he'd_ kissed _me_ , and, second, I hadn't meant to ask him the question.

Traffic lurched forward.

"Fuck." I muttered, shaking my head, and slowly let go of the brake. The car rolled forward.

"I like you."

I slammed on the brakes hard enough that if we had been accelerating at all, it would have caused whiplash. Instead, it just caused a single horn honking and a string of curse words falling from my own lips.

"Um. Excuse me?"

Part of me could tell that I was laughing-openly laughing at him-but the shock was clouding the part of me that would normally feel bad about that.

Kendall glared at me. "I-I'm not joking."

Traffic stopped and I turned, looking at Kendall incredulously. "Wait. You're...you're serious?"

"This is why I never said anything."

"What are you talking about? You hate me."

"Yes." Kendall confirmed, sighing. He shrugged. "I also like you."

"Shouldn't they... I don't know!"

"Be mutually exclusive?"

"Yes!"

Kendall shrugged again. I was going to pull my hair out if he shrugged one more time.

"I knew you'd make a joke out of it."

"I-I'm not. I'm not _trying_ to, at least." I stumbled over the words.

My chest felt a little too full, like the rumbling was going to send something over. It didn't feel good. It didn't feel bad, either.

Every interaction I'd had with Kendall in the past week-hell, the past year, the past _few_ years-ran through my head, and I tried to understand it with this new information. I was spinning in circles. "I didn't even know you were into guys."

Kendall quirked an eyebrow; his blush was receding and his smile, soft and a bit tentative, was a new look on him. "The kiss didn't give it away?"

I blinked. "Um...no?"

Kendall rolled his eyes. I felt a little better. His annoyance made sense.

"I...I never hated you. Parts of you, sure. Of course. But...I don't know."

He glanced down to his lap and I had to lean a little, cocking my head to the side, to hear him all the way. "Honestly, I don't think I ever really hated you. I hated how I felt about you."

I hesitated. My throat was closing up, and I couldn't tear my eyes away from Kendall. Was he serious? Was this a trick?

I let myself think, just for a second, what it would mean for Kendall to like me; for me to like him back.

I swallowed hard and opened my mouth.

Kendall spoke quickly, before I had the chance to say anything. "We're never getting there tonight."

I felt my head spin a little at the sudden change of topic. I looked down at the clock. "We've got, like, five hours."

"Yeah." He shifted in his seat, settling with his chin nestled in his hand, looking out the window. His ears were back to being bright red.

I took a deep breath and let it go in a rush. "Let's stop. For the night."

Kendall stiffened, but didn't say anything.

"It's too late to deliver the package tonight, even if we do get there in five hours, and we've been in this car all day." I kept talking. "We can't deliver it tonight anyway, so logistically, it doesn't matter if we stay here or there, right?"

Slowly, Kendall sat back up. He had his bottom lip between his teeth. He nodded.

A burst of adrenaline swam through me. I ignored it.

It still took another half hour, but we finally reached the next exit. I pulled the car off the freeway and we found a small motel.

"Quick turn around." Kendall muttered. I rolled my eyes. He scoffed. "For tomorrow! It's near the exit."

"We can afford an extra five minutes."

"Maybe you can-"

"What are we even arguing about?" I interrupted.

His eyebrows furrowed. "I...don't know."

"Do you ever?" I asked.

His lips twitched. "Some of the time."

"Some of the time." I repeated, laughing.

He smiled, and it felt like a victory.

I grabbed the bags while Kendall checked us in. He came back out with two keys and dangled them. "One's got a king, the other a full. Dibs."

"Dibs on the full? Sure, no problem." I snatched the keys that he had motioned with when he said king.

His jaw fell and he lunged at me, trying to grab the keys out of my hand. I threw them to my other hand and held them behind my back.

He snuck an arm behind me to try and get them. I backed away, and he kept crowding me until my back hit the car and his hand curled around my closed fist. Our chests brushed.

I swallowed hard. "Um. Should we get dinner?"

Kendall's eyes were locked on my lips. They burned. His gaze snapped up to my eyes. "I'm...not hungry."

I took a deep breath; our chests pushed together. "Drink? In _my_ room?"

"You don't get the king-"

"I've got the keys, man!"

He huffed. Instead of clear annoyance, though, he was grinning. "Fine."

I'd dropped our bags onto the concrete, and we picked them up. I trailed after Kendall to the room and wiggled my eyebrows when I had to dart around him to unlock the door. He rolled his eyes.

This motel was a lot nicer than the one we'd stayed at last night. The walls were a light gray, the bed absolutely _gigantic_ , with a soft green comforter and about a dozen pillows. There was a mounted TV with a dresser underneath it, two nightstands, a little round table with two chairs in the corner, and a door leading off to the bathroom.

I dropped my bag by the bed and groaned as the AC cooled the sweat off my skin. "God, it feels good in here."

"I think I hate your car."

I flopped on the bed and cracked one eye open to glare at him. "Take that back."

"Nope." He set his bag down on a chair and toed off his shoes. Crossing over to the other side of the bed, he lay back on it. There was still enough room for two other people to lie between us.

"My car is great."

Kendall hummed. "This bed is better."

"Where's my drink?"

"Drinks were your idea." Kendall pointed out.

I frowned and tried to think of a way out of getting up. He laughed, and the bed moved. I heard the sound of his feet pattering on the carpet, the mini-fridge opening up, and he came back. "Here. There's beer."

I accepted the bottle. It was cold. I cracked it open. "This brand is some bougie shit."

"Like that's not your favorite."

"Whatever." I kicked off my shoes and scooted so my back was against the bed's headboard. I took a long pull of the beer. It might have been the best beer I'd ever had. "Don't say anything."

Kendall lifted one hand in surrender. He took a drink of his beer and I watched the way his throat moved as he swallowed.

I looked away. "So."

He clicked his tongue. "So."

Kendall had himself halfway propped up, his elbow digging into the bedding. His beer dangled from his hand almost precariously.

"This is…" Kendall struggled to find the word.

I smirked. "Awkward."

He glared at me. "It's nice."

Goddamn me, but I felt my smile soften. "Aw, hell. It is."

Kendall stretched and let his head fall. He held the beer a half a foot above him. I laughed. "You afraid of spilling that?"

"Uh, yes. Of course. This is"-he looked at me, eyes focused-" _my_ bed."

I tossed my head back, the laughter rumbling from my chest. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again: you're a Scorpio bitch."

Kendall laughed, the sound startling both of us. I grinned. He shook his head at me. "James, I don't even know what that _means_."

I scooted down the bed, lifting my beer up exaggeratedly high to mock him, and then lay back so we were lying next to each other. I turned to look at him. "I know. That's what makes it so funny."

"Do you just look for any opportunity to make fun of me?" Kendall asked as he turned his head. Our faces were inches from each other now. Our beers still hovering in the air.

I swallowed hard. I couldn't help but stare at him, taking in all of the little details I could make out from being so close.

"James?"

I blinked and swallowed again. "Um. Right. Yes."

"Yes?"

"Making fun of you. Yes."

"Oh."

I licked my lips. Kendall's eyes fell to them immediately.

"Can I-"

"James, I-"

We both froze.

And then, just as suddenly, we unfroze.

Kendall's lips were on mine-or maybe I was the one to move first, and it was my lips on his. It was desperate, harder, than our first kiss. Our first kiss had been a shock, the surprise keeping me mostly separate from the kiss. Now, I was hyper-present.

I bit at his lush bottom lip until he opened his mouth, a soft groan coming from his throat, and the intoxicating taste of blueberries and beer spilled onto my tongue.

My chest rumbled. I moved to roll over on top of him. A splash of beer spilled and we pulled apart from each other quickly, cursing.

"Fuck." My voice was already wrecked. I blinked down at him.

He smiled up at me, eyes glossy. "We should probably set these down."

I snatched Kendall's beer from his hands and leaned over him, putting one knee on either side of his hips to reach over the edge of the bed and set the beers on the floor.

From this angle, Kendall was spread out beneath me. His hands had flown up and settled on my thighs, very lightly touching me. His lips were parted, and his eyes were wide and locked on mine.

I lowered my head and captured his lips. He kissed me softly, the rolling of his lips a gentle pressure against mine. His bottom lip slid between mine and my tongue grazed it. He moaned, a sound that went straight from his throat into my mouth, and then I crowded him completely.

I braced myself on my right forearm against the bed, my left hand tugging at his blond hair. Our mouths opened and the kiss deepened, Kendall licking his way into my mouth as his fingers dug into my thighs.

"Fucking hell." I groaned, pulling back to inhale greedily. My chest was heaving, my fingers cramping from the tight grip I had on Kendall's hair.

He was breathing just as heavily. Carefully, he maneuvered us so that he was leaning up on his elbows and I was not quite as sprawled on top of him. His eyes raked across me, his gaze a physical touch. Every place he looked felt like it was on fire, a heat so intense I couldn't stop myself from closing the space between us to kiss him again.

I bit at his bottom lip once more and he gasped, throwing his head back, his hips twitching up. I cursed and moved to his neck, biting and kissing over the exposed skin. I nipped at his jawline, then licked over it quickly.

His hips moved in steady rotation against mine as I worked on his neck. I tugged at the first few buttons of his shirt until they came undone, and sucked a bright bruise on his collarbone as a reward.

"Oh, fuck." Kendall muttered, his body twitching at my ministrations. Grinning, I kissed the red spot gently.

I licked my way down his body, undoing the rest of the buttons of his shirt as I went. Kendall's arms gave away and he fell to the bed flatly. His hands flew to my head, his fingers intertwining in my hair.

He gripped me hard. I felt the sharp pleasure-pain burn, and couldn't help the low sound falling from my lips, pressing into his skin.

I slid down his body until his shirt was gone and there was barely any bed left. His hips were rotating mindlessly in small circles.

I felt dizzy, needy. I drew away from him, his hands tightening in my hair as he let out a small whine from the back of his throat.

"Kendall..." I said.

HIs eyes flew open. They were dark, his pupils painting his eyes black. He had a soft red blush on the high of his cheekbones, his lips red and swollen. I surged up and kissed him quickly.

He leaned toward me, following me as I pulled away. His hands had fallen limp onto my shoulders, and I cupped the side of his face with one hand.

I dropped my other hand to his lap. He hissed in surprise, head falling back. I could see a few dark bruises on his pale neck, and gently kissed each of them.

"James..." He murmured.

Heat flashed down my spine. "Can I…"

And, shit, I was usually much more suave than this. I was _James_ fucking Diamond. I wasn't some blushing virgin on prom night.

Except, Kendall kind of _was_ , and that was all sorts of weird and hot and I could barely think straight.

He swallowed hard enough for me to hear it. Our eyes locked and, slowly, I moved my hand that was on his lap, pressing harder down on him.

Kendall's eyes shut and he bit hard on his bottom lip. He was hard against my hand, straining against his pants, and I closed my fingers around the aching bulge.

HIs hips stuttered, and he let out a low string of curses that went straight to my head.

"Kendall." My voice broke. I tried again. "Can I-"

"Yes." Kendall cut in quickly. "Anything."

Heat flashed through me, harsh and hot, and I nearly passed out from the intensity of it. I slid down his body until I was off the bed, my knees on the floor, and hands bracing myself on either side of his thighs. He pushed himself up a little to look down at me.

Kendall frowned, his face crumpling in confusion. "What are you-"

I grinned up at him and winked. "Don't worry about it."

My hands worked quickly, undoing his belt and unbuttoning his pants. He hissed when I gently slid the zipper down, then let out a soft sigh that went straight to my own dick.

I took a steading breath and tugged his pants and boxers down in one go until they pooled around his ankles.

I swallowed hard, Kendall gasping at the rush of cold air hitting his hard erection. It stood tall, bobbing against his stomach as he fell back against the bed again. He propped himself up with one hand, the other going back to my hair. My spine tingled when he tugged.

He was big, bigger than I thought, the tip a swollen red. It was...well, it was a very pretty dick.

I kissed it gently.

"Holy shit." Kendall's eyes squeezed shut. His dick twitched underneath my lips.

I looked up at him, grinning at the sight. He looked absolutely undone already.

Well, Kendall had apparently been trying to fuck me since we'd met. Now, at least, we could make it official.

I swallowed him down in one go.

Kendall's fingers tightened almost painfully against my scalp, yelling out a hoarse "James, fuck!"

I relaxed my throat, taking him down as deeply as I could. My tongue slid and wrapped around him as I moved, slow and carefully, up and down his dick, bobbing my head slowly.

He let out a string of soft, whining sounds as I used my lips and tongue to work him into a mess. Spit and precome smeared across my face, against his dick, and I used it to work him even harder.

After a few minutes, Kendall's hand started to move on my head. He sat straighter, his other hand joining in my hair, as he set the pace faster and harder.

I happily complied, swallowing around him and diligently taking him as he fucked up against my face.

With his pants around his ankles and his shirt unbuttoned and pushed to either side to him, Kendall was a sight. I could feel myself strain against my own pants seeing him, head thrown back and eyes clenched shut as his hands forced my head to bob against his aching dick, hips moving off the bed in soft, circular motions.

A small whimper made it out from his pursed lips. I pulled off, one hand on the bed and the other on top of his on my head to help him ease up. His eyes popped open and I grinned. "I can't hear you."

His jaw fell as his lips parted. A low groan filled the air, and I licked across the head of his dick in reward.

"Oh, Jesus Christ, _fuck_!" Kendall's hips jutted up hard, fingers clenching so hard I almost yanked away from him, and then he was coming. He spilled hard and fast, and I quickly dove back down to wrap my lips around him. I snuck my tongue down him and licked at what I hadn't been able to swallow down.

I gently sucked at him until he was spent, and then licked him clean until he had fallen back against the bed, dick going soft from overuse.

Kissing his tip one last time, I sat back on my heels and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

Kendall was laying against the bed, breathing heavily. "Fuck."

I grinned. "Is that a compliment?"

"Is that a compl-" He shook his head and laughed. He lifted one hand lazily. "Come up here."

Before standing, I eased Kendall's feet up so I could slip his clothes off his ankles. Then I crawled up on the bed until we were settled next to each other.

Kendall turned his head. His face was a fading red, lips swollen, eyes glassy. He blinked at me, and I smiled.

Kendall reached over and slowly undid my pants. I wiggled out of them as he tugged, and it took no time at all until we were both naked, pressed against each other, with Kendall's hand between us, wrapped around me, fingers calloused and rough against my over-sensitive skin.

He trailed kisses across my lips, my cheeks, my neck, gently sucking against the pulse point there before kissing me hard, tongue twirling in my mouth as his wrist twisted and his thumb grazed over the tip of my aching cock.

Even though I had just had him down my throat, it was this-lying against the bed, Kendall lazily jerking me as we breathed deep and ragged against one another-that felt truly intimate. My heart hammered in my chest and when I came, bright white clouding my vision and the breath knocked from my lungs, Kendall murmured in my ear about how good I looked.

When I came back down, Kendall gently cleaned me off with his shirt before tossing it over the bed. We fell asleep without saying another word for the rest of the night.

* * *

I woke up with a start, my arm tingling with sleep.

Groaning, I went to roll over before hearing a soft sound. I froze.

I carefully opened my eyes and felt my heart hammer when I saw James sprawled out on my chest. One of my arms was trapped under his body. I lifted the other and hesitantly reached over.

I brushed a lock of his unruly hair out of his face. His nose scrunched and he burrowed against my chest, letting out a disgruntled sound. I held my breath and waited until he stilled.

James' hair was a bird's nest, like always, except this time I knew exactly why it looked that way. It had been my hands that had twisted into the strands to tug and rearrange them.

I burned with a surprised giddiness, a complete sense of excitement that was bubbling so brightly that I was sure James could feel it through my chest.

I felt...happy.

Last night felt more like a dream-a dream I had had many times before, but one that I liked to pretend hadn't existed before last night.

I'd told James that I _liked_ him! He'd _kissed_ me!

He-

The memory of his mouth against me was almost too much. I hadn't thought I would ever do something like that. Not with James, not with _any_ guy.

I wasn't sure what had come over me yesterday. I was not that guy. I wasn't the kind of guy who told people I had feelings. I wasn't really ever the kind of guy who _had_ feelings. I never admitted to stuff like that.

Remembering the sounds he'd made, the way his hazel eyes had burned when he looked up at me, made me wonder why the hell I hadn't told James how I felt years ago. All of the workplace rivalry tensions we had could have been put to far better use.

I couldn't stop staring at James. He looked better in his sleep. Less aggravating.

I wondered if it was possible to have such unnecessarily gushy feelings about him when I also thought he was annoying. Half the time, I wanted to strangle him. But the other half…

He muttered something unintelligible in his sleep, and I smiled. James frowned and then groaned, long and low, so that if I hadn't been awake before, I was _fully_ awake now. I felt my breath catch in my throat when he blinked awake and looked at me.

A wide, crooked grin pulled at his lips. He wrinkled his nose. "Are you watching me sleep?"

His voice was laced with sleep, his words dragged like gravel and smoke. I wanted to roll around in it. It sounded almost as good as he had last night.

His eyes widened, and I realized that my hand was still in his hair and I had tightened my grip accidentally. "My arm is asleep." I said dumbly.

He raised his eyebrows but rolled off of me. I lifted my numb arm and watched as it fell, the dead weight dropping it back to the bed. I sighed. "You broke it."

He sat up and stretched. His arms stretched high above his head as he shot me a completely unimpressed look. "Fuck off, it's fine."

"It's _broken_." I argued.

He rolled his eyes and reached down to touch his toes, stretching his back as he folded in on himself. He gave me a once-over. "It better not be."

I flushed.

He winked.

He jumped out of the bed and hesitated before leaning over and kissing my cheek. My eyes widened and watched as he bolted away to the bathroom. I heard the shower turn on.

I flopped back on the bed, feeling myself grin.

For the first time, I found myself thinking that maybe I could do it. That maybe it wouldn't be so bad, so terrible to come out.

It had been less than twelve hours of not hiding it, not fighting it, and the tension I'd been carrying in my shoulders since I was twelve was finally gone.

The thought came crashing down as soon as it was built. My grandparents. I couldn't come out, couldn't do that to them. After everything they'd done for me, after everything they'd sacrificed, I could never do that. It would kill them.

I swallowed hard.

The bathroom door swung open and James' head popped up from the corner. His hair was dripping, and he had one eye closed to keep the soapy water out. He looked fucking adorable. "Are you joining me or what? We've got to 'hit the road.'" He did a terrible impersonation of my voice.

I grinned without meaning to and forced the thought out of my mind.

I could worry about what I would do later. Right now, I had a shower to take. Now was not the time for worries. It was the time for finding out what James looked like wet.

* * *

 **Done! It looks like things are going rather well between Kames at the moment. :P**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed! I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, but it'll be up by Wednesday at the latest.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello everyone! New chapter here!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, RainbowDiamonds, Side1ways, and Guest for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

I knocked on the bathroom door, went in, and slowly stripped. James peeked out from behind the shower curtain, his eyes darting down me appreciatively.

I could feel myself blush. I ignored it and cocked my head. "Can I join you?"

"Of course." He grinned before throwing the curtain open. I bit my lip, fighting a smile and shaking my head.

I carefully stepped in, refusing to actively be embarrassed by his eyes scraping across my naked body. As soon as I was safely inside of the shower, James' arms shot out and tugged me toward him. The water was warm, and it beat down on my back in a way that had my head rolling back.

"Feel good?" James asked in a murmur. He shifted us until he was standing behind me and grabbed the shampoo bottle. Squeezing some out into his hand, he slowly started to run the shampoo through my hair.

His fingernails scraped softly against my scalp, his hands and fingers slowly and softly washing my hair. My head was lolling back, nearly falling on his shoulder every time he did it.

His hands slid down, still soapy, to wash my neck and shoulders. He moved his hands down my arms, across my back, and down to the cleft of my ass. It was an ineffectual attempt at bathing, but his hands felt so good pressing against my skin and muscles, knots easily being worked out with minimal pressure. It was like James himself, his mere presence, was what was making me feel better.

I turned around and leaned back, rinsing the soap out of my hair. Then I wound my arms around him and swallowed hard.

He was watching me softly. A bit of panic curled against my gut, but I ignored it resolutely.

"Hey." I said.

His lips quirked. My eyes dropped to them. "Hi."

"How safe do you think it would be to make out right now?" I asked.

James laughed. "Two grown men in a wet and soapy shower, no real ability to catch themselves if they slip? Very unsafe."

Despite his words, he surged forward and kissed me. It was slow, a languid pace, his chin tilting as he angled his head to kiss me deeper. I chased after him until he was pressed against the tiles, the water pouring over us like a waterfall. James' tongue slid against mine, and his hands held firmly to my hips.

We stood there kissing, learning the curves and tastes of each other's mouths, until the water turned cold. We finished washing quickly, laughing as we tried to avoid the ice-cold pellets of water, and stealing kisses against each other's shoulders and necks whenever we could.

It wasn't the most effective shower I'd ever had, but it was certainly the best.

XxX

An hour later, James and I were dressed and ready to leave. He was whistling, and I couldn't find it in me to be annoyed by that.

We threw our bags into the back seat and I went to return the keys. One of the rooms had been completely unused. I considered asking for a refund for it, but then realized I would need to explain _why_. So. No thanks.

I came back and saw James standing in front of the open hood with his arms crossed.

I stood next to him and shoved my hands in my pocket.

He tilted his head at the engine. I frowned. "What are we looking at?"

James glanced at me, seemingly surprised I was there. "The car won't start."

"Oh." I leaned over and looked into the empty abyss that was the car engine. "Is looking at it helping?"

"Shut up." James gave me a gentle shove. "Go sit down."

I lifted my hands in defeat and happily complied. I slid into the passenger seat and leaned against the door, waiting.

A minute passed, and then two, and then James slammed the hood down and slid into the drivers side.

"So..." He said, tapping one hand on the steering wheel. "Turns out I don't know anything about cars."

I laughed. He shoved me again. I laughed harder.

I went inside to get us coffee and bagels from the breakfast bar while James called a mechanic. We ate the bagels dry, sitting on the step of the motel's entrance. James was dressed more appropriately today, because we had to deliver the package. For the first time, I was allowed to look.

I gazed at him, at the way his slacks pulled against his thighs, at the way his sharp collarbone was visible from his striped button-down. He drank his coffee and watched me back. The mechanic came over and gave us an appraising unimpressed look.

I tried to follow his explanation of what had happened to the engine, but from the way that James' eyes were glazing over, he seemed equally confused.

"Wait, so...what?"

The mechanic sighed. "It's going to take a few days to fix. We're going to tow it to the shop. Do you need to get anything out of it?"

James jumped up and went to grab our things and pay the mechanic for his time. A bout of panic curled around my guts as I sat there, frozen on the stoop.

The car was _broken_. James' special, important, expensive car was broken, and now we couldn't take the package to LA.

We were supposed to deliver it _today_. Harris had been clear-be prompt, do well, get promoted. Now, we were trapped at some motel five hours out from LA, and we were going to be fired.

James came back while I was crafting my "please don't fire me" speech in the Notes app on my phone.

"Kendall? Kendall. Dude!"

I blinked and glanced up at him. "We're going to be fired."

"Dude." He sighed and looked up at the sky. Then he shook his head at me. "It's going to be _fine_. Everything will be okay."

"No, James. Harris said to be _prompt_ , and we're both getting canned. You too! Can't charm your way out of this!"

"I don't charm. Now, settle down and listen. I'll call Harris. I'll explain the situation to him and it'll be okay."

He held out a hand. After a beat, I took it and stood up. We were standing chest to chest now. "I'll go check us back in, I guess."

"Good." James said, shoulder relaxing. He reached over and put his hand on my shoulder. I tried not to melt completely into it, but mostly failed.

James slipped out his phone and walked back to the car. I watched him for a second before going into the motel's lobby.

"Um. Hi."

"Back already?" The receptionist didn't look up from the computer she was typing on.

I shrugged. "Yeah. We, um, actually ned the room again."

That got her attention. She quirked an eyebrow. "Room? Or rooms, plural?"

"Oh." I glanced out the window. James was leaning against the hood of the car, talking on the phone. He waved when he saw me. "Just the one with the King bed is fine. It's, um, cheaper that way."

"Whatever you say." She started to type again. I handed over the company credit card and sent a hopeless prayer that Harris wouldn't take any of this out of my paycheck.

After I got the room key, I pulled out my own phone and went to the window, a little out of earshot from the receptionist. I called my grandparents house. It took a few rings, like always, but eventually she answered.

"Hi, Grandma. It's Kendall."

"Kendall!" She cried out happily. "Are you back? How was the trip? Bill! Bill, Kendall is on the phone! Kendall! Your grandson. I swear, that man!"

I laughed. "I'm sure he's coming."

"Slow as a tortoise, that man."

Grandpa's voice was quiet, but I heard him mutter back to her, "Not as slow as you!"

I shook my head as they started bickering. I imagined them standing in the old kitchen with the faded yellow wallpaper, holding the phone between them as they happily argued about anything they could. "Guys? Grandma?"

"Oh, Kendall, honey. Sorry. You're home from your trip?"

"No." I said before looking out the window. James was grinning at me through the window and sitting on the hood cross-legged. "It's going to be a few more days now."

"More _days_? Why is it taking so long for two grown boys to deliver a package?"

"Well, the car broke down."

"What? I knew this was unsafe. Can't you just put it in the mail for the rest of the way?"

"Grandma." I sighed. "There's a promotion on the line. We've got to do this right."

She hummed. It was her conspiracy theory hum. I braced myself for whatever she was about to suggest. "Watch that other boy."

"James?" I asked, incredulously. "You love James."

"I do not!" She protested.

"Every time I complain about him, you tell me that I need to be nicer to him. You have since college."

I imagined Grandma waving that away. "If there's only one promotion, you need to watch out!"

Grandpa started to argue with her, as he always did when she got suspicious about other people, and I tuned them out as they forgot that I was on the line.

I glanced over at James. He was typing away on his phone.

"Grandma, I gotta go. I love you guys. Be safe."

I hung up quickly and crossed my arms, frowning at James. Grandma was just being paranoid. Harris didn't say there was just _one_ promotion, and, besides, how was this supposed to be a competition? It was just driving.

But James _was_ the only one to drive. He was also pretty eager to call Harris instead of me.

James' head popped up and he made an exaggerated _what are you doing?_ Gesture with his arms raised. He cocked his head and motioned for me to come outside.

I shook my head. I was being paranoid. James was just being nice. He didn't have some sort of secret in with the CEO of the company. Surely, even James would have told me about that.

* * *

I didn't used to believe in miracles, but goddamn, I needed to start, because apparently _I_ was a miracle worker. One blowjob and a good night's sleep, and Kendall Knight was a completely different person.

I didn't want to toot my own horn but, hey. The guy had been miserable since _college_ , and now he was practically a delight.

" _When_ I'm your boss, you aren't allowed to be late." He said suddenly, rolling over.

I huffed and rolled to face him. The annoyance drained out of me immediately. Shirtless Kendall really did help soften the blow of his Type-A personality.

"Is that so?" I asked, propping myself up on my elbow.

He nodded, grinning. "Yep! Because there will be time cards."

"Time cards? Come on. That's a lot, even for you."

"I think it's a great idea. Increases productivity, accountability, a visceral sense of the workday starting and ending."

"You are going to be a dictator in a pantsuit."

"Maybe." He chuckled, shrugging one shoulder. It was a ridiculous gesture with the way he was lying, and I laughed, scooting closer to him.

He kissed me before I could kiss him. I felt his smile against mine. "Hey." I said. "Let's do something."

"Do something?" Kendall pulled back long enough to raise his eyebrows. "Like what?"

"Don't sound so suspicious." I rolled my eyes. "Let's go...I don't know. Explore. Let's just do something."

Kendall scrunched his nose as he considered it. After a beat, he shrugged. "Yeah, sure. Why not."

I hit him with a pillow. He spluttered in protest, and I laughed. "No, please, you're _suffocating_ me with your complete enthusiasm at the prospect of hanging out with me."

Kendall cracked a grin. "Fuck off." He said sweetly, leaning over and giving me a quick kiss. I grinned and determinedly ignored the way my heart flipped in my chest from the gesture. "I'm going to go take a shower."

I watched him go, momentarily marveling at his naked ass. It was a nice ass. Truly, the Helen of Troy of asses.

He disappeared into the bathroom, the shower starting up. I considered following him in there, showering with him. I was curious as to what his hands would feel like massaging shampoo into my hair. I was also curious to see how many orgasms I could wring out of him before we got back to Seattle.

The phone rang before I had the chance to follow through on my curiosities. I groaned and sat up, looking around. It was my cell, I knew that at least. Kendall had the absolute worst ringtone. It was somehow way worse than my default one. He claimed it was easier to hear, but I called bullshit.

I stumbled, trying to get my legs untangled from the blankets, nearly tripping and face-planting on the floor. "Fucking hell." I sighed, shaking my head.

I found my cell phone underneath my pants. I didn't recognize the number, but answered it anyway. "James Diamond." I sat down on the floor and stretched out.

"Uh, hi. Mr. Diamond? This is Mark. I came out and looked at your car."

I snapped my fingers. "Yes! Mark the Mechanic. What's up, man?"

"Uh. Yeah. So I have to order a part to get it up and running for you to make it back to Seattle. Now, normal delivery takes a few days. Or I can have it express shipped, and it'll be here tomorrow, but that costs extra."

"Oh, cool!" The mystery package was important to Harris for some reason, so I felt pretty confident that he was willing to pay a little extra for the job to get done faster. We could get the part tomorrow, deliver the package, and be back in Seattle in three days time.

The shower shut off. I heard the sound of a towel being pulled off the rack, Kendall whistling as he got out.

Harris would be willing to pay. But a sooner delivery meant sooner getting back to Seattle. Less time with Kendall.

I _knew_ that Kendall was happy right now. Hell, I could hear him _whistling_. I was pretty sure he'd never whistled a day in his life. I might not know him very well yet, but I had known him for a long time. I just knew he was happy right now.

But Seattle Kendall? The Kendall who was maybe out but also maybe not, the one who hated me in every single way?

I hoped that things would be different when we got back, but…

Kendall came out of the bathroom, a towel tied around his waist. He leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms. His blond hair was plastered to his face, and he had a concerned expression on.

"A few days is fine." I said into the phone.

Mark the Mechanic stuttered a moment. "You want to wait?"

I locked eyes with Kendall. "Yeah, a few days will be okay. Just call when the part gets here?"

"Okay. I'll call you then."

I hung up the phone and spread out on the floor, leaning back with my arms behind me. "Good shower?"

"Shut up." Kendall rolled his eyes, smiling. "Who was that?"

"The mechanic." I nodded my head to the ground next to me. His lips twitched. He grabbed boxers from his bag, slipping into them before coming over to sit next to me. "He has to order a part, but it'll be here in a few days, and then it's an easy fix."

Kendall groaned. He sat next to me, mimicking my pose. "That sucks."

"Hmm?" He had dark bruises on his neck and collarbone. There was one on his upper thigh. I had marked him like a teenager-a flush of heat went through me at the sight.

"It sucks that we'll have to wait so long before delivering that package."

My eyes snapped up to his. Momentarily, I felt guilty about not discussing the decision with him. But then his head tilted and he leaned in, kissing me gently, and I forgot to feel bad at all.

XxX

"I'm going to move here." I mumbled around a full mouth, a low groan building in my chest.

Kendall wiped his lips. "You don't even know where _here_ is."

"It's...somewhere outside of LA. Who cares. I'm so happy here." I moaned.

Kendall raised his eyebrows. "Because of this burger?"

"Because of this burger." I agreed. I took another bite and shook my head. "This is so fucking good."

"You are insane." Kendall said, grabbing a handful of fries.

"I'm living life, man." I held my arms out and grinned. "Learn to embrace it."

Kendall rolled his eyes before holding out a hand.

I cocked my head. His hand was in the air between us, and his eyebrows were raised expectantly. Tentatively, I lifted my hand and intertwined our fingers.

Kendall burst out into laughter. "The hell are you doing?"

"You gave me your hand!" I drew my arm back, refusing to blush or be embarrassed. My skin did not pick up on the hard move we were trying to pull.

"I was trying to get your burger." He explained slowly, reaching out and grabbing the wrapped burger from me. "To taste it and, uh, embrace life."

"Oh." I shoved it at him. "Have at it. I'll try your…" I looked down at his food and frowned. It was a big green salad with walnuts. "Rabbit food."

He ignored me and took a bite. I watched in rapture as he chewed, his eyes falling shut, and his chest rumbling with satisfaction. He swallowed. "That is really good."

My mouth felt dry. I shoved some of his salad into my mouth so I wouldn't do something like leap over the bed and crash into him. It was a very good salad, but I refused to admit that.

"I told you."

My voice sounded wrong. He handed me the burger back, a small smirk on his face. _Asshole._

Kendall grabbed his salad and stabbed his fork into it. "What do you want to do with the rest of the day?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. I dragged a French fry through the ketchup we had poured on a piece of my burger wrapper.

We had already walked around the small area of the town that we could get to on foot and found a few places to eat. The diner was packed, so we'd taken our lunches back to the hotel room, but there was another small restaurant that looked good that we could go to for dinner. I didn't see much of anything to do here besides eat, though.

"We could rent a car." Kendall suggested. "Maybe the dealership has one we can borrow, see if there's anything fun nearby. I could even drive!"

"No." I replied automatically. I threw the fries in my mouth.

Kendall frowned. He stabbed a piece of spinach. "What's all that about?"

"What?"

"The driving thing."

I carefully did not tense my muscles. "Don't know what you're talking about."

Kendall furrowed his brows. "Um, yes, you do."

"Nope." I bit off a huge bite of the burger. "This really is good."

"James." Kendall set his fork down. He caught my eye. "Come on."

The air between us felt heavy. It sat, stretching out between us, and I felt my breath caught in my throat. It...was an opening. To explain myself to Kendall, to make this _something_ between us more than just physical.

My throat closed up. I couldn't do it.

Kendall frowned and looked away. He picked up his fork. The air started to shift again.

"I don't let other people drive." I blurted out. Kendall's head snapped up. I could barely breathe. "I never do."

Kendall set the fork back down and leaned back. His ankles were crossed, arms slightly behind his body. He tilted his head, quietly waiting.

I took a deep breath. "I don't let other people drive because...bad things happen."

"Happen? Or…" Kendall hesitated. He sat up. "Happened?"

"Happened." I said quickly. I looked down at the food between us. My appetite was completely gone.

Kendall carefully collected the rest of our food and put it in a plastic bag. His eyes flickered between what he was doing and me, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. I wondered if I had ever heard Kendall be this quiet when it wasn't an aggressive silence he was using against me.

I considered reveling in it, basking in the glory that was Kendall Knight not saying something to be _nice_ , but the moment was too somber to enjoy.

I sighed and forced the words out. "When I was seventeen, I...I was dumb. Right? I mean, seventeen-year-olds are dumb." I said, watching as Kendall hesitantly nodded. "Except that Dak wasn't. Dak wasn't dumb, he was...smart. Really smart. He got early admission into Stanford. He was going to be a lawyer. Save the whole damn world."

I could see him now-his ridiculous, unruly dark hair. I used to tug at it, twirl it around my fingers. We used to joke about how sad it would be to cut off all that beautiful hair when he had to try and be professional.

Dak would kiss me, softly, like it mattered to him that I was taken care of, like I was special, and promise to grow it back out before our wedding.

I swallowed. My family knew about Dak. People I knew from high school, though, God, they were few and far between. And Lucy, of course, who'd heard the whole sad tale on the anniversary of his death while we were trashed in a bar downtown.

We'd spent my sixteenth birthday in the back of my old car, parked out by the lake, just us and the stars and a thousand promises that we really did mean.

"Um, but…" I shook my head. I couldn't force myself to look up at Kendall, didn't want to see that tight expression. The one that was really just pity, but everyone called it concern; called it worry; called it sorrow. I didn't want to see that on Kendall's face.

"One night we were out. We, um, liked to go to this spot. It was, God, it sounds so dumb."

Kendall's hand covered mine. My head snapped up. Kendall's eyes were soft, kinder than I had ever seen them, but there wasn't...he didn't look the way I thought he would.

His head was turned to one side, hand on mine. His legs were tucked under his knees, eyes wide and mouth pressed in a flat line. He didn't looked concerned, he looked…

Almost angry.

He licked his lips. "Like, your spot?"

I nodded. "Yeah, it was our spot. But...Dak wanted to drive. He was a really bad driver. But he wanted to drive, even though I always drove. I figured it would be okay. There wasn't really anyone on the road, and…"

I stopped, Kendall scooted closer to me. His other hand closed around mine, until my hands were trapped inside of his. He sat with me, carefully watching, until I could continue.

"He died on impact. I was knocked out. I...I don't remember any of it. But I know he was driving, and then…" I shrugged one shoulder.

Kendall squeezed my hands.

I took a deep, unsettled breath until my chest felt a little bit less like it wanted to cave in. I smiled, but Kendall's eyes narrowed, so it probably looked off. "Anyway. That's...I don't like to drive, but I...I don't want you to drive. Just in case."

"I'll stop asking." Kendall said firmly. I looked at him. The angry look was more obvious now-the pinch of skin between his brows, the hard set of his mouth, the way his jaw was tensed. I looked away from him.

Kendall's hand raised and cupped my chin. He gently pushed until I lifted my head. His eyes were shining with intensity. "I'm so angry."

"I know." I pushed his hand away and looked at my lap. "I...I didn't mean to. I'm more careful now, and-"

"Wait, fuck, no. James." Kendall grabbed me with both hands on my shoulders. "That's not what I mean, I'm...fuck, I'm sorry, I just...I'm so angry that that happened _to_ you. You're...I didn't know. I didn't know, and that just...fucking sucks."

My eyebrows shot up to my forehead. I blinked at him. "It...sucks?"

Kendall winced. He covered his face with his hands. "Shit, I'm...I'm no good at this. Talking. I'm sorry, I just…"

For a half a second, I was offended by the nonchalant words. But then they settled and I threw my head back, laughing. "That is such an inappropriate response."

"I know!" Kendall cried. "I'm sorry, I didn't...I just…"

"No." I scooted closer to him and grabbed his hands. Our fingers intertwined. "It's okay. I know what you mean."

"You didn't deserve to go through that."

I wasn't sure what it said about either of us, but Kendall's anger felt different than the pitying concern that others had given me. Kendall's anger felt...justified.

I had never been angry about what happened. It almost felt good, to have someone carry the burden of that and feel the anger for me.

"Life is short." I said. "I know you think that I'm...uncaring. But it's just...life is really short. And it...sometimes you have to just let things be simple. Because the unsimple things will happen, with or without your approval."

Kendall considered that. He nodded, slowly, and I pushed forward. "I know that you think I'm rude, and privileged, and maybe I am, but that's not...I'm never _trying_ to upset you or provoke you. I mean, not in a mean way. I'm just messing around, and I kinda thought you liked it, 'cause you do the same to me, but I guess I didn't read it right, or…"

I stopped. Kendall was tilting his head, appraising me. Embarrassment and need and lingering sorrow clung to my throat.

Kendall leaned forward. Our lips brushed. He kissed me, gently, until the ache in my chest was mostly gone.

* * *

 **Done! So, it looks like things are progressing between Kames! We also got a bit of James' backstory and found out what happened with him and Dak.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed! I hope you all are having a great week so far! As for this, the next chapter probably won't be up until the weekend.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello everyone! Here we are, back again. :P**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to XxxAnimaniacxxX, Side1ways, winterschild11, Guest, and RianbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

It was settling on me that the degree to which I had misjudged James Diamond was approaching truly astronomical. I wasn't sure how to come back from this.

The restaurant was some overpriced place with dim lighting and reviews on the back of the menu. We were sitting side by side in a corner booth, our knees knocking. He was sitting next to me, frowning at a menu, and all I could think was: _Holy shit, I was so wrong. We could have been doing this years ago._

His confession, if you could call it that, weighed on me heavily. I had known James since we were both eighteen, which meant that the accident must've been a year before we met.

And I'd had no idea.

Knowing it now, knowing how much it had affected him, how much it _still_ affected him...everything I knew about James made more sense. It was as if things had shifted over a spot, and now everything was lined up in place.

I'd thought that James was careless. Carefree. When I was feeling generous, I thought it was all an act. I never considered that it was a response to caring too much. That it could be genuine and honest, but not from a place of naivety.

I could practically taste the guilt on my tongue. I grabbed a glass of water from the table and drank half of it in one go.

"I want to order everything on the menu." James said decidedly, setting his menu down.

He had been pretty quiet since our talk. I was sure it had brought back all kinds of painful memories, but he seemed to be coming back to himself.

He turned, his elbow on the table, and propped his chin on his hand. Wrinkling his nose, he watched me. "For the love of God, tell me you're not going to order another salad."

 _Yep, definitely coming back to himself._

"I eat more than salad."

"You eat _a lot_ of salad."

"Salad…" I sat my menu down and mirrored his position. His smile widened when my chin hit my hand. "Is good for you."

"It's not enough." James disagreed.

"For what?"

He grinned wide. "For the energy you need tonight."

My mouth fell open and I felt my face burn. "Shut up."

He laughed. I swatted at his elbow until his hand fell. "Just...seriously." He said. "Order something _good_."

I ignored him, but when the waiter came and James ordered a steak, I ordered one too.

The food was good, and the beer that James had suggested was pretty good. The restaurant was nice, but James' moan every time he had a good bite, and his foot rubbing up against my ankle every few minutes, was much nicer-and much more distracting.

When the waiter asked if we wanted dessert, I asked for the check. James' eyebrows rose; I ignored him.

He signed the credit card receipt while I thanked and tipped the waiter.

As soon as were outside, James threw me up against the wall. His lips crashed on mine and he kissed me hard. "You're such a tease."

"You're the tease!" I argued.

James narrowed his eyes. My body tingled with anticipation.

We made it back to the motel room nearly in one piece. James' hands were everywhere, tugging at my shirt, my hands, my pants. He stripped me in quick flashes between hard, biting kisses and unimaginably delicious swipes of his hands across my bare skin.

He slammed me against the closed motel door, sliding to his knees and taking my pants and boxers with him. I was fully naked, pressed against the door, and James licked a hot stripe up my throbbing cock.

"Oh, fuck." My eyes squeezed shut, and my hips canted forward without my permission.

James swirled his tongue around my tip. "That's the idea." He murmured.

I looked down at him, a whimper falling from my lips. James had stripped from the waist up; his hair was standing up in a fuck-me mess, his normally bright eyes now dark with swollen pupils. He caught my eye, smirked, and lowered his mouth over my cock, carefully sucking me down until I was a writhing mess.

"James...fuck, oh, God!"

He licked around the base, pressing kisses just this side of too hard around me. He sucked me all the way down until my dick pressed to the back of his throat, and then he swallowed, once, twice, _fuck_ , and then relaxed his throat, bringing his hands up to my hips to encourage my movements. Gladly, I let my hips rock to him, feeling the wet slide of his mouth against me.

I could feel myself speeding up, too fast, too hard, hips fucking against his face, but James just moaned around me, fingernails digging into my skin hard enough that the skin was probably splitting. He used his lips and tongue to get me as wet as possible as he bobbed his head up and down, my rotating and jerking hips seemingly not preventing his movements at all.

He tore off me after a second, leaning back on his heels and pressing a hand to his own straining erection.

I was breathing too heavily, blood pounding too hard, for me to come up with something coherent to say. Sweat dripped down James' hairline, his cheeks a bright red, as he heaved out breaths.

"Fuck, you're so hot." He groaned out after a minute.

Heat filled my veins so hot that the room felt nearly cold. The hand that I still had in his hair tugged hard. His eyes rolled as he stood up, all the while stringing curses out of his swollen red lips.

I yanked at his pants, sloppily and desperately trying to get James stripped. He caught on quickly and shimmied out of them, toeing out of his jeans and socks easily.

I pushed against his chest until he moved backwards. When the back of his knees hit the bed, I knocked him onto it.

James fell hard enough to bounce a little. He grinned. "God, you're bossy."

"Shut up." I followed him down and kissed him hard enough to bruise. I could feel the sharp pleasure-pain burn through the kiss, and from James' low rumble in his chest and the fast circular motions his hips were rocking against mine, he felt it, too.

I moved down his jaw, biting at the skin there, before sucking slow and hard on his neck. James let out a long, filthy sound that had my hips jerking forward and my teeth sinking into his skin. He whimpered, and I licked over the spot.

I continued my way down his chest, licking over his nipples and gently flicking them with my tongue. James cursed, loudly, and did it again and again until he was writhing against me, our cocks rutting against each other with only the cotton of his boxers separating us.

"You're…' He gasped out and started again. "A fucking cocktease."

I nipped at his hip bone, and pressed a tender kiss to the bruise I had just sucked there before sliding down lower.

I swallowed hard when I came face to face with the straining, twitching cock trapped in James' boxers. The other night...a hand job was one thing. This was something unfamiliar, and…

My own dick twitched in response.

I licked tentatively against the material.

"Oh, _fucking hell_." James groaned as his hands fisted in the sheets.

Encouraged, I did it again before slowly taking the black material in my mouth, sucking a little around the cloth-covered tip. James mewled out a reply I couldn't quite process.

My hands shook a little, but I managed to get his boxers slid down his hips and off his body without too much trouble.

And fuck, I knew what was happening here, but I was starting to have doubts.

James' cock was fucking incredible-I hadn't seen any in real life before, save mine and the occasional, accidental glance in a locker room; but even with a lifetime of secret gay porn watching, nothing could have prepared me for James' dick.

Without thinking too much about it, I reached out and took it in my hand, giving a few slow, teasing strokes, listening as James cursed again.

"You're such a cocktease." He said again.

I lost my breath looking at him. Spread out across the blanket, his eyes closed, lips still swollen and wet, his chest heaving as he fought to stay in control. I wanted to take everything he had to offer.

I wrapped my lips around him, and James let out the most incredible sounds I'd ever heard, and I forced myself to breathe through my nose and sink further on him.

I only lasted a few minutes of gentle pressure, licking and kissing my way down him, when I realized I couldn't relax my throat enough to get him all the way down, but then James was pulling me up to him and crushing our lips together, chasing the taste of himself all across my mouth.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Kendall." James said my name in between kisses, his hands sliding down my arms, across my chest, over the ridges of my hip bones. He was everywhere, and not anywhere near close enough.

I wound my legs around him, tightening to keep him close, and he moaned loudly. "Fuck, Kendall, can I...can we...what do you want?"

I couldn't breathe. I kissed him again.

He tore away. "No, Kendall, man, you gotta-fuck, oh shit, do that again!"

I rotated my hips and ground down against him. He jutted his hips up to meet me halfway before remembering he was saying something. "You gotta tell me what you want."

I didn't _know_ what I wanted. I wanted to be burned, and to put the fire out, and to let it consume me entirely, and I wanted…"More."

"More? What...that's so vague!" James said as he bit at my bottom lip, and we fought for dominance in the kiss for a few moments.

"Please…" I begged. "Please, just...more."

James pulled away and looked at me. His eyes flickered across my face. "I could...I have stuff in my bag."

"On a work trip?" I blurted out.

James' lips quirked. "Hey, you never know."

I let out a laugh that was too breathy to be anything concrete. He slid out from under me and went to the corner where his bag was, rummaging around before coming back with a small tube and a condom.

"Do you want to...or do you want me?" James swallowed hard, schooling his face to casual indifference, even as his cock jumped eagerly.

I sat up and grabbed his shoulders, pulling him back on the bed with me. "I want you to."

His eyes widened. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." I said firmy. He surged down and kissed me, and then asked again. I nodded. "Yes, please. Just...please, James."

He nodded quickly. "Turn around."

My heart skipped a beat in my chest and I quickly threw myself around. I shook with anticipation as his hands pressed down on my ass, gently massaging me for a minute. I could feel myself relax under his hands.

Then, just as suddenly, he was gone. I heard the wet pop of lube being opened.

His fingers were cold against me, and I squirmed as I got used to the new sensation. I had done this to myself a few times, but someone else doing it was an entirely different ballgame.

James leaned over me and murmured softly in my ear. "Tell me if you want me to stop or...do something else. You're in control here, okay?"

I nodded against the pillow. He gently kissed the outside of my ear and slid one finger against me, the wet friction of him forcing a gasp out of my lungs. He circled my hole, keeping me breathless, before slowly gliding in.

I gasped. He froze as my muscles locked and I tried to get used to the feeling.

I forced my muscles to relax. "Move." I said.

"Are you sure?"

"James, _move_." I wiggled against him, gasping at the way his fingers brushed over me.

James moved one finger inside of me before slipping a second one in, pressing and opening me up. I couldn't help my hips moving, setting a slow and steady pace as he fucked me with his fingers. He slid against me easily, curling into me. When he slid a third in, my vision whited out and I saw stars.

He moved slowly, and then-

"Oh, shit, fuck _there_ , yes." My hips slammed back onto his hand, desperately grinding. My cock was caught between my stomach and the bed, and I struggled to find a pace that let me fuck against James' fingers and the bed at the same time.

"Fuck, James, I...please, more."

James paused. "Are you ready?"

"Yes!" I cried, fucking back against him once more, hard, for good measure.

James kissed the back of my neck as he slowly pulled out. He tapped my hip. "Roll over."

I moved quickly.

James looked absolutely wrecked. His eyes were nearly all black now, hair messy, lips swollen, and his dick hard and at attention. I reached out and curled my fingers around it.

He hissed. "Kendall, let go before I ruin this night before its even started."

I let go immediately, hiding my smile in his shoulder. James gritted his teeth and closed his eyes as he rolled the condom onto himself and then poured more lube over him, carefully stroking himself.

"Are you ready?" He asked in a murmur.

I nodded eagerly and pulled at his shoulder. He used one hand to prop himself up, the other to lift my leg high. I moved the other one in tandem and wrapped them around him.

Slowly, James lined himself up and pushed into me.

I gasped as the breath was knocked out of my lungs.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." James chanted, eyes locked on him disappearing inside of me. He had a pinched look on his face, as if it was painful for him to slide inside of me so slowly.

I concentrated on breathing deeply. After a second, I got used to the feeling and relaxed.

Jame waited until I started to move against him. I moaned, loudly, as the line of his cock brushed up against me and bright fireworks danced across my eyelids. He felt _so good_ inside of me, better than I'd ever thought anything could feel.

James began to thrust faster, his hips moving steadily as he slowly slammed into me, rotating his hips in an exaggerated circle inside of me. I couldn't stop the litany of moans coming from me, couldn't stop the way I was desperately trying to fuck down onto him, chasing the feeling of him.

"You're so good." James murmured, his head falling to my shoulder. "You feel so amazing. God, Kendall, you're so good."

The praise was dizzying when accompanied by the slow drag of his hard cock inside of me. I could feel the familiar buzz underneath my skin already.

It was building quickly. Every time James fucked against that one spot inside of me, it grew brighter and brighter, until my fingers were digging into James' shoulders, my hips desperately thrusting against him.

"Oh, fuck, yes, Kendall, yes, you're so good. Use me however you want, oh God, _yes_." James was fucking me in earnest now, his hips snapping as he ground into me faster and faster. Sweat was dripping down his chest, his face, and I could feel it on me. My cock _ached_ between our bodies, the drag of its head against our abdomens too much, and then…

James bit down on my shoulder, sucking a bruising kiss into it, and I moaned loudly.

I came hard, my breath catching and heart stopping as my cock twitched, long ropes of come shooting out to paint our chests. I could feel myself tense around him, my muscles tighten and holding him close as my abdomen spasmed.

" _James_!" I called his name, too loudly, and then I felt him freeze, his body tensing, and then the warm feeling of his thrusting cock still as he came inside of me. His head fell lower on my chest, and another hot burst shot out of me.

When I managed to open my eyes again, James was looking down at me. Some of my release had gotten on his chin and cheek. A bit of it was close to his lips. My eyes widened.

James slowly pulled out of me, both of us wincing as he did so. His tongue swept out of his mouth and licked at the mess near his lips. I nearly passed out at the sight.

Breathing heavily, James rolled to the side of me. I blindly reached around on the floor until I grabbed a piece of clothing and wiped down my chest and stomach, carefully cleaning off my spent cock with what one glance had me thinking were James' boxers. Then I rolled to my side and gently cleaned James off.

I started with his face, and then cleaned his chest, slowly taking the condom off him and throwing it in the trash can beside the bed. I very carefully wiped him with the clean corner of the boxers and, after a satisfied glance to make sure he was actually clean, tossed his boxers in the general direction of his bag.

James watched me as I did without saying anything. When I was done, he reached over and tugged me to him. We laid side by side, facing each other, our hands intertwined between us.

"So...that was something." James said quietly.

I felt myself smile, even as I tried to fight it. "Apparently."

"Do we talk about it?" He asked, looking as awkward as I felt.

I considered it. "We could talk about who does it next?"

James grew a slow, wide grin. "See? I knew there was a reason I liked you."

"My ass?" I replied deadpan, raising an eyebrow.

He laughed, the sound almost jarring with how loud it was now that our pulses settled down.

He scooted closer to me. We shifted until his head was on my chest and my arm was around him. I could feel his head move up and down as I breathed.

I wasn't sure who fell asleep first, or when it happened, but I did know that for the first time in a long time, things finally felt like they were how they were supposed to be.

* * *

Kendall's voice was droning in my ears. I was used to that-our cubicles were close enough together, even being in different parts of the Quad-but there was something decidedly nicer when I heard it reverberating from his chest, his hand stroking through my hair.

M eyes were closed, but I could imagine Kendall's face as he spoke to his grandmother on the phone. I was thankful I had resisted the urge to make fun of him for calling his grandma when he first mentioned it. He had explained his family, how his grandparents had raised him, how close he was to them. I could hear it in his voice now.

"Yes, we're...getting along. It's not so bad, not as bad as I thought it would be." He tugged at my ear in warning, and I fought to stay quiet. He had asked me not say anything incriminating.

I had rolled my eyes, but...now I heard it. In his voice. The words he carefully chose when he spoke about the trip. It was more than just not sharing your personal life with your grandparents. It was Kendall, carefully walking the line of not coming out.

He would never be able to tell his grandma the truth. I could hear it, easily. The formality, the slow execution of his phrases. It made Kendall make more sense to me. Every interaction we'd had before this trip, hell, even halfway on this trip, had been Kendall using the same tone. That careful, dedicated quietness.

He was never going to tell them he was gay.

The knowledge made my chest ache in a way that was almost as surprising as it was painful.

Kendall's hand stilled in my hair as he hung up the phone. "I've got to go. Tell Grandpa I called. Yeah...yeah, okay. Okay. Sure. I love...yes, I love you, too. Bye."

I hid my smile in his shirt. "You're a grandmama's boy. That's embarrassing."

"Fuck off." Kendall rubbed my head. I nearly purred.

We were sprawled across the motel bed, a rerun of an old sitcom playing on the small TV. It was relaxing in a way my life hadn't been for...years.

I couldn't remember a time when there wasn't work to focus on, Mom to check on, Dak to mourn, Lucy to manage. This motel was starting to become something more like a haven than a place we were trapped. Especially with Kendall's hard chest underneath my cheek.

Oh...fuck…

I was starting to like him…

Like, _like_ him, like him.

The kind of like him where Lucy would laugh, and this closet case was going to have _power_ over me. Fucking hell.

I pushed off his chest and sat next to him. My back pressed against the headboard and Kendall glanced at me once before intertwining our fingers.

Fucking dork. I squeezed his hand.

"How is she?" I asked after a minute.

Kendall frowned at me. "Who? Grandma?"

"Obviously." I rolled my eyes.

He smacked my shoulder. "She's good. It's...I usually see her every few days, just go over to the house to check on them. Grandpa's getting older, can't always do everything he thinks he can. Grandma, at least, is aware of her limitations. So, it's weird. Being this far away."

I hummed. "Do you think you'd ever leave? Like, leave-leave?"

"Leave Seattle?" He asked.

I shrugged one shoulder. "Yeah. Like, I don't know. Just leave?"

Kendall breathed out of his nose, frowning. "I've...never really thought about it."

I turned to him fully at that. "Never?"

"No." He admitted. "It just hasn't really occurred to me. I don't know. Probably not. What if they needed me?"

My eyebrows raised, but I said nothing. We watched a bit more of the TV.

"Do they know?"

"Know what?"

I raised an eyebrow. Kendall's mouth fell open a little, and he turned to the TV, so I spelled it out. "That you're gay."

"I'm not-" He stopped and frowned. "Okay. So that might be a bit more automatic than it is true."

I laughed, and his lips twitched in a smile. I waited. Kendall didn't say anything.

I nudged him with my foot. "Kendall."

He nodded while still looking at the TV. "Um, so...no. They don't."

I blurted out my next question without even pausing. "Will they ever know?"

Kendall swallowed hard enough for me to hear it. He didn't answer.

The TV droned on, the laugh track feeling almost purposefully pointed when Kendall's silence was so loud.

Kendall liked me. I knew that. It was more than just fun and fooling around, I could tell. I'd had fuck buddies before, I'd had a lot of them, in college and after. I'd even had a few closet-case fuck buddies.

They were ashamed of me, usually, or mad at me. They definitely weren't holding my hand while calling their grandmas kind of guys. They weren't like Kendall.

Kendall hated my guys, except that he didn't. He was gay, except that he wasn't. If a tree fell in the forest, did anyone even hear it?

I didn't really understand the thing in my chest that flipped and pulsed when Kendall looked at me, but I knew it was there, and I knew it was real. I knew that this something could become _the_ something, or the...I didn't know.

But I _did_ know that if Kendall wasn't willing to move past glaring at me in the office because of how I made him feel, then we were never going to have a chance to really explore this thing between us. Not really.

I'd come out so long ago, it was difficult for me to remember that feeling. That pressure all around you, keeping you stifled. Sometimes the pressure was other people, sometimes yourself-it felt the same either way.

But still...Kendall wasn't being himself. Not like this. How could he be happy _not_ being himself? Hiding this huge part of himself from so many people?

Was he ashamed? Embarrassed? I couldn't work it out. How could Kendall truly commit to anything, or anyone, if he was lying to himself and everyone around him?

The anger I felt was partially unjustified, and I knew that. But it grew just as strongly as if it was deserved. I looked away.

"You're...angry?"

I didn't respond. I couldn't look at him. I hated the feeling inside of my chest, the one that was bubbling up and _mad_. I didn't know when, during this trip I had switched into really, actively wanting something from Kendall, but I did know that right now was when I felt it being taken away from me.

It stung. I was stinging, and Kendall had said my name twice before the stinging stopped hurting long enough for me to look at him.

His eyebrows were pinned together and his lips were pursed, turned down at the ends. He had the same look of concentration he'd wear during exams, when we had a meeting with a team leader. I didn't understand what was going on, but it looked like Kendall didn't either, even though he desperately wanted to do well.

"How did you do it?" Kendall asked. "How did you come out to your parents?"

I turned the TV off. Kendall bit his bottom lip, worrying it between his teeth.

In a flash, the anger started to seep away. I retook his hand. I hadn't even realized I'd dropped it. I cleared my throat.

"I was sixteen. I had just met Dak. I had known for years, but after meeting him...well, there wasn't really any hiding it after that. I told my mom as soon as he asked me out." I said, chuckling a little at the memory.

"I got so excited that I forgot to actually come out. I just told her I had a date and that for some insane reason, the most popular guy in school chose _me_ , and then we went to the store and bought new pants."

"New pants?" Kendall looked surprised.

I shrugged. "I had a date. Needed to look nice."

He let out a surprised laugh, and after a second, I laughed with him. "That's so...uneventful."

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, yeah. It was uneventful, but it...it doesn't have to be a big deal, you know? Gay people exist."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "Don't turn this into an After-School Special."

"I'm not...no, Kendall, seriously, I just….I don't get it, you know. You not wanting to say anything. I don't get it, but I can try. I _will_ try. But for me, it just...I don't know. I had a date, you know. I wanted to tell my mom."

Kendall looked at me hard, his green eyes burning in their search across my face. He looked away. "I-I'm not like that."

"Like what?"

"Carefree."

"Carefree?" I parroted.

Kendall sighed. "I...I just mean, I don't have that kind of...I'm just not like that. You're so put together, you're so willing to just _be_." He huffed in frustration, struggling to get whatever he was trying to say out. "I'm jealous, I guess. I'm not like that."

I considered what he'd said. And then I laughed. "Kendall." I scooted closer to him and gathered both of his hands. "I'm not like that either. I _don't_ have it together. I just...can do what needs to be done. Life's too short, and...hell, maybe I need to be more like you."

Kendall surged across the remaining space and kissed me. He framed my face with his hands and kissed me, hard and sure and possessive in a way that had me rolling onto my back and tugging him down with me.

He kissed me until we were both breathless.

"I like this." Kendall said. His words came out a little breathy, too full of air, and he had his eyes closed. He hovered above me and licked his lips nervously. "I like this and I...I like you."

He looked pained to say it. I grinned. "I like this, too."

His eyes popped open. He looked nervous. I wondered if the flipping butterflies in my chest were the same as the ones in his, wondered if he felt as breathless as I did, just from the words that we had let out.

"Does this mean I have to be nice to you at work?" Kendall asked.

I laughed, burying my face in his neck. I nipped at the skin there and pulled away to fake glare at him. "Hey, Kendall?"

"Yeah?"

"Fuck off."

"Okay." Kendall smiled and kissed me on the bridge of my nose before rolling off of me and turning the TV back on.

The sitcom was at the end, everyone smiling and laughing together. The laugh track wasn't quite as annoying anymore.

He slipped his hand into mine, and I didn't think about insecurities for the rest of the night.

* * *

 **Done! So, it looks like Kames are enjoying themselves and getting closer. :)**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/chapter!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed! I'm not exactly sure when the next chapter will be up, but there is a chance it'll be up tomorrow, so we'll see what happens. :P**

 **Until next time!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello everyone! Back again with another chapter!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to Side1ways, Guest, winterschild11, RainbowDiamonds, and XxxAnimaniacxxX for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

The shower's steam of steady water was highlighted by James' truly terrible voice as he belted out the worst rendition of Bon Jovi I'd ever heard. I winced, pulling the toothbrush out of my mouth.

"Please stop." I begged for the hundredth time. James didn't even stick his head out from the shower curtain. He just sang louder.

I brushed my teeth quickly and tried to ignore the fact that James was somehow walking the line of annoying and adorable so easily, I feared he'd stay on it forever.

I spat in the sink and rinsed off my toothbrush. I grabbed my jaw and moved it, squinting in the mirror. The five o'clock shadow I was sporting was quickly growing out. James had woken up this morning with plenty of stubble on his jaw, and as _incredible_ as it looked on him I wasn't quite sure I was pulling it off.

Halfway through the contemplation, James' phone rang.

"James." I said. He didn't stop singing. "James, your phone."

He sighed and his head popped out from the curtains. He had his hair spiked up with soap, some of it dripping near his closed eyes. "Just answer it. Unless it's my mom. Then you better not answer it."

I laughed and rolled my eyes, shaking my head when he started in on another verse of Dead or Alive. I left the bathroom and found his phone plugged in on the nightstand.

"Hi, this is Kendall."

"Uh, I'm looking for James. This is Mark. I'm his mechanic."

"Oh, hi! I'm James' business partner. Is the car okay?" I asked as I sat on the bed.

"Oh, yes. The car is ready to go."

"Awesome!" I covered the phone with my hand and called out, "Car's done!"

James whooped, and the shower turned off.

"-and I had to admit, it was weird." The mechanic was saying.

I frowned. "Wait, the car was weird?"

"Oh, no. The car was fine. It's just that most people wouldn't wait longer than necessary to fix the car."

I wrinkled my nose. James came out of the bathroom, one towel wrapped around his waist and the other scrubbing at the water in his hair. "I don't get what you mean."

James mouthed _What is it?_ I shrugged back at him.

"I gave your friend the option to order the part overnight or regular." Mark clarified. "He chose the slow way."

My head snapped up and I locked eyes with James. He tilted his head in confusion.

The mechanic was still talking. "Anyway, I'll have the car delivered to you now. It should be there in about ten minutes."

I swallowed. "Okay, thank you."

I hung the phone up and carefully sat it on the nightstand. James was watching me warily. "What happened?"

"Car's ready." I said.

He nodded, shoulders relaxing. He went over to grab his clothes. I watched him as he dressed.

He tugged on his jeans and slipped a t-shirt over his head. I played the mechanic's words over in my head.

"Kendall, man, what's wrong?" James frowned at me as he slid on his watch.

"Did you purposefully keep us here longer than we had to be?" I asked.

James froze. It was just for a half-second, but after five days together, I could see it; the way his muscles locked before he had to manually relax. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean." I stood up. "Did you?"

James sighed. "I...didn't pay for the overnight. Harris hadn't approved it."

"Bullshit!" I snapped. "You know as well as I do that Harris would have paid it."

"Oh, do I now?"

"Is this some sort of trick?"

"A trick?" James quirked his eyebrow, smiling, as if I was being ridiculous.

Anger pulsed through me with a vengeance. "Yes. Is it a trick? Are you trying to get me fired?"

"By waiting an extra two days? Come on. That's ridiculous."

"I am not ridiculous." I closed the space between us in two strides. James' eyes widened.

"I didn't say-" James started before cutting himself off, shaking his head. "Besides, I'd be in just as much trouble as you."

Sure, except that...I remembered the ease with which James had convinced me _he'd_ be the one to call Harris and explain the situation, how he had been handling all the correspondence with the boss. He's always stepped outside when he'd done it, distracted me with whatever he had at hand when I worried about it. "I don't believe you."

"Kendall-"

I turned anyway and started shoving my clothes into my duffle.

"What are you doing?"

I gritted my teeth. "The car will be here in a few minutes. We've got _work_ to do."

James' hand closed around my shoulder. I jerked away.

"Listen, I can explain."

"Fuck off, James. Let's just...get on with it."

James was silent, and then I heard his own duffle bag unzip and him mutter a quick, angry _whatever_.

I packed as hastily as I could, dropping the motel key on the bed for James to deal with, and went outside to wait for the car.

My head was spinning. James _lied_ to me. Even if he really wasn't trying to get me fired, even if he hadn't been lying to Harris, which was hard enough to believe, he had been lying to me. Lies of omission were still lies, and everyone over the age to ten knew that.

My stomach hurt. It was twisting and turning, and my organs were in pain. My chest ached, too. I didn't know exactly what it was that was hurting so badly, but I knew that I did not want to be feeling it right now.

With a start, I realized that I had _trusted_ James. I had trusted him, let my guard down, felt things, told him things, things that...whatever. It didn't matter now.

I didn't matter now, and I had been an idiot to think for even a second that it had mattered then.

The car pulled up, followed by a truck. The mechanic wasn't the guy I remembered seeing, but he let me sign the receipts, handed me the keys, and jumped into the truck.

I was in the passenger seat when James came out of the motel lobby. He threw his bag in the back seat and closed the door gently. When he sat down, I looked out the window.

"Are you planning on ignoring me for the rest of forever, or just this drive?"

My teeth bit into my bottom lip to keep me from saying anything. James sighed.

The radio played low tunes that now even James had the energy to listen to. We drove quietly the rest of the way to LA.

We stopped for gas once. James threw a bottle of water at me so hard I thought I'd have a bruise on my chest for the next week.

He opened his mouth as if to apologize. I looked away. He got back into the car quietly.

A low thrum of guilt was pushing its way up my throat. I knew I was being too unyielding, almost unnecessarily rude to him, but it _hurt_. The betrayal that James hadn't even discussed with me.

I tried to tell myself that James would never actually lie, that he wouldn't actually rat on me to Harris, especially when I had never done anything wrong. Except... _did_ I know that? Really?

Five days with a guy who I'd previously thought hated me, whom I'd previously thought _I_ hated...was that really enough to say for sure that I knew him? That I knew what he would or wouldn't do for a promotion?

We pulled up at the offices where the package had to be delivered. James offered to take it inside.

"Why, so you can make sure it gets back to Harris that I was slacking off with this, too?" I snapped before grabbing the package from the backseat. "I've got it."

I delivered the package, shook hands with the clients, and called Harris before I made my way back out to the car. He seemed surprised to be hearing from me, but glad that the package was delivered. I assured him we'd be back in the office on Monday.

James was standing outside of the car, arms crossed over his chest and ankles locked. He stood like this a lot, and the low thrum of desire I had become used to curled in my stomach at the sight.

His hazel eyes were bright, locked on me as I walked across the parking lot. His hair was a wild mess, having dried right after the shower and then been tugged on for the whole drive up here. He hadn't bother shaving.

I hated how badly I still wanted him.

My phone rang in my hand, startling me. "Fuck!"

James smirked. I glared at him as I answered it quickly. "Hello?"

"Kendall?" Grandma's voice cut through the sexual tension easily.

I stopped in my tracks. "Grandma?" She sniffled. I frowned. "What's wrong?"

"It's Bill." She said quietly. Her voice was wrong-too frail too soft, too _something_ I couldn't quite place my finger on.

"Grandpa? What happened?"

James stood straighter. I looked away from him.

"Grandpa had a bit of a spell. He was...you _know_ I always tell him to wait for you, but he wanted to get it done, and he was on one of those ladders, and he just fell."

My heart slammed to a stop. "Is...is he okay?"

"He's in the hospital." She said. "You need to get home as soon as you can, sweetie."

I waved at James and started toward the car. He quickly got into the driver's seat. "Grandma? It's going to be okay. I'm on my way home right now. I'll be there soon. Are you at the hospital?"

James' head whipped to me. I ignored him. Grandma let out a very quiet _yes_. "I'll be there soon, okay?"

"Yes, yes, it's okay. No need to worry." Grandma didn't sound very convincing.

"I'll call you in a few hours. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Reluctantly, I hung up the phone. I buckled my seat and looked over; James was driving fifty. "Surely you can go faster than this."

James' eyebrows rose, but he stepped harder on the pedal and our speedometer sped up.

I didn't know how long we'd been driving when I startled awake. I jumped, my head hitting the top of the car. "Shit." I rubbed my head and blinked awake, looking around. "Wait, are we stopping?"

The car was idling in a hotel parking lot. I looked at James. He was blinking rapidly, his eyes bloodshot. He looked horrible. "I...Kendall, look, it's four in the morning. I did my best."

"We can't stop." I said, feeling the panic start to rise. "James! My grandpa is in the hospital. We can't stop."

"I've been driving for twelve hours."

"Then I can drive!"

James froze. After a second, I caught up.

My shoulders slumped. "I...okay. Okay. Okay, but just a few hours, right? I know...I mean, we gotta get back, so just a few hours?"

I chanced a glance at James. He looked stuck. When he thawed, his eyes flickered across my face and he set his mouth in a determined line.

Very slowly, James swallowed. His hand trembled as he lowered it to the seat buckle. "You can drive."

My breath caught in my throat. "What?"

"You...it's...you can drive. My car." He reached over and clicked my own seat belt. I was too surprised to say anything about it.

"James, I…" I didn't know what to say.

Maybe: _I know how big this is for you._ Or, _this doesn't change anything._ Or, _For God's sake, thank you._

We traded seats. I adjusted the seat, the mirrors, and turned down the radio. I buckled my seat belt, and after I did so, James scrambled to get his own done. He leaned far away from me, pressing to the door, his eyes glued to my hands as they went to the steering wheel.

"I'll be safe." I said.

James swallowed. "It's my car, so you better be." His tone just missed breezy.

"Sleep, if you can. We can switch when you're rested if you want."

James nodded, a little too rapidly for me to believe he was okay, but I pushed the car into drive and slowly got back on the highway. It took nearly an hour, but eventually James relaxed in his seat. By dawn, exhaustion overtook him as he fell asleep.

I wanted to shake him awake, to demand answers now that I had the time to sit on the anger and guilt and hurt that had been bubbling under my skin all day. But that didn't matter. Not right now, not anymore.

All that actually mattered was getting home.

* * *

After nearly twenty-one hours in the car, with just a few stops at gas stations and sleeping while Kendall drove, there was almost no sight quite as beautiful as the _Welcome to Seattle_ sign.

I nearly cried when I passed it. Kendall was asleep in the passenger seat next to me, having passed out as soon as we switched seats.

We'd barely said three words to each other since Kendall had gotten the phone call. I had tried a few times, but his anger was intense, especially when coupled with his worry over his grandfather.

I'd tried to respect it. But now we were back in Seattle, and if I let Kendall go without saying anything, I might never get the chance again.

I pulled the car over. When it was parked, I looked over at Kendall. His face was relaxed, head on his jacket that was pooled against the window.

I got out of the car, the door slamming behind me. Kendall startled awake the sound.

The sun had gone down, the air chilly now. I crossed my arms, wrapping them around myself as I walked off from the car. My skin was tingling, something like panic bubbling in my stomach.

It was the driving, the whiplash of emotions, Kendall being angry at me when, hell, I was kind of angry at him. It was a lot of things-it was physical now.

My stomach churned. Kendall's car door opened, his feet against the gravel louder than the traffic on the side of us.

His hands clasped on my shoulder and spun me around. His eyes flickered across my face, his expression almost as angry as his voice. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What am I doing? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Kendall's mouth fell open. "You...we're in Seattle, why did you stop driving?"

"I'm sorry that I needed a second."

I turned my back to him. My heart beat fast in my chest, the thumping so loud I was sure that Kendall could hear it, could hear how close it was to breaking.

 _Get ahold of yourself,_ I snapped silently.

Kendall huffed in annoyance. The heartache was starting to shift to panic, to meld with the fear that I'd never be able to see him again.

I _knew_ Kendall-I knew that if I let him leave, if we stopped this trip with things the way they were, we'd never make it. Hell, we barely had a snowball's chance of making it as it was. I wouldn't be able to get him to talk to me, to _try_ with me, once we went back to our regular lives.

The knowledge _hurt_.

"What are you doing?" He asked again.

I pushed the hurt down; anger came rearing up to take its place. I spun around and jabbed a finger at his chest. "What am I doing? You have the _nerve_ to ask me that?! You don't know what the fuck you're doing."

"What?"

"You're living a _lie_ , Kendall! You're a big, fat queer and you're pretending like that doesn't matter!"

Kendall's face fell and then hardened. "You have no right to say that to me."

"Fuck,I have more of a right to ask you than you do me. You should be asking yourself what _you're_ doing."

Kendall knocked my arm away and glared at me. The look was vicious, cutting straight through me, like bright hot iron through skin. "You've been _lying_ to me!"

"Oh, fuck off. You can be angry with me all you want. But you're the one lying. You're lying to yourself." I swallowed hard, trying quell the burst of anger that was draining from me quickly. "This isn't the time, though, and-"

"Fuck that." Kendall snapped. "Say what you want to say."

My eyes burned and I blinked rapidly to keep anything from falling. I felt a bit on fire. "Do you even feel anything for me?"

Kendall swallowed hard. He turned his glare to the ground. The moon was bright enough that I could see the way his bottom lip was trapped between his teeth, the way his hands were curled into fists by his side. The road was silent now, no passing cars to make Kendall's silence less harsh.

He didn't say anything.

I closed the space between us and kissed him. It was rough, hard, and I felt the way his gasp flew into my mouth.

As soon as he started kissing me back, I pulled away. "Tell me that meant nothing to you."

Kendall said nothing. He glared at me, eyes hard as he searched my face for something. I don't know if he found it, but then he had his hands fisted in my shirt and he was pressed against me, kissing me as hard as I had kissed him.

I knocked him away and shoved him against the car door.

"You're a hypocrite." I spat.

He glared at me and opened his mouth to argue. I cut him off with a kiss.

He bit my bottom lip; I shoved my tongue into his mouth.

I couldn't tell if it was his hands or mine that undid our belts, but then our pants were pushed down and I had my hand curled around Kendall's growing erection. It was only at half-mast, but a few hard squeezes as we kissed and he was ready to go.

Kendall had one hand tightly wound in my hair, his fingernails scraping angrily against my scalp, while the other was inside my boxers, teasing, soft movements that had me aching within moments.

We slid each other out of our boxers. The cold wind bit at my bare skin, but the fire beneath was more than enough to keep me warm. Kendall's hand wrapped around both of us; the harsh slide of rough skin against our wet, gliding dicks had us both canting our hips forward, fucking hard into his fist.

One of my hands clung to Kendall's shoulder, my fingers digging into the material of his shirt, and the other one closed around the parts of our cocks that Kendall's hand couldn't. It was rough, and too dry, and Kendall kept biting my lip purposefully.

I couldn't breathe, and I didn't care. I didn't want to breathe. I just wanted to _feel_ something besides this horrible, furious ache inside of my chest.

Kendall's thumb slid across the head of my cock and I cursed loudly, yanking away from his kiss to mouth at his neck. He had the fading bruises of our time together just underneath his shirt collar. I bit hard on his upper neck and sucked a hard kiss on him as his hips started jutting forward with renewed purpose.

I littered his neck with purple and red marks, biting and licking, uncaring about what parts of him I claimed as _mine_. If this was all I was going to get-a harsh hand fuck against a car, when we were both so angry and hurt we could cry-then I was going to make it worth everything I could.

Kendall's head was thrown back against the car, slow, languid moans pulling out of his throat as his hips fought against his hands pace. I could feel my own hips circling, desperate, trying to touch every bit of Kendall's skin that I could.

Kendall's hips froze. "James-"

I cut him off and kissed him. It was nothing more than open mouths pressed together, hands tightening, and then it was over. We came over each other's fists, both of our hips crashing into each other.

The high wore off in seconds.

I tore away from Kendall and wiped my hands on my boxers, quickly putting myself away. I redid my belt with my back to Kendall.

My chest felt hollow. For the briefest of moments, I wished I'd never met him.

Kendall cleared his throat. I heard the car door open. I heard him climb in and slowly close it.

I took a deep breath and went around to the driver's side.

Kendall was staring out the windshield, his face hard. He spoke as I turned the key over in the ignition. "You don't get to turn this around on me."

I scoffed. Kendall glared, but didn't turn to me.

"You're the one who lied. You tried to sabotage my career." Kendall continued as he tugged on his seatbelt, fingers closing around the strap hard enough that his knuckles turned white.

"I didn't sabotage your career, you idiot."

"You took every opportunity to call Harris." He continued as if I hadn't spoken. The anger from earlier was back full force, heady and heavy as it clouded my thoughts and vision. "Your only real purpose here was trying to impress the boss."

"I don't fucking need to impress the boss!"

"Oh, cause your work ethic is so _spectacular_!" Kendall still wouldn't look at me.

"Because he's my fucking uncle!"

If Kendall had been frozen before, this was something entirely new. His whole body locked; he didn't even blink.

All of the fight went out of me as the regret finally cut through the anger. Jesus, out of everything I could have said, why had I said _that_? "Kendall, that's-"

"Fucking drive. Or I will." He finally turned and looked at me.

He didn't look angry at all.

My hands shook as I pulled us back onto the road. Kendall's quiet was deafening.

I had ruined everything.

* * *

 **Done! So, yeah, it looks like things are kind of going downhill for Kames.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed! Sadly, the next chapter probably won't be up until this weekend.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter alert!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, RainbowDiamonds, Side1ways, and XxxAnimaniacxxX for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

James was Harris' nephew.

I couldn't tell if this feeling, thick and slimy and crawling through my veins, was shock at the revelation, or the complete and utter despair of being unsurprised.

Of _course_ James was related to the boss-he showed up late, had a bad attitude, was always somehow getting ahead.

I'd thought I was getting to know the real James over this trip. I had only been falling for a _lie_.

This whole trip was nothing more than a joke. I had never stood a chance at promotion against the boss's own family.

I was probably going to get fired or demoted. I'd been fucking with the boss's nephew, and, fuck, did we even have policies in place at work for having a relationship with a coworker? I had never bothered looking into it before.

James probably knew. He'd probably tell everyone that I had seduced him, the dumb gay idiot, and now I'd be fired, and everyone would know why.

I wanted to curl in onto myself. Wanted to be asleep in my own bed, weeks before this trip had ever happened. I wished I had never met James Diamond.

We were nearing my neighborhood when he spoke.

"I'm sorry." James said softly. "I knew this would look bad. I _know_ what it looks like, but...I honestly didn't get the job because Harris is my uncle, and it makes no difference, but I know what it looks like, and that's why I never said anything."

I glanced at him, then looked away without speaking.

James slapped his hands on the steering wheel. I jumped, but kept my gaze focused on the blurry scenery outside of the window.

We were only ten minutes out. After forty hours in the car with James in the past week, ten minutes should have felt like nothing.

Instead, it hurt.

I thought about waking up that last day in the motel, James still asleep. We had been pressed together, legs intertwined, his breathing deep and heavy and relaxed.

A few times during this trip, I had thought that maybe this something between us-this maybe, this hopeful, this could be-would grow into something bigger.

I didn't know how it would work, logically. I didn't know _if_ it would work, logically. But for a few times during the trip, I'd really, truly wanted it to work.

He had lied to me. He had lied to me again and again, and he had wasted my time, sabotaged my career. He had pulled me out of my shell, just to make sure that I'd be stepped on.

My throat felt itchy and full, my eyes burning. I hadn't meant to, but I had trusted James. And now…

He pulled the car up to my road. The apartment looked exactly the same as it had when I left. My old truck was parked across the street.

I swallowed heavily. Then I did it again when the first time didn't really help.

I wanted to throw myself across the car and kiss James. I could still taste him on my lips from earlier, could feel the bright ache of the bruises he'd sucked into my neck, could still feel the phantom pulse of his warm body wriggling against mine. I wanted to kiss him, wanted to forgive him. I wanted him to come to the hospital with me.

I looked away. "Thanks for the ride."

"Kendall-"

I ignored him and slid from the car before grabbing my bag out of the backseat. I hesitated before closing the door.

James' eyes were bloodshot. His hair looked a mess, as if he had run his hands through it numerous times. The relaxed demeanor he usually had was gone. He looked...sad.

He'd always looked like he was one step ahead, like he was telling a joke no one else knew. He didn't look like that now.

I wanted to kiss him.

I looked away. "Goodnight."

He called after me; I ignored him. I walked straight to my truck, digging in my bag for the keys. I drove away before James had pulled his car from the curb.

The route to the hospital was unfamiliar, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that every mile I drove was a mile I had put between James and me, a mile that I had left him behind.

I had thought something could become real between us, but now I knew that could never happen. It stung.

It wasn't just that he lied; it wasn't just that Harris was his uncle. The problem was that James was right.

How could I ever commit to anyone, how could anything be _real_ , when I wasn't able to actually be me?

This whole thing had been a pipe dream.

For the first time since all this had started happening, since I'd heard that Grandpa was in the hospital, since I'd kissed James, I felt myself give in to the overwhelming feeling pressing at my every limb.

I made it to the hospital fifteen minutes later with shaking hands and a red, puffy face.

There was too much to do, too many things to fix, to live in some fantasy world. I was here now. I needed to focus on what really mattered, and pipe dreams, and guys with pretty faces, weren't what mattered.

At least not for me.

* * *

As insane as the road trip had been, it stopped mattering within moments.

One second, everything was high intensity, and Kendall's warm hands on my body, and cold shoulder when we weren't touching, and then...he was driving away with only a terse _goodnight_ between us.

It had been four days since that night, and I hadn't heard a thing from Kendall.

He hadn't even come into work.

Kendall _never_ missed work; he had perfect attendance, which was why he was so pissed when he thought that I'd reported him for being late. It wasn't like the company put five-minute tardies into our files but, fuck, Kendall normally acted like it.

But then Monday passed, and no one had even heard from him. He hadn't even bothered calling.

Tuesday passed, and this time at least, Carlos said that Kendall had called and said he wasn't coming in because of a family emergency.

I asked if it was his grandfather. Carlos had frowned and shrugged; he'd never had a chance to ask.

By Wednesday, I was seconds away from pulling my hair out by the roots. I hadn't shaved, hadn't eaten, or slept, or done a bit of work since we came back. I just...couldn't. Every time I tried to do something normal, it felt _wrong_.

I was wrong.

Kendall had ruined me, and now he didn't even have the decency to show up to work for me to be mad at.

Thursday after work, I still hadn't heard from him. He hadn't come into work or replied to my texts. I had only sent two-

 _Is everyone okay?_

And, _Can we talk?_

He had read both. Normally, leaving me on read would have me making a joke about him being a basic Scorpio bitch, but now...with how we'd left things…

I felt sick to my stomach every time I thought about it.

He owed it to me to tell me that everyone was at least _alive_ , didn't he? Fuck him. He knew I cared. Could have cared. _Did_ care.

It was semantics-I was worried. I wanted to tell him that I cared. He wouldn't pick up the damn phone.

I thought about asking Harris to call him in, so I could just have a second. But then I remembered his face when he'd found out that I hadn't overnighted the package, when he'd thought I was manipulating him, and forced the idea away. Good intentions and whatnot.

And I owed it to him to promise that nothing bad would happen. I knew he didn't believe my relationship with Harris didn't affect my job here, but he had honestly thought I was _sabotaging_ him. I had to make sure he knew that when he came back to work, there would be a job waiting for him.

I waited until work ended on Thursday before driving over to his apartment. The ugly blue truck was parked there, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I made it all the way to the door before I realized I had no fucking idea which apartment was his.

"Please be a giant fucking nerd." I prayed, reading through the list of tenants with buzzers.

And, like the insane rule-follower that Kendall was, there was Knight, K listed on the box. I quickly tapped the buzzer a few times.

At first, no one answered. I did it again and again until he finally answered.

"Fuck yeah." I muttered under my breath. I looked at the apartment number again-5J-and then went inside.

I took the stairs two at a time.

When I made it to 5J, I knocked hard and then started to panic.

What the fuck was I _doing_? Kendall didn't want to talk to me. And I was here to...what? Say hi? How was he even going to take me saying his job was fine? The guy was a paranoid nutcase; he would probably take that as a threat.

This was a horrible idea.

I turned to leave.

The apartment door opened. I froze.

"Uh, hey?"

I turned around slowly. It wasn't Kendall. Relief filled me. "Oh, sorry. Wrong apartment."

"No worries-" The guy stopped, narrowing his eyes. "You look familiar."

"I'm not." I said quickly, realization of who this was dawning on me.

He cocked his head. "No, yeah, I definitely know you."

I shook my head quickly and started back toward the stairs. "Nope! Total stranger. Wrong door."

"You're...holy shit! You're James, right? From college? Kendall's James?"

My whole body thrummed like I had been electrocuted. Slowly, I repeated, "Kendall's James?"

The guy laughed, snapping his fingers. "Yeah, that's you. Arch nemesis life ruiner, right?"

There was a pang of hurt, but I mostly brushed it off. "That's me."

"Ah, awesome." The guy was still grinning. "I'm Logan, Kendall's roomate."

"Um...hey?"

"Hey." The guy looked around the hallway and asked, "I'm guessing you're looking for Kendall?"

I wondered if it would be weird to say no. I shrugged indifferently.

He nodded, as if that made total sense. "He's at the hospital. The one of the corner of Brand and King? You know, if you need to see him."

I swallowed hard. I didn't need to see him. It wasn't important. And it was a bad idea.

I thanked him and practically ran away. I made it back to my car with my heart slamming in my chest.

Then I drove to the hospital.

This was crazy. I was going all the way to the hospital, where he was with his _ailing_ grandparents, and going to do what? Ask him when he's coming back to work?

I groaned. I got out of the car anyway, and went to the front of the hospital. I paced by the benches, trying to work up the courage to make a fucking decision.

Kendall came outside before I managed to move one way or the other.

He froze. The older woman at his side, with a huge pool of hair tied on the top of her head, kept walking for a second before looking back at him, frowning.

My mouth felt too dry. I didn't know what to do.

"James?" Kendall took a step forward, then stopped. He looked between me and his grandma, eyes wide.

I swallowed hard. "Um, hey."

"Kendall? Who is this?" His grandma placed her hand on Kendall's arm, drawing his full attention. His face was pale.

Kendall took a long pause, just looking at his grandmother, before he stood straight and turned. He looked me in the eye, his mouth a sharp, firm line, and shrugged. "No one. Just someone from work."

It was a punch to the chest. I couldn't breathe. I nodded, too rapidly, feeling my breath starting to go too fast in my lungs as the ache I had been barely keeping at bay started to spread all through my body.

His grandmother frowned as she looked between us before settling her gaze one me. "Oh. It's really nice to meet you."

I wanted to scream; cry. I plastered a polite smile on my face. "Nice to meet you, ma'am."

Kendall grabbed her by the shoulder and gently led her away from me. I could hear them talking quietly as they moved past me to the parking lot.

I couldn't move. My feet were frozen against the concrete beneath me.

I knew this had been a bad idea, but I had still…

Fuck it. It didn't matter.

Kendall had been nothing but a quiet annoyance, a workplace amusement, for _years_ , and what? A few good lays, and now I was all heartbroken over him? A closet case who was too afraid to tell his _grandma_ who he really was, even if it meant he could, I don't know, actually be happy?

He was a messy, dramatic bitch, and I was better off away from him.

Except even thinking the regular, casual joke that had been a running gag about Kendall for years hurt now.

There were rumors that Spectrum was opening a new branch on the East Coast. Maybe I could see if Harris would transfer me there.

Sure, I'd miss Lucy, but how hard would it be to convince her to move with me? The girl spent half her time in London anyway. And, yes, it would throw a wrench in my weekly dinners with Mom, and I actually _really_ liked that burger place by my apartment, but…

Fuck. At least in Boston, my chest wouldn't feel like _this_.

Eventually, I managed to get my feet unstuck and make it back to my car.

Fuck him. Fuck him, and fuck that dumb part of my chest that felt like it was caving in. Fuck the week we'd spent together, and the part of me that had thought maybe it meant more-the part of me that had thought maybe, this time, this guy, was worth finally moving on for.

Fuck Kendall.

* * *

Every time James spoke to me, my hands shook.

The first time he said something to me, back at work, it was because I was taking too long at the copier. I'd only been at work an hour, having spent the last week in and out of the hospital as Grandpa recovered from surgery, and the mountain of work waiting for me had my head spinning before I had even started to drink coffee.

I didn't notice James coming behind me until he spoke.

"Are you going to take all fucking day?"

I dropped the pages from my hand in surprise. He barked out a loud laugh. "Great, go slower. Waste _more_ of my time."

I swallowed and avoided his eye as I grabbed the pages.

The double edge of his words weren't lost on me, even as our coworkers raised their eyebrows and avoided us. I finished copying what I needed and went back to my desk without saying anything.

The second time, I spilled coffee on my pants. It burned, sharp and hot, but at least James didn't see it. He had just been taking lunch orders, and asked if I thought I could make up my mind; he had already turned around before I had spilled the coffee.

His hostility was close enough to his normal jabs at me that no one in the office really noticed. I was the only one that saw his smile wasn't laughing, but hurt, his eyes narrowed in pent-up anger instead of amusement, like they used to be.

It was sandwiched in between him looking at me with a month's worth of apologies written on his face. I was sure mine looked the same. I was sure that some of the others saw that I had all but stopped responding at all, but I had never been very close to anyone at Spectrum. No one said anything.

Just James-and each time, it shocked the hell out of me. It hurt, too.

I didn't know what I was supposed to say. I didn't know how to _fix_ us. I didn't know if there was an _us_ to even fix, or if anything was worth it at all.

I was sorry, _really_ sorry. The farther away from the trip we got, the more I could see that James really hadn't meant anything by the lies.

Clearly, he hadn't been trying to get me fired. It had been two weeks, and I was still here. If anything, my job had gotten _better_. The other higher-ups now knew that Harris would call on me to do tasks for him, and were giving me better work because of it.

The fight we'd had...it was something we could work past.

I wasn't so angry about the lying anymore, and James…

I knew that it wasn't how he lived his life. I knew that not being able to come out was something that he couldn't understand, wouldn't understand. But just because I couldn't tell my grandparents about me didn't mean that James and I couldn't figure _something_ out. We could work around it.

Except that every time I went to say that to him, James would turn his wide, hurt eyes on me, the hazel almost blinding in its brightness, and I couldn't get the words out. I couldn't get any words out.

Two weeks on the dot since we'd been back and James came to work with a haircut. It was ridiculous to miss the wild hair, to think that the close cut had something to do with me.

I looked away and swallowed back to a new round of pain.

Work was too busy for me to be obsessing over James, but that had never stopped me before. Just because the obsessing was different now, worse now, didn't make it any less true.

I was in the office supply closet, searching haplessly for the little air cans that cleaned keyboards, when James walked in.

"Oh, sorry." He said, before looking up. His eyes narrowed when he saw it was me. "Oh."

"Hi." I said, even though it sounded weak even to my own ears. I winced. James' jaw ticked.

"Am I in the way?" I asked.

James huffed. He crossed his arms over his chest. "No."

"Oh, good." I said lamely. He took a deep breath, as if he were trying not to say something.

I bit my bottom lip.

His eyes focused on it.

A bit of hope flared in my chest. "James, can we talk?"

"No." He said sharply.

I nodded. James didn't move.

I took a step toward him. He slammed the door closed behind him. The sound was quiet, though, the door automatically slowing even though I could see how hard he'd thrown it.

He was angry. I could work with that.

I took another step. He clenched his jaw, tilting his face away from me.

"James." His name felt good on my lips, against my tongue. I couldn't remember the last time I'd said it, just for him, like this.

It was my fault. I was the one who'd gotten angry first. I was the one who'd ignored him when we got back, who'd refused to talk to him when I saw him at the hospital when he was clearly trying to fix things.

This was on me.

I had no idea how to fix it.

"James." I said it again. His eyes closed. I took that, clinging to it. "If we can't talk, what can we do?"

James' eyes flew open.

They locked onto my lips. Inadvertently, my tongue slipped out and swiped across the swell of my bottom lip. I swallowed nervously at the hard inhale of breath he gave.

Slowly, James closed the distance between us. His hands hesitated before coming up. One grabbed my wrist while the other hooked a finger inside of my pant loop. He spun us around, throwing me against the door. It lit a spark of pain in my back, but nothing bad-just bright. Just something tangible, something I could feel.

I licked my lips. Said his name again.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked raggedly.

I nodded quickly. "Yes."

He didn't waste another second. His lips found mine, harsh and sure, as our mouths reconnected for the first time since that night against his car.

James was still angry, I knew that. But this felt...different.

It wasn't rough or biting. It was...hard, desperate. James kissed me like he was desperate to tell me something. I didn't know what, but I knew what I was trying to convey with my own desperation, my own deep, slow kisses.

I reached out to grab at his hair, short as it was now. James caught my wrist. He grabbed both of my hands and raised them above my head, holding them there in one hand. I complied; his other hand fell to my pants.

"James, what are-"

He cut me off with a hard kiss. I could understand this one: _shut the fuck up._

James' tongue swept across my bottom lip before licking his way into my mouth. His fingernails dug into the skin on my wrists. He undid my belt easily and popped open the button on my jeans.

He worked his way down my throat, light kisses and sweeps of his tongue that wouldn't leave any more marks. I missed the hard way he'd kissed me, the way he would suck punishing bruises into my skin just to mark me as his.

I wanted to tell him it was okay-that he could do whatever he wanted. I was afraid of saying anything that would break the spell.

I missed James. His mouth on my skin, his fingers deftly slipping beneath the waistband of my pants-I missed him more now than I had when he hadn't been speaking to me.

"Is this still okay?" He asked against my throat.

I nodded and, when I realized he couldn't see me, let out a shaky, "Yes."

His hand dropped from my wrists, and in a second he was on his knees, taking me out of my boxers.

"Tell me if you want me to stop." James said, locking eyes with me.

His eyes were almost nearly all pupil. I swallowed hard.

"Okay." I whispered. I was trembling against the door. I could hear the shuffling of papers outside, chairs scraping and keys tapping away. Anyone could come in here-the door didn't lock, and it opened out. If anyone wanted to walk in, I'd go falling, and James would probably bite my dick off.

I wondered if that was part of the plan.

And then he licked a stripe up the underside of my already hard cock, and I didn't care.

"James." I moaned out.

He glared up at me. "Can you keep fucking quiet?"

I swallowed. As soon as I nodded, he parted his lips and swallowed me down.

I bit hard on my hand, eyes squeezing shut as I tried to keep myself from letting out sounds. I hadn't even touched myself since that night, and after missing James so much the past few weeks, even this first touch was enough to have me nearly crazy.

I wanted to reach out and feel his short hair against my fingers, wondered if it'd be different now to hold him against me when there was less to grab. But he hadn't reacted very well to me trying to touch him. I held my hands in fists at my side.

James was not holding himself back at all.

His tongue and lips moved in quick succession as he bobbed his head up and down, fingers digging into my ass. He held on to me for purchase and used me to fuck his mouth, his throat. He was messy, spit and precome trailing down his chin as he worked fast, sucking hard against me and holding my hips still every time they canted forward.

This wasn't James giving in, wasn't James forgiving me-this was a new form of punishment. I just wasn't sure which one of us he was punishing.

My chest ached as I grew harder against James' tongue.

He moved one of his hands to the base of my cock, slowly wrapping his fingers around me and tightening his grip. He started to slowly pump me up and down as his head bobbed faster and faster. He peppered light licks and kisses with the hard grind of his warm fist, using his other hand to force my hips up to meet his pace.

I felt it building in my stomach much too quickly. Heat was spasming across my gut, up my chest and through my veins. I was absolutely on fire. James licked and ran his thumb over the head of my cock at the same time, and my hips jutted forward hard.

I bit down hard enough on my hand to draw blood. I hissed and dropped it. "James." I warned, my voice soft and breathless and unrecognizable to my own ears. "James, please."

He wrapped his lips around me again and took me down as far as he could, slowly, his tongue running up and down the hard length.

I groaned out his name once more before I couldn't hold it back anymore.

It came over my fast, my vision blanking as my head threw back against the door, hard enough to hurt. My fingers dug into my thighs, and I gasped as my abdomen shook with twitching muscles, my cock pulsing inside of James' mouth again and again as he harshly sucked, drinking me down.

My knees went weak. James looked up at me, his dark eyes locking with mine as he ran his tongue across me. I pulsed helplessly once more in his mouth, and then he was pulling off of me.

He stood up quickly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"James-" I reached for him.

He shook me off of him. "It's fine."

"What?" I asked incredulously. I unceremoniously stuffed myself back in my boxers and took a step toward James. He was hard, straining against his pants, a bright blush on the highs of his cheeks. His lips were swollen.

"We have to get back before someone notices." James said. He still wasn't looking at me.

I blinked rapidly. "James, come on, I-"

"No." He finally looked at me. If I couldn't see how clearly aroused and affected James was from what he'd just done, I would have thought he hadn't been into it at all. He looked as completely devastated as he had in the hospital parking lot. My chest ached with a hollow hurt.

When he spoke again, there was no anger; it was deflated and nearly kind, which was almost worse. "There's no time. Wouldn't want anyone to know about us."

He glanced down and then, once satisfied that I was appropriately covered, blindly reached on the shelves and grabbed a pack of Post-its before passing me. He paused when our shoulders brushed, but then shook his head and opened the door.

I watched him go.

Swallowing hard, I made my way back to my desk.

I didn't know if that counted as progress or not. I did know that I missed James a hell of a lot more now that I had an hour ago.

* * *

 **Done! So...yeah. Clearly things are still tense with Kames.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter will be up within the next few days, so there shouldn't be too long of a wait for that.**

 **Until then! :D**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello everyone! I'm back with another chapter!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to Side1ways, RainbowDiamonds, Guest, winterschild11, and XxxAnimaniacxxX for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Grandpa was discharged on Friday, and I went straight to their house after work.

Surgery had taken a lot out of him. He was weaker, paler, skinnier. It made my chest ache with a different sort of pain every time I looked at him.

I was so tired of hurting, just from looking at the people that I cared about.

I had been over nearly every day, fixing everything in sight, cleaning. I wanted to make sure that neither of them had any household chores that required so much as lifting above their heads for the next few months.

Grandma told me I was worrying too much. I didn't know if she was right or not. All I knew was that if I was worrying about them, I wasn't thinking about how much I was fucking everything else up.

I helped Grandma with dinner and checked on Grandpa every fifteen minutes, until he threatened to lock the door and climb a ladder just to get away from me.

I knew he would be fine-a broken hip wasn't any sort of joke, but the doctors assured us that Grandpa was recovering spectacularly, and this was just a minor setback in the scheme of things.

It was still terrifying.

We sat down for dinner, and I tried very hard to not to worry every time Grandpa took a bite.

Grandma sat her fork down with a clang. "So! Sweetie, you won't believe who I ran into the other day."

I shoved a forkful of meatloaf in my mouth. "Hmm?"

"Jo! You remember Jo Taylor?" Grandma looked at me expectantly.

I looked at Grandpa. He shrugged and ate more mashed potatoes.

"Um. I do not."

"Oh, Kendall." Grandma laughed. "Of course you do! Blonde. Smart! Bakes good pies."

"Is it possible you're talking about _yourself_?" I asked.

Grandma waved me away while Grandpa snorted. "You two went to Sunday school together."

Oh yeah. I had repressed the hell out of most of those memories. Plus, with everything else going on, that had been the last thing on my mind. "Right. I remember now."

"Anyway," Grandma continued. "I ran into her at the market. Lovely girl. Single."

Grandpa sighed. "Are you trying to set the poor boy up?"

"He'd like her!"

"He's a grown man. He can find his own dates."

"If that's true, why don't I have great-grandbabies?" Grandma turned to look at me. "Where are my great-grandbabies, Kendall?"

I held up my hands. "I just came to clean the gutters!"

Grandpa laughed. Grandma pouted. "She's a lovely girl."

"I'm sure she is." I said, just to keep the peace.

Grandma perked right up. "So I can give you her number?"

I blinked in surprise. "Um...yes?"

 _Yes?_ What the hell?

Grandma clapped her hands. Grandpa rolled his eyes at her, and she swatted him playfully.

I stared at my meatloaf and tried not to have an existential crisis.

What the hell was _wrong_ with me? I was a grown man-a grown, _gay_ man-who was in love...who had a really messed up relationship with his coworker. And now I was agreeing to go on dates with lovely girls that I went to Sunday school with years ago?

What the hell?

James was right.

I couldn't keep living like this. It was more than just not wanting to come out, more than trying to keep the peace. I couldn't date some girl that I barely knew because it would make my grandmother happy.

If I kept doing shit like this, what was to stop me from just dating her for a long time to make my grandparents happy? Getting married to her, having kids with her, just to make them happy?

I didn't want to be in the closet my whole life. I didn't want to sign some unsuspecting girl up to being in a loveless marriage with me.

I couldn't go on like this.

If I kept living a lie, kept living with one foot in and one foot out, I'd never make anyone happy. Grandma would always worry about it; James would never forgive me. I'd just make everyone miserable, for my entire life, because I was too scared to risk hurting them.

I looked at Grandma and Grandpa as they finished their meal, bickering sweetly. I wanted what they had. I wanted a partner-someone who loved me, someone who pushed me, someone who cared about me. Someone who knew me.

I wanted…

I needed to stop lying to everyone. I needed to stop lying to myself.

I wanted James.

Fuck, I wanted James.

I loved him.

* * *

I was sure there was a better way to deal with a broken heart and the rotted feelings in my chest than drinking myself into oblivion.

But at the moment, the rational part of me was too busy wailing in defeat to actually come up with a better solution. So I ignored the desire to do better and went to a bar right after work on Friday.

I was exhausted. I hadn't really slept since the motel in California. And after the other day in the supply closet, I couldn't even close my eyes without picturing Kendall.

It didn't matter what part of him I pictured; if it was him happy, laughing at a joke in the car, then my chest _hurt_. If it was him angry, spitting words made out of knives at me on the side of a road, then that hurt, too.

And if I pictured him, hand against his mouth, to hold back whimpers-that hurt the most.

I knew that Kendall wanted to talk; he'd asked me to talk. I just couldn't do it.

Kendall deserved someone who didn't have this much baggage. He needed me to be okay with things that I wasn't sure I could be okay with.

And as angry as that made me, I knew it wasn't his fault. Kendall would try to change for me, and I couldn't let him. He shouldn't change for me, but I didn't know if _I_ could change.

I wasn't this guy-this guy who fell for stupid, idiotic, closeted, suck-up Scorpios. I knew better than that. I wasn't that guy.

Except that I'd accidentally turned into that guy, and now I was dry-heaving in a bathroom at a bar, trying to get the taste of vodka and someone else's tongue out of my mouth.

The dim bathroom smelled like smoke and vomit. I clenched my fingers around the sink and breathed deeply, trying not to gag from the odors.

The dark circles under my eyes were nearly black, deep divots on my face. My lips were chapped, and my hair was straggly and short. I hated it short.

Every time I had touched it, I'd thought of Kendall's fingers in it. It had to go.

My shirt was wet from beer and vodka and God knew what else. This bar was seedy, a little dive on the other side of the city that I hadn't stepped foot in even back when I was a seedy college student. Now I was too old, and too sad, and too desperate to even pretend like it wasn't disgusting that I was here.

My lungs hurt. My guts felt like I'd been kicked, again and again, and I was having a hard time remembering any conversation with Kendall differently from that.

I splashed water on my face. It didn't help at all.

I slid out of the bathroom and looked around. The guy I had been making out with was standing at the bar, a beer between his fingers as he flirted with some new guy. Good. I didn't want to ruin his night too when I ran away.

I grabbed my jacket from the table we'd been at and slipped out quickly.

I was too drunk to drive. What had I even been thinking? What was I supposed to do? Leave my car here in this dive bar parking lot and pay the forty-dollar cab fare home?

I was fucking losing it. When had I ever been this dumb and reckless?

Kendall thought I was reckless. For a long, horrible moment, I hated him for being right.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. It took me a full minute to figure out what that buzzing meant. I scrambled to tug it out of my pants when I realized.

"Hello?" I asked, hearing how breathless I was. God, I was so fucking gone.

There was a static crack, and then, "Half-Pint?"

 _Lucy._ I slumped against the side of my car, cradling the phone to my ear. "Lucy, it's so fucking good to hear from you."

"James, are you drunk?" Lucy asked.

I let out a low whining sound. "Maybe. Leave me alone."

She laughed. "Want me to go?"

"No!" I said quickly, turning in on the phone to hug it closer to me. I was glad she wasn't here to make fun of me for the neediness. "Isn't it, like, tomorrow there?"

"Yep." Lucy popped the p. "But guess what?"

"What?"

"I'm in yesterday."

I frowned before scratching at a spot behind my ear. "Wait, that's confusing. I don't get it. Ow, my head hurts."

She huffed, but it didn't sound that annoyed. "I _mean_ , I'm in your time zone."

I frowned, tilting my head, trying to connect the dots. "I...I don't understand."

"How smashed are you?" Lucy quipped. "I'm home! I'm in Seattle."

I blamed my excited gasp on the vodka. "No you're not!"

"I am!" She laughed happily.

I choked back a happy sob. I felt drunker now than I had ten minutes ago. Five shots vodka was too many. "I want to see you."

"I'm leaving the airport now. I can swing by?"

"I...am not home." I looked around the empty parking lot, feeling colder and more alone than I had in months. My skin was erupting in little goosebumps, I felt ridiculous standing there.

"Oh, right. Want me to meet you?"

I wrapped my free arm around myself. "Actually, would you come pick me up? I'm drunk."

She whistled. "No driver? It's a good thing I'm your knight in shining armor."

I mostly ignored the pang in my chest. "You really could be." I sang.

She huffed out a laugh. "Where are you? Our usual spot?"

"No." I scratched at my jaw and read out the address to her.

"Goddamn." She said in surprise. "What are you doing all the way out there?"

"It's a long story." I sighed.

Lucy paused. "I'll grab tacos on the way. Be there soon."

She hung up, and I climbed into my car to wait.

The vodka was making me feel sick. Or maybe that was me-maybe I was making myself feel sick. It didn't really matter; either way, the results were the same.

I didn't realize I'd dozed off until I was startled awake. I cursed and jumped. Lucy pounded on the window with her fist a second time.

I crawled out of the car and wound myself around my best friend, hugging her tight. She hugged me just as hard.

"You're home early." I said lamely.

"And you smell like a distillery."

I sniffled, choking back another sob. "I _feel_ like a distillery!"

She chuckled, patting my back. "Oh, no. What happened?"

I sighed and pulled back. I felt ridiculous. "Did you get tacos?"

She nodded and took my keys out of my hands, quickly locking up my car and leading me to hers. I climbed in and buckled up, grabbing a taco and demolishing it quickly.

"Tequila?" She guessed, turning her car on.

"Vodka." I corrected.

She _ahh_ ed in understanding. I ate two more tacos as she drove us back to my place.

Lucy kept the music low, a playlist that I had made for her and demanded that she keep on her phone for when I was around, and while I appreciated the gesture, even listening to my favorite songs sucked now. I had sung them around Kendall, and he had made fun of me when I sang along. I curled up against the passenger side door.

"Get out of the car." Lucy sighed. We had been pulled up by my building for five minutes.

"It's gross in there." I mumbled.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Bitch. Get out."

Reluctantly, I opened the door, practically pooling out on the sidewalk as I fell from the car. She stormed past me to the building, unlocking the door and shoving me inside.

I was glad that she had my keys. I didn't think I had the coordination at the moment to actually get the door unlocked.

I flung myself on my couch when I got inside. I threw off my button-up, glad that at least the undershirt I was wearing didn't seem to be soaked in booze. I had somehow already lost my shoes.

Lucy followed me inside and sat down on the floor next to the couch. She took out more tacos and handed me one. We tapped them against each other in a cheers.

She chewed slowly, eyes narrowed as she watched me.

I only got halfway through the taco before all the contents fell on my shirt. My eyes watered. "My _taco_!"

"Can you get your sorry head out of your ass for a half second so you can tell me what the hell is going on?"

I winced. "Missed you, too."

"Oh, come on. I leave for...what, a month? Two? And you completely fall apart!"

"The two things are not necessarily connected." I mumbled. I pinched the taco guts off my shirt and ate them. It was disgusting. I was disgusting.

Lucy hit me in the head with a pillow. "Bitch! Where's the moon right now?"

I frowned. "What?"

"The moon. Where's that bitch at?"

"Um...she's in Leo." I said.

Lucy quirked her eyebrow. "Want to blame all this on that?"

I sighed. "Yes, please."

"Okay. So. What did that bitch, the moon, make you do?"

I grabbed the pillow she'd hit me with and buried my face in it. "I met a guy."

"What?" Lucy snatched the pillow away. "You want to repeat that?"

"I met a _guy_." I whined.

Lucy's lips twitched. She smacked me in the face with the pillow again. "Ow!" I glared at her. "What was that for?"

"You complete dipshit, we _promised_ we wouldn't meet anyone!"

"Technically, I already knew him."

Lucy's eyes widened. "Jett? Carlos? Daniel? Oh, good lord, was it Kendall? I've been calling that since 2015!"

"You... _what_?!"

Lucy ignored me, choosing instead to scramble onto the couch, pushing me up so we both had one side. "Tell me _everything_."

I groaned and threw my arm over my face, covering my eyes. Then I told Lucy everything that had happened since she'd flown away and thrown me to the wolves of my own emotions.

It took nearly an hour, and Lucy laughed as many times as I almost cried. But by the end, when I was telling her about the quick blowjob in the supply closet, she was burying her face in one of my throw pillows, shoulders shaking with the effort to not openly laugh at me.

She failed miserably. I eventually started laughing too. "You're living a porno!" She cackled, throwing her head back. Tears streamed down her face.

"Fuck off!" I tried to snap it, but it really lost it's effect when I was also doubled over laughing.

"I can't believe it. My dramatic, slutty little bud. I never should have left you alone." Lucy's breathing steadied, but then she looked at me and lost it again.

I grabbed the throw blanket off the back of the couch and put it over my head to hide.

Lucy lifted the end and joined me. "Listen," She said, lips still twitching, but otherwise not openly not mocking me anymore. "I get it."

"You do?" I didn't believe her. I frowned.

Lucy sighed. "Not, like, exactly. I've never literally lived a dozen different porn plots in quick succession."

"Unfortunately." I added.

She nodded. "Unfortunately. But I have, like, been in love."

I could feel the blood draining from my face. "I'm not in love."

Lucy's eyebrows raised. "How sure are you about that?"

I swallowed hard.

Lucy threw the blanket over off of us. I squinted against the light. My head was starting to hurt. "Are there any more tacos?"

"James." Lucy reached out and grabbed my hands. "So there's this guy that you're not in love with, but you're getting messy vodka drunk across town for?"

"Yes." I confirmed.

Lucy ticked a finger up. "Also, he's your bitchy fun enemy from work, also from college, who you clearly had a crush on for years, even though you thought he was straight."

"Nope."

She ticked a second finger up anyway. "He's actively been a bitch to you for years, but then, as soon as you two are alone together, you're jumping each other's bones. Like, constantly."

I threw a pillow at her. She continued. "Disgusting, like rabbits!"

I ground my teeth. "Only technically."

"Only technically." She repeated, rolling her eyes.

"Lucy."

"Look, man. You're in love with him, and I think he's in love with you."

I glared at her. From the sympathetic twist of her smile, I must have looked kind of pathetic. "He hates me now."

"He doesn't." She disagreed.

"I hate him now."

"You really don't." She tapped her fingers against her thighs. "But you should probably apologize."

I knew that. I looked down.

"Listen, I get your side. I do. But...maybe just consider if this guy is worth not being right over. Just apologize. Get your head out of your ass."

I groaned. My chest hurt. I covered my face with my hands. "Are there really no more tacos?"

"You can't taco your way out of love, man. Trust me. I've tried."

I cracked an eye open. Lucy was grinning. I sighed. "You're terrible."

"I'm an incredible best friend." She dismissed my insult with a wave of her hand. "And you are gloriously thankful that I am me."

I moved over on the couch so my head was on her shoulder. "Very true."

Lucy started petting my head. "I can't believe you cut your hair over him."

"Stop making fun of me." I said, head-butting her shoulder. She laughed.

"I haven't seen him since college. Is he still stupidly hot?"

I sighed dreamily. "Yes."

"How did we not know he was gay?"

I looked up at her, shaking my head. "I don't know! We're both very gay."

"And yet, the truest gay, a grandma's boy gay, escaped our notice."

I laughed. Lucy joined in after a second. "Should we watch a cheesy chick-flick?"

"Fuck, yes." I scrambled for the remote. I got the movie loaded up before changing into sweatpants and bringing an extra pair into the living room for Lucy.

She changed and then got us water from the kitchen.

She sat next to me, bumped my shoulder with hers, and then procured two extra tacos from her purse. I kissed the side of her head in gratitude.

I wasn't sure if she was right. I didn't _feel_ in love. It didn't feel like it had when I was seventeen. This was painful, and aching, in a completely different way. And even before all of that, I had felt so on the edge of a knife that a single kiss could have knocked me either way.

Kendall hated me. He wasn't out, and he had no intention of coming out. He didn't want a single thing to do with me. He thought I was a liar.

But still…

I didn't know if this was what love felt like. But hearing Lucy's confident voice say that he was in love with me?

That was definitely what hope felt like.

* * *

 **Done! So, things are looking pretty...hopeful for Kames. Maybe? :P**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed! Unfortunately, we've pretty much reached the finish line of this story. There are about two chapters left, the first of which will be up either Saturday or Sunday.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello everyone! New chapter alert!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge shoutout to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

I was sick to my stomach.

My stomach was rolling, over and over again, my throat threatening to close up. I stood outside of my grandparents' house, clenching the bag of takeout, and trying to contemplate the pros and cons of full on sprinting away from them.

Grandma opened the door before I made it an inch.

"Kendall?" She frowned, looking from side to side. "Why are you standing out here?"

"I-" My voice cracked. I shrugged, and was sure I was sweating bullets. "I thought maybe I saw something. Bugs! Wasps, actually."

"Wasps?" Grandma looked up.

"I didn't see any. I was wrong." I felt my face heat up, and quickly ushered Grandma inside.

She glanced behind her. Grandpa was sitting in his recliner. I waved to him.

Grandma took the bag out of my hand. "Bill, there are _wasps_."

"Wasps?" Grandpa looked around. "Where?"

"Outside!"

"Nowhere." I interjected before sitting on the couch while Grandma took the bag into the kitchen.

My legs jittered nervously as I stared at a baseball game on the TV. Grandpa frowned at me, but otherwise ignored the way I was trembling.

Grandma called us into the dining room, loudly, and Grandpa rolled his eyes at me before winking. We went to the table and sat down while she dished the lasagna out.

"Thank you for bringing over supper!" Grandma said, smiling at me. "Two nights in a row! I'm so lucky."

I shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, of course, any time."

Grandpa shoved a forkful of pasta into his mouth.

I took a deep breath. "I met someone."

Grandma's eyes lit up. "Was it Jo? It was Jo!"

"Not Jo." I shook my head quickly. I swallowed hard. "Um. Actually...okay. So I met someone, and I'd like you to meet...him."

Grandpa coughed before dropping his fork.

Panic flashed through me. I had literally just killed my grandfather.

Grandma passed him a glass of water. "Settle down, Bill."

Grandpa glared at her. I shrank in my seat.

Grandma turned to me, still looking excited. "When do I get to meet him?"

My head snapped up. I could feel my eyes get big. "Um...what?"

"I asked when do I get to meet him." Her eyes widened. "Is it Logan?"

"What?!" My heart was slamming against my chest. "Of course it's not Logan!"

"Well, how am I supposed to know?" Grandma huffed. She grabbed a breadstick from the table and took a bite.

"I...you really want to meet him?"

Grandma looked at me, tilting her head. She frowned. "Of course."

My breath caught in my throat. I could feel my eyes start to water. "Um…"

Grandpa cleared his throat. I turned to him, feeling my heart frantically pounding. I could barely believe what was happening, could barely think or feel anything besides panic.

"Who is it?" Grandpa asked.

I felt about an inch tall. I wondered if a _just joking! w_ ould work here.

"His name is James." My voice came out in a trembling whisper.

Grandpa nodded, his eyes narrowed. He set his fork down. Grandma watched him with a raised eyebrow.

"You know," He said slowly, "there's a new Italian place downtown."

I frowned. "Okay?"

"Let's go next week." He said meaningfully. Grandma was smiling.

I choked back a confused gasp. "What?"

"Don't make me spell it out, boy." Grandpa said, sighing.

I nodded quickly. "You...want to meet him?"

Grandpa's demeanor shifted, and he smiled kindly. "I'm an old man, Kendall, but I ain't dead. If you want me to meet someone, I would really like to be able to."

My eyes burned, and my chest _ached_ with a powerful, strong pulse that I could barely think past. "Okay." I mumbled. "I'll...make reservations. Next Friday?"

"Thursday." Grandma said thoughtfully. She picked her fork back up. "I don't like crowds."

Carefully, I picked up my own fork. I nodded. "Thursday." I said to myself.

My whole body was shaking, but for the first time since the trip, it was something besides anger or sadness. I was just...happy. Excited.

"Thanks." I said suddenly.

Grandma's face softened. Grandpa looked away. "This is good lasagna."

I laughed a little, smiling down at my plate. "Yeah." I agreed. "It really is."

XxX

The tie I was wearing itched.

Grandma kept telling me that ties didn't itch, that the shirt protected my skin, and therefore any itching was just me losing my _goddamn mind_ -although she worded it a lot more nicely.

But my tie really was itching. It was also ugly.

I should have gotten a haircut.

"He'll be here." Grandma assured me, reaching over and putting her hand over mine. She squeezed and smiled.

I wasn't so sure. I knew that James wouldn't come if I invited him myself. It took nearly all week, but by Wednesday, I had finally worked up the courage to ask him. And then I'd chickened out and begged Harris to find an excuse to get James to the restaurant for me.

Surprisingly, the boss seemed unsurprised that I knew about his relationship with James, and that I was asking him for, honestly, such an inappropriate favor. But Harris had just laughed and agreed, promising me James would be there at seven on the dot.

It was six fifty-three. I was going to have an aneurysm.

At least then James would definitely get the promotion. Because I would be dead. From nerves, about going on a date with a guy who didn't know it was a date to meet my grandparents.

Maybe it would be a stroke instead.

"Tell me about him." Grandma said, cutting off my panic-induced funeral planning.

I mentally tabbed the argument I was building on a pine casket over a cherry one and sighed. Grandma propped her head in her hand. Grandpa was halfway through the basket of breadsticks.

"He's...smart." I struggled to find words to describe him. "Also very annoying, but like, in a good way. He's obnoxious, but in a way that you know he's just trying to be fun, and in a way that really is just trying to get you comfortable."

"Seems nice." Grandpa said around a mouthful of bread. I wrinkled my nose at him. He scoffed and took another bite.

"Is he handsome?" Grandma asked, tapping at my hand.

I rolled my eyes, feeling my face burn. "Well, yes."

"I knew it." She grinned.

"He treat you good?" Grandpa asked.

My blush grew warmer. "Grandpa."

"It's a fair question!"

"It is." Grandma agreed, nodding. "It is fair."

"Are you being safe?"

I choked. "Grandpa!"

"It's _fair_!"

"I'm ignoring you both." I turned away and scanned the restaurant.

My heart stopped. James stood in front of the hostess, looking around with a frown on his face.

I jumped up. James' head turned to me, and when our eyes locked, he froze.

"I-" I swallowed hard. My mouth was so dry, and my palms were so sweaty, and this was such, _such_ a bad idea.

"Is that him? Bill! Bill, look."

"Good God, woman, I am looking."

"He _is_ handsome."

"Not as handsome as our Kendall."

"Well, no, but-"

I let their voices fade into the background as I walked toward James. My heart hurt, and my lungs weren't getting enough air, and I felt more like I was floating than walking.

I felt better than I had in days.

"Hi."

"You tricked me."

James didn't look as mad about it as the words suggested. I clung to that hopefully.

"I need to say something to you." I said, feeling my hands tremble as hard as my voice was shaking. "Can we talk? _Please_ , James."

He bit his bottom lip, hard, the teeth almost breaking skin as he looked around. His eyebrows were drawn. His hair had grown out a little.

He looked...tired. My fingers itched with the urge to touch him.

"Okay." James said. He nodded toward a little bench by the window that was otherwise empty.

I followed him to it. Grandma's head popped up as she scanned the room, looking for us.

I ignored them. "I asked Harris to get you here." I explained.

James nodded. He wasn't looking at me, but he was sitting near me, our knees touching, and my skin burned through my pants at the contact. "I figured. Why?"

"I-" I took a deep breath.

There was still time to run.

There was time for me to just apologize, say that I wanted us to be friends, that I would work on being a good friend to him. There was still time for me not to lay myself out there, completely bare and vulnerable to his anger.

He had been so _angry_. At work, in the supply closet-he'd been so mad. I was afraid of him releasing that anger on me now, tonight.

"I told you that I didn't want to talk." James said slowly.

I hung my head. "Yeah, I know."

"But...I'm glad you did this." He admitted.

My head snapped up. "Really?"

James shrugged. He scratched at a spot behind his ear. "I'm really sorry, Kendall."

"What? No, _I'm_ sorry."

"I...pushed you. I'm like that. I push, and I do things, and I try so hard not to take things seriously that somethings I take them way too seriously, or way too _nothing_ , and I don't want to be like that to you. I never...I know I'm a dick sometimes, but I always thought it was like fun, frenemies dicking around, and I never meant or want to hurt you."

I swallowed hard. "I know that."

His head snapped up. "You do?"

"I do." I nodded. "I take things too personally. I know that. And you make things so personal for me."

He considered that, chewing on his bottom lip. "Maybe we both overreacted a little?"

I nodded, swallowing. "Yeah."

"I...I don't...I just…" I had never seen James truly struggle to voice his thoughts before. It made me reach out. My hand fell to the space between us when I realized I had no right.

"I missed you."

James' shoulders fell, his body relaxing. He looked up at me. "I missed you, too."

We were quiet for a minute. It was the most peace I had since the road trip. I wasn't sure when it had happened, but I knew that with James, there were no pretenses. Even the parts of each other we didn't know yet were right there, just beneath the surface. I wondered if the years of rivalry had primed us to fall faster once we finally did.

James looked away. His jaw ticked and his hands folded on his lap, the knuckles turned white from how hard he was holding onto himself.

I blinked rapidly and tried to come up with the right words. I didn't even know if there _were_ any right words. What if he hated me? What if he couldn't forgive me?

I felt sick again.

James looked up, and I lost my breath when our eyes caught. _Fuck it_ , I thought. _Just try._

I exhaled deeply. "I'm really sorry, James."

He sighed. "I know, Kendall, it's-"

"Wait." My hand shot out without my permission and curled around one of his. James' eyes fell to it. "Please, I...I'm not good with words, but just give me a second. Please."

James pursed his lips. Then he nodded. He didn't remove his hand, and the kernel of hope from earlier grew a little bigger.

"I'm really sorry. Not just about being angry. Or thinking you were trying to sabotage me, or any of the stuff that happened between us. I'm sorry that I...wasn't willing to risk anything for you."

James' eyes shot to mine. His mouth fell open in surprise.

Encouraged, I bolstered forward. "I know that's the real thing, right? I wasn't willing to be true to myself, and that sucked, but I also...you came to the hospital, and I walked right past you, and that _hurt_. It hurt me, but God, that must have hurt you, too."

He nodded. I watched him swallow hard.

"You...I wasn't willing to risk anything for you." I took a deep breath and then looked him square in the eye, my jaw twitching. My other hand curled around his until I was holding both his hands in mine.

"I'm done with that. I...I know that I could get hurt. I know that I could hurt you. Here. Or later. But...I miss you. You're worth...you're worth _so_ much, and-"

James softly exhaled my name.

"I want to make this work, James. I love you."

There was a beat, where James' eyes were so wide and bright that I thought maybe the whole world had frozen, and I was actually drowning in his eyes. But then he surged forward, hands flying to my neck to tug me closer to him. I fell, body smashing against his, trapping him against the wall.

His lips were hard against mine, desperate and sure, and I was lost.

I kissed him back just as passionately. He smelled like cinnamon and coffee and I couldn't get close enough.

I yanked away with a start, remembering we were in a restaurant.

James let out a low whine and tugged me back. "We're in public." I whispered.

"The police response time _can't_ be shorter than five minutes." He argued.

I laughed. "James."

He kissed my neck. The hostess looked up at the ceiling, as if God was punishing her by sending us.

I untangled myself from James' body. "I...my grandparents are here."

"Oh, shit!" James jumped away from me, looking around. He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm so sorry! Oh, shit, did I just out you?"

I shook my head quickly, reaching out for his hand. The tingling in my hand stopped as soon as we were touching. "Actually, I told them."

James' eyes impossibly widened. His jaw fell. I grinned. "Flies will fall in." I warned him, tapping at the bottom of his chin.

His mouth snapped closed. "You _told_ them, told them?"

"Yes." For the first time, a thrill of pride went up my spine.

"Why?" He blurted out before wincing a little and shaking his head. "Sorry, that was rude."

"I had to." I admitted. I bit my bottom lip and then let it go with a pop. "I needed them to meet you."

James let out a fast burst of breath. "What?"

His voice sounded so small and soft. I kissed him once more, gently. "I wanted them to meet you. They're...they're ready. If you are."

James' eyes flickered between mine and the seating area where my grandparents were. He swallowed. "Are you sure?"

"About you?" I smiled. "Yes."

James broke out into a grin. "Lucy's going to be so pissed she didn't meet you first."

"Lucy? From college?" I frowned, trying to place the girl I used to know.

James chuckled and shook his head. "There is still so much for you to learn about me."

I grinned and leaned in to place my forehead against his. "I'm ready for it."

"Me too." James stood and offered me his hand. "Let's go impress the grand-folks."

I laughed. "My grandma is going to ask you inappropriate questions."

James considered that, and then nodded. "I'm ready."

Holding James' hand, feeling his presence at my side, I thought that I finally was too.

* * *

I was going to _sue_ the alarm clock company. I was late again. It wasn't really the alarm clock's fault, but I hated it, and it was inanimate, easier to destroy than my job, and therefore going to suffer all my sleepy rage.

My Americano was spilling down my arm as I raced into the lobby at work.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-" I slammed into something. Or rather, someone.

Hands wrapped around my elbows and helped steady me. I blinked.

Kendall sighed heavily and straightened me out. He took my coffee out of my hands and took a chug. "Payment." He said, lifting the cup.

I raised my eyebrows. "So I physically smash into you _once_. Big deal."

He laughed and handed the coffee back. I smashed the elevator button.

"I already clicked that."

"And now we've clicked it twice."

He rolls his eyes. The elevator doors opened and we stepped inside.

"How did you sleep?" I asked.

Kendall slid his phone in his pocket. He leaned against one side of the elevator. "Not that good."

"I _am_ the best bed companion." I wiggled my eyebrows.

He scoffed. "You trap the heat. That's all."

"Sure, sure." I closed the space between us.

Kendall grinned.

A lot had changed in the last few weeks.

Two months ago, being stuck in an elevator with Kendall Knight was borderline torture. I would try to chat with him and, best-case scenario, be thoroughly amused by his complete discomfort.

But now?

Now, getting stuck in the elevator with Kendall wasn't just acceptable, but preferred. Making out in an elevator with my boyfriend before work started? That almost made getting out of bed worth it.

Kendall slipped his tongue between my lips, and I clarified: it _definitely_ made it worth it.

The elevator dinged as we arrived on our floor, and we jumped apart.

Kendall's eyes were wide and his lips were just a little swollen. I sighed happily at the sight. "I'm really glad you were late, too."

Kendall furrowed his brows. "What?"

"Well, I was late, and you were here at the same time as me." I shrugged.

Kendall's expression smoothed out, and he grinned. "Oh. No, I just changed all your clocks to be fifteen minutes faster. You're welcome."

The elevator doors parted, and he strode out.

I chased after him. "You fucking _what_?!"

XxX

Today was entirely illustrating the concept of deja vu.

I made my way up to Harris's office, and fought off comparing this day with the day I'd had a few weeks ago. I wondered if Kendall had reported me for being late again. The elevator dinged, and I walked through the hallway, rapping on the door twice before letting myself in.

Harris raised his eyebrows as I slumped into the chair. I grinned. "Hi, Uncle Harris." I lifted my ankles to his desk, crossing them.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I love my sister. I love my sister."

"You love me, too." I grinned and pulled my feet down, sitting more appropriately. "Did Knight report me again?"

Harris' lips twitched. "No, actually. You're here for non-Kendall related issues."

I whistled between my teeth. "Shocking."

"To you and me both." Harris said wryly. He shuffled papers on his desk and pulled one out, setting it on top. I forced myself not to look over.

"So, James, you've done great work for this company. Spectrum really appreciates your work here."

"Am I getting canned?" I interrupted.

Harris laughed. "No. Quite the opposite, actually."

My heart stopped. "I got the promotion."

"Can you please let me talk?" I obediently shut my mouth. "I assumed you've heard that we're opening a new branch in Boston. The company is doing much better, in no small thanks to work like yours, and we're looking to send over some seasoned veterans to train the new guys."

"Temporary?" I questioned.

"Permanent." Harris waited a second before asking, "Would you consider taking on a management role in the new branch?"

I considered it. I smiled. "I kind of think that Kendall would be more qualified, actually."

Harris raised his eyebrows. "And why is that?"

I shrugged. "He's got, I don't know. That leadership quality."

Harris smiled. "Kendall was my first choice, actually. Unfortunately, he declined the offer."

I stopped short. "Wait, what? No. Kendall would never turn down a management offer."

"That's what I thought." Harris admitted. "I guess something here is more important than work."

I scoffed. "To Kendall? _Our_ Kendall Knight?"

Harris leaned back in his chair. He was fighting a grin. "One and the same."

I let out a surprised breath of air. Why would Kendall do that? He'd been vying for a higher position for years. He lived and breathed work. He would do great at a management position-he would be the world's dorkiest boss, but he would love every second of it.

It could have been his grandparents, I guessed. Especially after his grandfather's scare, he wouldn't want to be far from them.

A smaller part of me wondered if it was because of me.

I pushed that thought away quickly. We'd only been together a few weeks-and,sure, I wouldn't want to leave without him, and if he did accept the position and he, I don't know, _wanted_ or asked me to go with him, sure. Sure, I could do that. But…

I swallowed.

"Anything else?" Harris asked. "Besides forcing me to go into another round of hiring because both of my picks turned me down?"

I looked down sheepishly. "You could always send more than one."

Harris' eyebrows shot up to his forehead. He smiled slowly. "Something to consider."

I sat there for another second, wondering what I was supposed to do with this new information. Confront Kendall? Did asking your boyfriend about his job prospects even count as a confrontation? Would it turn into something bigger?

My head hurt. I wanted another coffee.

I sighed, slapped my thighs, and then stood up to leave. I got to the door before I paused.

"Oh, Uncle Harris?" He sighed and looked up. "That package we delivered...it's been driving me crazy. What was in it?"

Harris grinned, leaning back in his chair. "Nothing that I couldn't have sent via regular mail."

He winked. My mouth fell open in surprise. "You knew!" I accused.

Harris laughed. "Go ask your boyfriend why he won't accept my job promotion."

My cheeks burned, and I flipped my uncle off before going back downstairs to do exactly that.

My coworkers' responses to my question led me to find Kendall downstairs at a coffee kiosk. He was fourth in line.

"Kendall." I jogged over to him.

His hands flew up. "How did you know?"

"Know?" I frowned. "About the job?"

"The...no, not the job. The coffee. I was going to cheap out and order you a regular brew instead of an Americano, and you know." He tilted his head. "Wait, you know about the job?"

"Yes." I said, then stopped and glared at him. "I can't believe you."

"I'm _sorry_. I'll order the right drink." He sighed heavily.

I waved him off. "That's not important. Why did you say no to the job?"

Kendall's head snapped up and he bit down on his bottom lip. He looked away as we moved up in line. "I don't know."

"Yes, you do." My heart started to hammer. I tried not to grin.

"Yes, I do." Kendall sighed. He turned and looked at me fully. His face was bright red. "I know we've only been dating for a little while-"

"Three weeks." I interrupted. I was full-on grinning now.

Kendall didn't seem to notice. "Fine, three weeks, and I know that's short but I...wasn't ready to, I don't know, fuck it up. Not when I might do that accidentally, at any moment now, and-"

I grabbed him by the neck and yanked him toward me, shutting him up with a kiss. He stood frozen for a second before melting into me.

I pulled back and kissed the bridge of his nose. "I turned the job down, too."

His eyes popped open. "You're kidding."

"Well, I'm not ready to fuck it up either." I said.

Kendall laughed. It was a bright, happy sound. I wanted to keep it against my skin forever. "We're idiots."

"Completely." I agreed.

"I can't believe we both turned the job down."

"It's a good thing." I assured him. "It means we get to keep doing this."

Someone cleared their throat. We jumped apart. "It's your turn." The woman behind us said kindly.

I blushed. Kendall was a bright red. "Um, thanks."

We ordered our coffees quickly. Kendall even got my order right.

"Hey, Kendall?" He took his change back from the barista and glanced at me.

"Hmm?" He asked, shoving the change in his pocket. He handed me my coffee. "Here."

We started to walk back toward the elevators. "You can take the job."

He spun towards me. "What?"

"The job. If you want it, take it."

His eyes widened and his lips turned down, a hurt expression crossing his face before he could hide it. "I thought-"

I realized what my words sounded like, and quickly interrupted. "Harris would transfer me."

Kendall inhaled sharply.

"If I asked," I said, softly, "he'd transfer me."

Kendall looked at me, his eyes flickering across my face. His lips spread in a pretty, soft smile.

The elevator dinged and parted. Kendall nodded his head. "After you."

We rode the elevator up quietly, holding each other's hands. I was starting to really love this elevator.

* * *

 **Done! So, Kames have finally patched things up and are officially together!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed! I can't believe I'm already saying this, but the next chapter will be the final one. It feels like this story just flew by! I'm not sure when the final chapter will be up, but it will definitely be sometime this week.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hello everyone! We've officially reached the end of the line.**

 **Before we get to the final chapter, I would like to thank to everyone that read this story! I would also like to give a huge thank you to Side1ways, Guest, winterschild11, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing every chapter!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

"Listen, I know the moon is in Gemini right now, but that's no goddamn excuse." James said as he crossed his arms and glared at me.

I jabbed a finger at him. "You _know_ I don't know what the hell that means."

James huffed. "I send you a weekly horoscope, man. It's not my fault you don't read it."

I rolled my eyes, but didn't say anything. Technically, he was right.

James grinned, clearly taking that as a triumph. I tried not to fidget with annoyance.

"I think the bed looks good here." I didn't actually care. It was just fun to see James squirm.

"It looks like trash, actually." James said pointedly, and shoved at the metal frame. "And I want it east-facing."

Begrudgingly, I helped him move it to the other wall. "What fucking blog did you read that on?"

"I didn't!" He protested. I raised my eyebrows. He looked away. "Okay, Lucy did."

I laughed. We got the bed east-faced and James threw himself onto the mattress happily. "This is so much better." He said.

"It looks _dumb_ over here. We're going to wake up every morning at six a.m. with the sun."

"You like the sun." He pointed out.

"The sun is fine." I waved a hand and lay next to him on the bed. "But I actually like sleeping."

"You do not." James said. He rolled over and pinned me against the mattress. "I like the bed here."

I sighed, shifting my legs so I had one thigh on either side of his legs. "What if I just waited until you were at work and I moved it?"

James tilted his head down and kissed the bridge of my nose. "Babe." He said sweetly. "You try that, and I swear to God I'll superglue it to the floor."

I burst out laughing. James grinned. The apartment was barely furnished, all of our things were still taped up in brown boxes, and as a joke, we'd been eating nothing but Boston Cream donuts all day. The move to Boston had been a bit arduous, if not full-on impossible-feeling most days, but now we were here.

The branch was getting up and running, James and I co-managing it. We'd only been here a few days now, but I could already tell I preferred it to Seattle. There was less rain, less competition, less pent-up worry from years of being afraid of things I couldn't control.

James leaned over and caught my bottom lip between his. His mouth wasn't a shock anymore-his lips didn't send thrills of surprise down my spine. Instead, it was something steadier-something warmer. His lips were soft and gentle against mine, moving comfortably, familiarly. James tasted, felt, like home.

I slid one hand into his hair, sighing happily against his mouth when my fingers gripped in his hair. James had the softest hair of anyone I'd ever met-it was nice and silky and beautiful, and I joked constantly about leaving him when he started to go bald.

My other hand curled around his neck. I opened my mouth, slipping my tongue into his mouth. He groaned and kissed me harder, deepening the kiss until we were panting against each other.

One of my legs hitched up around his waist. I tugged hard at his hair to pull him away from my mouth, taking a ragged breath before kissing at his neck.

"Okay." James sighed, rolling his head back to give me more room to kiss. I happily went to work. "You should probably get going."

"No." I mumbled against his skin. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close.

James laughed, the sound slowly morphing into a moan when I sucked at his pulse point. "Kendall."

"Mmm." I licked at his neck and tugged at his shirt. "Say that again, but lower."

James laughed again, the breathy sound blowing the top of my hair. He knocked my hands off of him and rolled to the side. "Kendall, man, you gotta go to work."

I turned my head and frowned at him. "I don't want to."

He quirked an eyebrow. "You love work. You get hard for work."

I wrinkled my nose. "That's gross."

"Babe, that's you." James nudged me with his shoulder. We both looked up at the ceiling. "Should we get glow in the dark stars?"

"I don't know, should we get a time machine and be twelve years old?"

"You're a jerk."

"You love me."

James smiled. He reached over and cupped my face. "True."

"Fuck off." I mumbled, reaching over and fisting his shirt. I pulled him to me and kissed him again.

"Go to work." James said, swatting me on the shoulder. I reluctantly rolled off of the bed.

"I want to stay here with you." I admitted, going to the box in the corner of the room and grabbing a tie. I knotted it and watched James, who was sprawled across the bed, watching me.

"You're a nerd." He said affectionately.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, never mind. I would rather leave."

James laughed and threw a pillow at me. I dodged it and slipped on my shoes. "Okay. Enjoy your day off." I said as I headed to the door.

"Don't forget about dinner! We're going to Sorellina!" James called after me.

I paused at the door, frowning. "Sorellina? That fancy place?"

James flushed. "Yes. It...had good reviews! Let me celebrate this move."

I lifted my hands in defeat. "Sure, sure. I'll meet you there. Seven?"

"Seven!" James said. "Not a minute later."

I nodded. I considered calling off of work again, but figured it would be a bad move for the boss to stay home just to screw around with the other boss. I sighed and tore my gaze away from James' smiling, languid body. "The bed looks bad there. Love you!"

I heard another pillow hit the door as I left. "Fuck off! Love you, too!"

I laughed all the way out to my car.

* * *

The flowers on the table were a full half-inch too short for the vases they were in, and I wasn't sure if I was angrier about that, or the fact that I _knew_ that.

"James, Kendall doesn't care about flowers." A girl with dark hair said as she crossed her arms.

I frowned, trying to place her. One of Kendall's friends from back in Seattle dating his roommate, I thought. _Caroline? Catherine?_

I nearly snapped my fingers when I remembered. "Camille." I said. She cocked her head. "I don't give a fuck that Kendall doesn't care about flowers. _I_ don't care about flowers."

"Then why are you panic-sweating about the flowers?"

I huffed and pointed a finger at her. She stared at me, unimpressed. I jabbed the finger in the air again, and then spun around. I grabbed a waiter by the sleeve.

"The flowers are _wrong_."

The waiter blinked at me. I groaned and waved him away.

The restaurant was beautiful. It had also cost the entirety of my signing bonus for the new firm to rent out for the night. Kendall had 'invested' his.

Good God, Kendall was going to kill me for spending this money. I threw myself in a chair and buried my head between my hands.

"He's going to say no." I said to whoever had just sat down in the chair next to me. It didn't really matter. I had flown out all of my and Kendall's family and friends, and so whoever was in this restaurant was entitled to hear my panic. "He's going to say no, and I'm gonna be an old, barren loser."

"You're already old, barren, and a loser." Lucy said. I looked up. She looked pretty tonight, but her eyes were sharp, which told me she wasn't going to put up with any of my bullshit. "But you're also deeply in love and about to get engaged."

I took a deep breath. "Do you really think so?"

"You're, honest to God, a giant fucking idiot." Lucy said before wrapping her arms around me. I hugged her back.

"Remember when we made a pact to get married when we turned fifty?" I asked against her shoulder. She hummed in response. "Sorry I'm fucking that up."

She pulled away. "I'm not. We'd be a terrible married couple. So much cheating on each other!"

I laughed. "I can't believe this is happening."

Lucy perked up and looked toward the window. "Well, start believing it. I think I hear him."

"Oh, fuck." I jumped up. "Um, places!"

There was scattered laughing, and then everyone was ushered into the other room. I swallowed hard when a waiter turned the lights off.

"Um, excuse me, am I early? This place looks...closed." Kendall's voice timidly wafted in as the door opened.

I couldn't help but grin. The waiter laughed. "No, sir."

"Oh, please don't call me sir." Kendall corrected quickly. I rolled my eyes.

The waiter led Kendall around the corner. I took a deep breath when he came into the room.

Kendall froze.

I could only imagine what Kendall was thinking right now-an entirely empty, dimly-lit restaurant, with dozens of flowers too small for their vases, and candles melting wax onto tablecloths, and me, in a _blue_ tie, of all colors.

He was going to say no.

Fucking hell.

"Um, hi, babe. How was work?"

Kendall dropped his coat on the floor. He closed the space between us quickly. "Ken?"

His hands fisted into my suit jacket and he yanked me toward him, kissing me hard. I kissed him back, winding my arms around his neck.

We lost ourselves in the moment until I heard the soft sound of someone clearing their throat. I flushed and pulled away. "Um, it was that good?"

Kendall's eyes were wide. He couldn't stop looking at the room and back to me, eyes flickering everywhere. "Shut up." He said softly. "What is all this?"

"Ken." I moved one hand until I was gently cupping his face. He leaned into the touch, and I smiled. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Okay, can you-" I took a step back and he took a step forward. I laughed. "Can you, like, stand a bit away? You're distracting me."

"How?" He took a few steps backward.

"Your _face_ is distracting me." I corrected before winking at him. He rolled his eyes.

"What is all this?" He repeated his question, but the growing smile on his face seemed like he knew.

I breathed deeply in and then let it out. _Here goes nothing._

I got down on one knee. Kendall let out a strangled sound.

"I know this is old fucking news but, Kendall, I really love you-"

"I love you, too." He choked out.

I grinned. "And I know that you really hated me for a long time-"

"I never _hated_ you." He disagreed.

My head fell back as I tried to control the urge to laugh. "Babe, this isn't really a participatory thing. No need for call and response."

He blushed. I heard laughter coming from the other room and he frowned, looking at the door, so I grabbed his hand to get his attention back.

"I know you really _acted_ like you hated me, thought I was a prick, but I...I never minded. Because even having you annoyed and frustrated at me is so incredible. Just having any bit of your attention is an incredible thing." I said, taking a breath before continuing.

"And for some reason, I got lucky enough that you decided I was worth more of it. Of your attention, and your time, and, eventually, your love. I'm _so_ thankful that you gave me the time of day. But as you pointed out one day a long time ago, on a road trip we had no business being on: I'm selfish. I'm selfish, and I love you, so even though I don't deserve one second of time with you, I'm going to ask for all of it. I want all of your time. So Kendall, please marry me. Marry me, and let us spend the rest of our time together."

Slowly, Kendall slid down onto his knees. He cupped my face, his eyes wide and wet with unshed tears.

He leaned forward and gently kissed me. I wrapped one arm around his waist, the other clutching to his wrist. One of us was crying; I could taste the tears on my lips. I didn't care who.

He pulled away after a moment and leaned his forehead against mine. "Yes." He whispered. "Let's get married."

My eyes popped open. "Really?"

He laughed. "Really."

I kissed him, an onslaught of quick pecks against his lips, cheeks, forehead, eyelids. "Oh my god, I love you so much."

I love you, too!"

He kept laughing as I tackled him to the floor to kiss all over his face. His hands went to my belt. I froze. "Babe, you're going to want to stop."

He frowned. "The place is empty."

"Yeah, except for that room over there where all our friends and family are waiting."

Kendall's eyebrows shot to the top if his head. "Hi, Kendall!" I heard Lucy call.

I laughed. His face burned. "Hi, Lucy."

The doors opened, and everyone flooded in. Logan was the first one to make it over to hug us.

Kendall's grandma flew to him and started peppering him with questions, while his grandpa came over to me.

"Sir." I shook his hand.

"Welcome to the family, son." Bill said. He grabbed me and pulled me in tight for a hug.

I caught Kendall's eye from over his grandfather's shoulder. He looked happier than I had ever seen him.

We made our way around the room, thanking everyone for being there, and catching up with friends we hadn't seen since we moved.

Lucy was trying to convince Logan and Camille to move to Boston, like she and Kendall's grandparent's were in the process of doing. I tapped Kendall on the shoulder, nodding to the hallway, and slipped away.

He came and joined me after a minute. "Hi." I said.

He smiled and put his hands on my waist, tugging me closer to him. "Hi."

"So. I guess we're getting married."

He wrinkled his nose. "Does this mean I have to start agreeing with you about things?"

Oh, absolutely." I joked. "All your opinions are now officially irrelevant."

"Good to know." Kendall nodded. He leaned in, grinning, and kissed me.

"Hey, Ken?" He raised his eyebrows, cocking his head. "There's something you should know."

He frowned. "What?"

I waited a second until he was smacking my shoulder. I grinned. "There's no fucking way we're getting married in Aries season."

Kendall groaned. "But you _know_ March will have the best weather!"

I jumped, pointed a finger a him. "Aha! I _knew_ you paid attention to my astrology email blasts!"

I cackled. Kendall hid his face in his hands. "I hate you."

"Hey, Ken?"

"What?"

I pulled his hands away from his face and kissed his nose. "I love you."

His face relaxed. He slipped his hands and intertwined our fingers. "I love you, too."

I leaned my head against his shoulder, one of Kendall's hands raising to stroke through my hair, and I sighed happily.

For the first time since Dak's death, I felt truly happy, and I couldn't help but think that he was here somehow, cheering me and Kendall on.

There were a lot of things in my life that had been hard-things that had hurt and changed me. But there was nothing in my life that was as wonderful, altering, and important as Kendall.

It was crazy to think about where this had all started-on a roadside motel in California, an elevator in Seattle, a college campus. Kendall had always been there. I couldn't express to anyone, not even Kendall, how incredibly _thankful_ I was that we had found our way to each other.

I wondered if Kendall would divorce me if I made our wedding theme _written in the stars_.

It didn't matter. Kendall would love me anyway. Sometimes, things were just meant to be.

* * *

 **Done! So, Kames are getting married! They're also co-managing the new branch in Boston!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter and story in general, as well as if you happened to have any favorite parts/moments!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and story! This was such a fun ride and fun story to work on, and although I'm so sad to see this one end already, I'm _so_ thankful for each and every one of you that joined me for this ride! I love you guys so much and am so excited for what's next! ;)**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


End file.
